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Thread: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

  1. #21
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    Re: Ti voglio bene

    Quote Originally Posted by sarah001
    I'd like to know more about "TVB" - as in when it's used at the end of a letter/sms.
    Thanks..
    Normally we use "TVB" at the end of a message when this person is important to you!

    If I met a girl for the firts time and I write to her "TVB" it could be misunderstood like "I start to feel something".
    If I pass a lot of time with this girl and we start to feel something or we start to be very good friends I can write to her "TVB".

    I said "ti voglio bene" only to a man in my life, it was a REAL good friend, one of those person you find rarely. But in SMS sometimes I wrote TVB to a friend when he do something important for me. Like I want to say "Thank you very much! I appreciate and you are a good friend."

    TVB is an abbreviation that can maybe change the sentence "Ti voglio bene" and can give it another mean less sentimental as the extended version.

    It could be used also in forums when a person always save you and give you the right aswer.

  2. #22
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    Re: Ti voglio bene

    Io credo che "ti voglio bene" non implichi affatto il desiderio sessuale e che detto tra fidanzati non sia esattamente lo stesso che Ti amo, ma che non per questo abbia meno intensità, si sposta solo su un altro piano.
    La locuzione italiana "voler bene" viene da Catullo (carme 72) che riporto di seguito così magari può essere d'aiuto a chi non lo conosce.
    Il carme evidenzia come l'amare una persona implica una passione forte ma combattuta, cieca perché non vede i torti subiti, insomma molto irrazionale. Il "voler bene" invece, appare come un sentimento fondamentalmente disinteressato (il padre verso i figli) che però è più forte dell'amore perché più razionale, è più un "tenere" a una persona ed essere interessati a ciò che gli accade, ma che implica di più una corrispondenza, un'empatia che nell'amore non sempre si trova. E infatti è interessante come lui affermi che dopo i torti subiti la ama di più ma le vuole meno bene. Il traduttore qui ha scelto "to wish someone well".

    I think that "ti voglio bene" doesnt implies any sexual issue and if your boyfriend says it to you is different from "ti voglio bene" but not less deep, it just moves to a different level.
    The Italian "ti voglio bene" comes from Catullus (poem 72) that you can find here below if you dont know it.This poem underscores that loving someone implies a very deep passion but struggled, blind cause it cannot see the backstabbings, a very irrational feeling. The "voler bene"(here translated as "To wish someone well") appears to be a very good-natured feeling (like a father to a child), stronger than love because more rational, more like "to care for someone", which implies more a balance, an empathy that you cant always find in a love-story. In fact its interesting to read that after all the bad things she did to him he actually love her more but "vuole bene" less.
    Here's the poem, ecco il carme
    ITA
    Dicevi che tu conosci solo Catullo,
    Lesbia, e per me non vuoi possedere Giove.
    Ti amai allora non tanto come il volgo un'amica,
    ma come un padre ama i figli ed i generi.
    Ora ti ho conosciuto: perciò anche se brucio troppo intensamente,
    tuttavia mi sei molto più vile e leggera.
    Come è possibile, ribatti? Perché una tale offesa
    costringe ad amare di più, e a voler bene di meno.
    ENG
    At one time you used to say that you alone knew Catullus,
    Lesbia, neither did you wish to know Jupiter instead of me.
    At that time I loved you not as the common crowd of men love a girlfriend
    but as a father loves his sons and sons in law.
    Now I know you: wherefore even if I burn the worse,
    you are cheaper and of less meaning to me.
    You say how can this be? Because a hurt of such a kind
    forces a lover to love more, but to wish her less well.

    Ciao a tutti
    Stolly

  3. #23
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    Ti voglio bene

    Hi there,
    I'm a native Italian from Northern Italy.

    This is a difficult question. I've read this post: every reply by my fellow country[wo]men is right in its way.

    I don't want to sound preachy (sorry about that!!!) but we will end up confusing our foreign friends even more if we don't provide ONLY the general trend(s) of the issue.
    Life (languages and feelings) are always more complicated than their rules, but nobody will understand anything, IMHO, if we do not pretend that there are clear-cut differences (at least in the early stages of learning).

    I know all too well that an Italian boy in love with a girl MAY EVEN tell her "Ti voglio bene" or text "TVB" through an SMS, but it's confusing, if you have just finushed saying that "ti voglio bene" doesn't imply an erotic-sexual-romantic relationship.

    I know I don't hold God's Truth about this but I'm going to indicate the "general trend" , some "Play-it-safe rules" of this issue:

    1) "I'm in love with you" - "Sono innamorato di te" [(Romantic + physical-sexual) relationship]

    2) "I've fallen in love with you" - "Mi sono innamorato di te"

    3) "Mi piaci" - Literally it would be "I like you" but..............

    If you use it as a stand-alone sentence, it's very compromising, it means something like "I think I'm falling in love with you"

    If you want to use it as in "I like you [or "I love you"], Brian, you're the only person I know who thinks I'm too thin", use something like "Sei troppo forte, Brian, sei l'unico che crede che sono troppo magra", literally meaning "You're a gas, Brian,..."

    4) "Ti voglio bene" - "I love you", "I care for you", "I'm fond of you" ONLY expressing:

    a - affection towards your relatives ["Mummy, I love you", "Ti voglio bene, mammina"];

    b - friendship between same-sex people, assuming that you both clearly aren't homosexual;

    c - [CAUTION] friendship with the opposite sex, if the situation is clear enough to avoid misunderstandings (e.g. if you know you both have a partner).
    If not, use "Ciao, stammi bene" - "Bye, take care" or "Sei davvero un amico" - "You're really some friend!"

    d - [CAUTION] if you're in a friendly relationship with a girl, you would like it to evolve into a romantic-physical relationship, but you don't know if she wants it too.
    It enables you to pussyfoot, it gives you time to test the waters.

    e - [CAUTION] if you don't want to commit yourself too much in a relationship with a girl, and you sense she wants you to jump in it with both feets

    d - [ESP. IN FLIRTING or SMS] Another * very casual* way of saying "I'm in love with you", especially in puppy loves in colleges.

    5) "Ti amo" - "I love you" ONLY in the sense of "I'm in love with you", I wanna go steady with you, I want our relationship to be something serious

    6) "Amare" always implies something erotic when used towards the opposite sex except for:

    a - when a third party talking about the motherly - fatherly love towards their children ["Ama molto i suoi figli" "She loves her children very much"]
    It's obvious that she's not a paedophile!!!
    NB. Remember that a son addresses his mother (and viceversa) with "Ti voglio bene" - cfr. 4a

    b - when speaking of your hometown or your motherland ["Amo molto l'Italia" - "I love Italy very much"]

    7) "I want you" Although it's a wonderful Bob Dylan song, this expression in Italian ("Ti voglio") sounds very rude to me, if you use it as a stand-alone sentence.
    It always implies something like "I want to f**k you", which is not so kind.
    Instead, "Ti voglio sempre con me" is a very sweet sentence to say: it means "I want to be with you forever!".

    I hope I have been clear enough. Any comments, criticism, heart-felt insults are welcome!

    Bye, bye
    Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι ουδὲν οἶδα [Socrates]

  4. #24
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    Yet another "Ti amo/Ti voglio bene" thread

    Hello!

    Not usually one to beat a dead horse, after reading the sticky posts on the subject, I am still in need of some clarification...

    From what I have read, "ti amo" and "ti voglio bene" both mean "I love you." The circumstances sometimes differ, which changes the interpretation a bit...

    My problem is that I associate "ti voglio bene" with (yes, I know this is the Italian-English forum ) "je t'aime bien" in French, which if said in a girlfriend/boyfriend situation leaves one wanting a bit more... Secondly, my girlfriend seems to not like "ti amo" but prefers "ti voglio bene" or "ti voglio tanto bene."

    My question is then, just how strong can "ti voglio bene" be? And when does one pass from "ti voglio bene" to "ti amo"? Is there in fact a difference? She seems to "love" me but for some reason I can't get over the fact that she only says that she "likes me a lot." Perhaps I am just being silly or getting caught up on words

    Thank you so much in advance for any input you can give me (and for putting up with yet another "love" post )

    Riri

    PS - She is from Tessin, the italian part of Switzerland, if that makes any difference... Oh, and she's a bit shy
    Di mi se mai fu fatta alcuna cosa

  5. #25
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    Re: Yet another "Ti amo/Ti voglio bene" thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Rinias View Post
    Hello!

    Not usually one to beat a dead horse, after reading the sticky posts on the subject, I am still in need of some clarification...

    From what I have read, "ti amo" and "ti voglio bene" both mean "I love you." The circumstances sometimes differ, which changes the interpretation a bit...

    My problem is that I associate "ti voglio bene" with (yes, I know this is the Italian-English forum ) "je t'aime bien" in French, which if said in a girlfriend/boyfriend situation leaves one wanting a bit more... Secondly, my girlfriend seems to not like "ti amo" but prefers "ti voglio bene" or "ti voglio tanto bene."

    My question is then, just how strong can "ti voglio bene" be? And when does one pass from "ti voglio bene" to "ti amo"? Is there in fact a difference? She seems to "love" me but for some reason I can't get over the fact that she only says that she "likes me a lot." Perhaps I am just being silly or getting caught up on words

    Thank you so much in advance for any input you can give me (and for putting up with yet another "love" post )

    Riri

    PS - She is from Tessin, the italian part of Switzerland, if that makes any difference... Oh, and she's a bit shy
    Ciao Rinias!This is a very complicated situation when talking about these two expressions in a context where there are already a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It's true that most times ti voglio bene and ti amo are different but sometimes the difference may disappear. I mean that a ti voglio bene may imply a very deep feeling similar or sometimes equivalent to ti amo..maybe she is just shy as you said or maybe she doesn't feel like saying ti amo yet.
    Anyway, when does one pass from ti voglio bene to ti amo? It is an extremely personal matter.
    Valentina

  6. #26
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    Re: Ti voglio bene v. ti amo

    And to add more confusion to this complex matter, I want to mention a new usage of "Ti voglio bene" that I often heard in Salerno (south of Naples) in discussions among colleagues in a big public institution.
    In the middle of a heated debate, young and older officers would tell their opponent ".... Ti voglio bene" which means:
    "I tried hard to explain my point to you, but it seems that it didn't get across. I will try once again to explain, and please listen carefully, because I just want to share with you my opinion".
    It took me while to get it, but then...
    ALL THIS IN THREE WORDS!! It's magic!!

    Ciao

  7. #27
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    Re: Ti voglio bene v. ti amo

    (Please forgive & correct my english)

    A rare situation in which I felt LOVING people from my own country:
    ALL their answers were so honest and considerate, and their background so ...unusually similar to mine!
    (Grungeman: un graande)
    Quote Originally Posted by Grungeman View Post
    (etc)
    Interesting, nice, the nuance of consideration of the question by the male and female point of view.

    I can add something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rinias View Post
    my girlfriend seems to not like "ti amo" but prefers "ti voglio bene" or "ti voglio tanto bene."
    PS - She is from Tessin, the italian part of Switzerland
    Quote Originally Posted by onetwothreegood View Post
    Well... Was listening to a song the other night. Caruso by Andrea Bocelli... and at the start of the chorus, the lyric is 'Te vojo bene assai'.
    Years ago it happened to me to talk (directly) with this topic with old people, and they told me that in the past (we could say up to the 2nd World War) nobody would have said "ti amo" at all.
    With the "hollywood" and media globalization, something changed: people became more "melodramatic" themselves in their own affairs. Common people without modern soap operas... were more shy.
    "Amare" may be one of the verbs more frequently used in italian literature..., but I wouldn't imagine for the direct expression "Ti amo" as well, in the past, up to and including latin.
    The "Te vojo bene assai" in those days, today would be translated simply: I love you so much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Elecon View Post
    For an italian girl "Ti amo" means "You are the true love of all my life, you are the ONE".
    Today, I think that still a sort of genuine sentiment is always present in a "Ti voglio bene": I mean that it sounds polite and conscious, in any case.
    This way, a sincere male would really pay attention in using "Ti amo" before feeling something with which he is really (ready to get) involved quite enough.

    Anyway, a "luv'u" is so common all around the world nowadays, that maybe its direct translation "Ti amo" can be used just for saying "I like you a lot" in Italy too, by everybody to everyone!

    So, you HAVE TO look in the deep of the eyes...

  8. #28
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Wow!
    I'm Italian but I've read so many answers about "ti voglio bene" and "I love you" and I got confused even if I'm Italian!!!

    My English is not perfect, please correct me for any mistake, but I think everything can be really simplified.

    I would say "Ti voglio bene" only to:

    - girlfriends/boyfriends (when you want to say something important, especially in the beginning of the relationship, but not too much because it's too soon. In this stage "Ti amo" would be inappropriate)

    - close relatives such as parents, sister, grandparents ( but not too many times ;P)

    - friends who you really care about (especially girls do it, rather than men)


    I would say "Ti amo" only to:

    - your partner when the relationship is ready to step up to the next stage, you have really strong feelings for the other person.
    Never say it in the beginning of a relationship, your partner is likely to run faster than Carl Lewis or Marion Jones in that case and you will never see him/her again...!


    I hope it helps..

  9. #29
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Quote Originally Posted by daco_uk View Post
    Wow!
    I'm Italian but I've read so many answers about "ti voglio bene" and "I love you" and I got confused even if I'm Italian!!!

    My English is not perfect, please correct me for any mistake, but I think everything can be really simplified.

    I would say "Ti voglio bene" only to:

    - girlfriends/boyfriends (when you want to say something important, especially in the beginning of the relationship, but not too much because it's too soon. In this stage "Ti amo" would be inappropriate)

    - close relatives such as parents, sister, grandparents ( but not too many times ;P)

    - friends who you really care about (especially girls do it, rather than men)


    I would say "Ti amo" only to:

    - your partner when the relationship is ready to step up to the next stage, you have really strong feelings for the other person.
    Never say it in the beginning of a relationship, your partner is likely to run faster than Carl Lewis or Marion Jones in that case and you will never see him/her again...!


    I hope it helps..
    I mostly agree with your explanation, but apart from that do you agree that ti voglio bene is somewhat more intimate and passionate than ti amo, don't you? So, after all the differences between these two expressions are not so sharp, they rather overlap each other in many ways and it's quite hard to explain them clearly.
    There was a very interesting discussion above, and I think that it might be useful for non natives to grasp all the different shades of meaning.

  10. #30
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Yes federicoft, I totally agree with you, sometimes "Ti voglio bene" is more passionate and intimate than "Ti amo".

    This can happen in my opinion when a relationship has been lasting for long time and you have said "Ti amo" so many times that it has kind of lost its meaning..
    In this case, you could say "Ti voglio bene" in order to emphasize the "Ti amo".
    I know it's a bit complicated...but it's like if you were saying:
    "I love you, I always did, but this time I deeply mean it"

    Do you agree?

  11. #31
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Oh, well, I don't

    If a woman I have a long relationship with, would tell me "ti voglio bene", I would take it as a "I don't really love you like a woman loves his man, but I'm used to you, and I care about you!"
    Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. Yes is the answer.

  12. #32
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Probably it depends on how it's said...

  13. #33
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Quote Originally Posted by Saoul View Post
    Oh, well, I don't

    If a woman I have a long relationship with, would tell me "ti voglio bene", I would take it as a "I don't really love you like a woman loves his man, but I'm used to you, and I care about you!"

    I am not sure that I agree with you on this point.
    My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married next March (so obviously very much in love), and he often tells me that 'mi vuole bene'.
    I take it as a compliment.
    I suppose that the difference is that he still tells me that 'mi ama' as well, so if he were to repalce the 'ti amo' with 'ti voglio bene' and use only that form then yes... I suppose that it would mean that he is used to having me around. I guess I'd feel a bit like a comfortable pillow...
    So long as he uses both forms, I think it's rather sweet and almost adds a different level to l'amore. It is like saying - I love you, and particularly so in this moment.
    Perhaps I don't explain myself too well. What a complex language!

  14. #34
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Can ti voglio bene be used for pets or THINGS? Can the verb AMARE be used for things like things? which would you use for THINGS or Petss?

  15. #35
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    You can't really say 'ti voglio bene' to things....You can say 'IO AMO IL MIO LAVORO' ...I love my job..but you can't say 'IO VOGLIO BENE AL MIO LAVORO'..same thing...'IO AMO LA MIA MAGLETTA ROSSA'...I love my red top'...but you can't say 'IO VOGLIO BENE ALLA MIA MAGLIETTA ROSSA' - Otherway you can VOLERE BENE to your pets instead....Well...I would use AMARE e VOLER BENE for pets and just AMARE for things!!! CIAO xx

  16. #36
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    I would have thought Ti voglio bene would better translated to 'I care about you' (alot)???

  17. #37
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Quote Originally Posted by coder058 View Post
    I would have thought Ti voglio bene would better translated to 'I care about you' (alot)???
    Please take the time to read all the posts of this thread: I think it'd clear all your doubts up.

    Brevity is the soul of wit - Le persone intelligenti hanno il dono della concisione

  18. #38
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Quote Originally Posted by coder058 View Post
    I would have thought Ti voglio bene would better translated to 'I care about you' (alot)???

    Yeah! that's quite right.
    "I care about you".....I would translate 'Io tengo molto a te'...what do you guys think???
    Ti voglio bene is more....maybe 'deep'?!?!
    xxx

  19. #39
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    Quote Originally Posted by fluugy View Post
    Can ti voglio bene be used for pets or THINGS? Can the verb AMARE be used for things like things? which would you use for THINGS or Petss?
    I find this an interesting question.
    Maybe at first I could twist it, asking if the translation of "to be fond of" can be "voler bene a". I'm not sure at all. In Italian we normally use to say "essere affezionato a" a pet.
    Anyhow (this is my problem!) personally I never cared to have animal mates.
    I am really moved, very soften (can we say for that?) by all those creatures (let's hope not stumble on a crocodile, but this is another matter). Let's feed them, I believe that it's important.
    But I find difficult to widen precious reserved human feelings to them.

    Then... sometimes I kissed my motorbike!
    With a pat to its body I think "You well made!"
    But it doesn't mean anything else than "With you I felt well ...you scrap" and I feel it totally inanimate: it's just maybe an extension of me, like the best sword for the knight maybe, a magic one maybe, but just a tool (and/or toy) finally. Infine non ci "tengo" neppure così tanto.
    When does a child begin to separate love from material teddies? He cares maybe a lot for his things, but I am not so sure that he loves them, che ci voglia poi bene. It may happen one day that your best friend is your dog... But in my opinion we always distinguish, about the feeling.

    Of course we are not so accurate when we speak.
    "Vuole così bene ai suoi gatti!"
    "...Ma tu ritieni che gli voglia davvero bene? che li ami? che senta il suo cuore ...in mano a loro?"
    "Penso che ci tenga molto, che si commuova proprio, per loro: dà il nome ad ognuno ovviamente, conosce e rispetta il carattere di ognuno, non ha problemi a una certa comunicazione con loro".
    "Magari gli intesterà un'eredità, ma non credi che comunque stia provando un affetto comunque diverso, che non si può paragonare, da quello che coinvolge gli umani tra loro? Ti dirò di più: in un certo senso è come se se li fosse sposati. Ma quel voler bene resta di altra natura, e insomma se lo diciamo è per enfatizzare."
    "Mah. Io voglio bene alla mia iguana."
    ...
    ___
    (Please forgive & correct my English, thank you)

  20. #40
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    Re: Ti voglio bene vs. ti amo

    I guess the best method to understand is: ti voglio bene is the kind of love you can feel for your mother, ti amo is for your girlfriend

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