ふたりがレストランに入っていくのを盗み撮り

Discussion in '日本語 (Japanese)' started by Ukeboy, Apr 19, 2013.

  1. Ukeboy Junior Member

    Italian
    Hello everybody! I'm back, after some time without this problem. I'm getting better, even if I had little time, lately, to keep up my hobby (university... please don't eat me alive) and I now encountered another problem: can someone transcribe the text in the image below, in the link? If you want, you can give an opinion on what it could mean (frequency, it's time for some complex nonsense prose :D) as it is a text of, probably, a dream. I will eventually post a full translated text of it, just for the sake of posting :D

    Thank you all kindly for whoever will reply! I'm waiting impatiently to continue my "journey" through this sort of diary...

    Link to the picture with the text: http://i50.tinypic.com/2hhd9hz.jpg
     
  2. Hi,

    追跡

    大男ふたりが、
    レストランに入っていくのを
    盗み撮りする。
    私は極秘命令を受けて、
    証拠写真を撮りに来たのだ。
    まるで映画のセットのような
    街角を走り逃げ、
    フィルムを秘密の場所に隠し、
    金で雇った男に追手の
    追跡の時間稼ぎを頼む。

    Hope it helps :)
     
  3. frequency

    frequency Senior Member

    Tokyo, Japan
    Japanese
    Welcome back, Ukeboy! You sound doing good. Post again!
     
  4. Ukeboy Junior Member

    Italian
    Ahah, yeah, thanks!:D I'm a bit tired and stressed out, but I guess I'm fine. I just need some rest xD so, basically, I had a try with it, but I'm REEEEEEALLY unsure about it. Sounds too... clunky. Anyway, here it goes:

    Pursuit


    There is a big man,
    which goes in a restaurant.
    I secretly take pictures.
    I received a top secret instruction.
    I came to take some photograph evidence.
    Like in a film he runs off, in a small street
    an hidden location that I can film.
    I hire a pursuiter for money,
    and I ask him how much time it will take.

    ----------

    As always, I'm half confused and half amused about these texts... xD thank you Lisa!
     
  5. frequency

    frequency Senior Member

    Tokyo, Japan
    Japanese
    It's the time for you to get everything back and make it double than before! I'm happy you're getting as better as you've come up to the forum.

    Oh~ you're missing adjective ふたり. How many people are they? And select 'who' for person!:D

    You stop the sentences once:
    ~~~restaurant.
    I~~~.
    It's nice to get a poetic effect. But see,
    Two big men are going into the restaurant.
    I secretly take pictures of them.


    Or, when you want to start with 'I~',
    I secretly take pictures of two big men going into the restaurant. But not good very much..I like your way!

    From 'I received ~~' to '~~evidence', they are good. I humbly suggest you [photographic] is better.

    The rest? I'll post again!
     
  6. Ukeboy Junior Member

    Italian
    Oh! Thank you frequence, you're always an huge help for these things! They're like a sort of linguistic game, or atleast I see them like this :D anyway, that "which" was a mistake, I actually copied "who" in another sheet xD about the "how many are them" I thought it was referred to just one, I just overlooked entirely that one... I actually did this too quickly, need to focus! And I agree on the "photographic", definitely! I always try to keep that sense of vague and "poetic-like" or something like that :D doesn't always come out too good xD

    Thank you really frequence, it's always such a pleasure to post here and discuss about this! :D
     
  7. frequency

    frequency Senior Member

    Tokyo, Japan
    Japanese
    My pleasure, too. Thank you for feedback! Yes you said it's a linguistic game, especially for encouraging learners to think, read a lot.

    まるで映画のセットのような
    街角を走り逃げ、
    フィルムを秘密の場所に隠し、
    I ran through a small street
    looking like a movie set, and
    I hid a film* in a hidden(secret) location.

    *A roll of film

    The problem is..the last two=3
    追手: pursuer = I (the photograph man)
    Therefore, 追手の追跡 is my pursuit?
    And this 時間稼ぎ is not to kill time. If he kills time, then the two will lose the big men.
    I see this like, while the photograph man is hiding the film, the man hired has to follow them instead of him.

    I ask + the man I hired + 時間稼ぎ・・this 時間稼ぎ?・・I'll do 時間稼ぎ too. Give me a time!
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2013
  8. Tonky Senior Member

    Japanese
    I hope I'm not disturbing much for frequency-san's help, but here are my tips.

    Run round the street corner
    is a corner and usually translated as "street corner".

    It's a negative film here. This person took 証拠写真 and he removed the negative out of his camera to hide, so the proof would be safe even if he gets caught while running.

    I ask a man I hired with money
    To buy me time to escape pursuit.
    ...I think.
     
  9. frequency

    frequency Senior Member

    Tokyo, Japan
    Japanese
    街角, an unclear expression, includes 'town'. A street corner, town, or street like a movie set? Not a critical error: I don't want to 'poke a corner of the food container'. Small? I didn't feel the necessity for cutting it.

    Who escapes? The photograph man because he's finished photographing? Then, he needs not to ask the hired man sth after that. The sentence says 追跡, (the man's) pursuit, suggesting he needs to follow them even after photographing and hiding the film. He took photos and wants to hide the important film. But at the same time, he wants to do 追跡.

    I ask the man I hired to cover for me.
    (Or, I ask the man I hired to (take a time) to follow them until I catch up.)
    Ukeboy, as a result of my 時間稼ぎ, I select 'cover'.

    The problem is this word choice, 時間稼ぎ. Note that it doesn't always mean to cover but to take time. See what the photograph man is doing in the prose. Special Thanks: Lisa
     
  10. Tonky Senior Member

    Japanese
    I do not know what has happened before this text or will happen later, do not know where it came from, so I could be very wrong :p

    In my opinion, 追手 is not this man on the mission, but I'm only assuming from reading the part shown here.
    This man on the mission runs to escape.
    (I think a street corner would describe the scene better photographically, because when you are on the run, you would not just run down the street, but you would most likely turn a corner to narrow passages, to put the pursuer off the track, or to get to the decent hiding place for the film.)
    This man on the mission hides the film for safe keeping while running.
    This man on the mission asks someone else to earn time so the pursuer would lose him, maybe by destructing them.
    He may be seen taking the photos and may be being followed. Or he is imagining the worst case and it is his plan he is describing here. That is my take :)
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2013
  11. frequency

    frequency Senior Member

    Tokyo, Japan
    Japanese
    Yes. That certainly depends on who the pursuer is. Sorry! Possible the situation gets reversed; if the big men are chasing the photograph man after finding the secret photo-taking.
    If the pursuers are the big men, what's 彼らの追跡の時間稼ぎ?
    彼らの追跡への/に対し時間稼ぎをするように頼む、彼らの追跡から逃げれるよう時間稼ぎをするように頼む?
    I ask the man I hired to make time so that I can escape from their pursuit.
     
  12. Ukeboy Junior Member

    Italian
    Seems like this became quite funny :D

    Your translations are really appreciated, and so I think the final thing is:

    Pursuit

    Two big men go in a restaurant.
    I secretly take pictures of them.
    I received top secret instructions to take some photographic evidence.
    Then I'm running off, in a small street
    hiding in a secret location the film I took.
    I hire a man for money, to buy me time and follow them
    I ask him how much time I can get.

    Notice 1: I chose a more "cinematic" way, both because this is a text of a dream, and because in this way it's all more clear. I know it loses its "poetic" effect, somehow. But I think it will be better this way.

    Notice 2: I also prefer to think that the "pursuiter" is a placeholder for a man hired to buy the "pursuited" some time to escape. Well, I tried to preserve the ambiguity with "to buy time and follow them"... it's much more explicity the "dissonance" but I think it's the best way to translate it.

    Quite funny! I'll be back in some days, wait for me :D
     

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