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aguas pesadas, ar pesado

Discussion in 'Português (Portuguese)' started by hazelnut77, Jan 14, 2013.

  1. hazelnut77 New Member

    Tokyo
    Romanian
    Hello,

    Will native Portuguese language speakers help please?
    I am writing some song lyrics in Portuguese, and there is a stanza that goes like this:

    De aqui até o seu lugar
    Tem aguas pesadas
    E pesado é o ar.

    How does this sound? I guess it is a bit difficult to evaluate out of context but I cannot post the full text.
    I know this is not a common way of using these words, but do you feel it could work in a song/poem, or does it sound completely "out of the question"?
    Thanks a lot in advance. I so wish for this to work..
     
  2. marlosfm New Member

    Brasil
    Português, Brasil
    Hi, hazelnut77, I don't know how you want to "sound", more colloquial or more formal, but here it goes.

    My understanding is that "De aqui" could also be "Desde aqui" or "Daqui", both with same understanding as "From here". For me "de aqui" sounds a little bit weird (not colloquial, I mean).

    águas with the acute is the correct way of writing waters.

    Finally, I'd say this small excerpt is totally comprehensible. My understanding is that "águas pesadas" could refer to some river, path, etc., difficult to endure. Albeit, it is really poetic and not common to hear.
     
  3. hazelnut77 New Member

    Tokyo
    Romanian
    Hello marlosfm,

    Thanks a lot for the quick reply!
    I got your corrections/suggestions.

    I chose "de aqui" for the sake of rhythm/syllable count in the song. "Daqui" is definitely too short, but I could use "desde aqui" pronounced a bit faster if "de aqui" sounds strange.

    I was worried about águas pesadas and ar pesado, because I found they can be used as scientific terms or even with other connotations ("heavy atmosphere"), but if they suggest waters/distances hard to cross I'm perfectly happy.

    Thanks a lot!!!
     
  4. marlosfm New Member

    Brasil
    Português, Brasil
    Just complementing, hazelnut77, you could use for rhythm the following with same value:

    /de /a/qui/
    /desd'/a/qui/


    It is fine to use "desd'aqui" in music or poetry - an elision - and especially common in poetry from Portugal.
     
  5. hazelnut77 New Member

    Tokyo
    Romanian
    I see! I think that's what I' ll do.
    Thank you.
    I fell in love with this language, but there' s still a lot to learn :)
     

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