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Thread: Does this sound natural in japanese?

  1. #1
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    Does this sound natural in japanese?

    怖だけと、頭の奥、胸の奥、心の白と黒を見せてみたい。多分本当に愛しているだから。

  2. #2
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    Re: Does this sound natural in japanese?

    Quote Originally Posted by Manolo18 View Post
    けと、頭の奥、胸の奥、心の白と黒を見せてみたい。多分本当に愛しているから。
    However, We do not say 頭の奥 nor 心の白と黒. We could guess and imagine what you mean, but far from natural.
    Also, 多分 does not go well with 本当に愛している.

    A natural line would be「心の隅々(すみずみ)まで見せたい。」or 「~見せてしまいたい。」or「~見せられたら。」
    (if the context I'm guessing is correct, that is.)

  3. #3
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    Re: Does this sound natural in japanese?

    多分本当に愛している is okay. It is a less-than-perfect conviction that one's love is true.

    心の白と黒 is not immediately intelligible as a Japanese expression. Does that mean positive and negative thoughts of some kind?
    Always give as much context as you think unnecessary. How do you like your lamb leg steak? — Medium, right leg!

  4. #4
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    Re: Does this sound natural in japanese?

    Then maybe I could say あたまのなか and 心の光と暗さ? Sumizumi does carry the mesning but no the same feeling. I want her to see both the good and bad in it.

  5. #5
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    Re: Does this sound natural in japanese?

    心の白と黒
    心の光と暗さ
    If what you're trying to say here is that you want to show her the good side and bad side of your personality, how about "良い面も悪い面も見せたい"?
    With that said, although this is natural Japanese, I'd say it became a bit ordinary...
    心の光と暗さ doesn't sound perfectly Japanese, but it still carries some power and leaves me with a strong impression. I like that.

  6. #6
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    Re: Does this sound natural in japanese?

    Or maybe, either "心の光と闇(light and darkness)" or "心の光と影(light and shadow)" if you prefer such expressions.
    (I thought someone/Flaminius-san? had posted「~を見てもらいたい」instead and I think it sounded good. Why deleted? I still think たぶん does not go well with 本当に愛してる, though, unless it is たぶん「本当に愛してる」とわかる.)
    Last edited by Tonky; 28th September 2013 at 3:46 PM.

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