e c'era un raggio ne il suo sguardo fiso che ti giungeva al cor come uno stile

Discussion in 'Italian-English' started by Mingus2001, Feb 21, 2007.

  1. Mingus2001 New Member

    United States
    I am struggling with this line. Any ideas? thanks

    before this line is the following:

    Travolta stranamente un cupo riso
    stridea su 'l labbro pallido e sottile,


    If that helps
     
  2. arnold_84

    arnold_84 Junior Member

    Sassari
    Italy - Sardinia - Italiano!!!
    As you already know, this is old italian, moreover I suppose it's a poem so we must only interpret. The lines you've just written are, roughly, the description about a woman (I think) visage.

    I can say "Il suo sguardo fisso sembrava emanare (emettere, or so forth) un raggio di luce che arrivava al cuore (di chi lo/la guardava) come una lama"... did you get it? Or do you need a translation?
     
  3. Mingus2001 New Member

    United States
    Got it, yes that helps me. That is what I was thinking but I wanted to be sure that I wasn't creating that translation. Thanks.
     
  4. mlimon Junior Member

    USA
    Italian
    Strangely overwhelming, an obscure smile
    screeching trough her thin pale lips
    and a light burning in her glance
    reaching for your heart like a dagger

    Just an attempt, certainly someone more literary inclined can do a better job.

    Chi e' l'autore?

    Ciao, Michele
     
  5. DAH

    DAH Senior Member

    Los Angeles
    USA/California--English
    Strangely overwhelmed by a veiled smile
    screaming on the pale, soft lips
    and there was a gleam in her glance
    that she got to you like a knife in the heart
     
  6. Necsus

    Necsus Senior Member

    Formello (Rome)
    Italian (Italy)
    In un forum l'ho vista attribuita a D'Annunzio, ma non ho trovato riscontri...
     
  7. niklavjus Senior Member

    Italiano (Italia)
    Mingus2001 è già soddisfatto dalle risposte, ma ho voluto tentare lo stesso una traduzione per esercitarmi.
    Forse ho travisato il senso del verso, o non ho colto le sfumature sottese dai verbi inglesi. Di sicuro avrò con pasticciato coi tempi, ma spero che eventuali precisazioni accrescano la mia conoscenza.

    "Strangely overwhelmed, a gloomy laugh
    jarring on the
    (her) thin pale lips
    and there was a gleam in her stare
    that arrives to your heart like a stiletto.
    "


    P.S. Please, correct my English, and Italian too.
     
  8. DAH

    DAH Senior Member

    Los Angeles
    USA/California--English
    Nik: It's all good, I like it. I should have used stare instead of glance because it works the best. The only problem I have is jarring for stridere. The reason is that jarring causes a physical movement or emotional disturbance to someone, so doing either of those on the thin pale lips makes for an odd image in the mind's eye.
     
  9. niklavjus Senior Member

    Italiano (Italia)
    Ciao, DHA.
    Thank you so much for your kindly response. I'm glad you like it.

    To me the verse evokes just a sensation like a "emotional disturbance" as you said, Though I'm not sure to comprehend what you mean for "odd image". How is it: curious, funny, queer, unmatched or something else?

    Verbs like "to screech" or "to scream" are clearly referring to noise, loudness, while "to jar", seems to me, like "stridere" can takes the meaning of a "discrepancy". Therefore I thought that a "laugh" on the lips of a "Strangely overwhelmed" person is somewhat discrepant - stridente.
    Of course I am not sure on my interpretation of that verse, since I don't know the whole poem, and perhaps I misunderstand the true sense of "to jar". May be I simply mistook.

    I hope you understand my bad English; and correct me if needed.

    Ciao
     
  10. niklavjus Senior Member

    Italiano (Italia)
    News.
    The previous translations made on the words reported by Mingus2001 are wrong 'cause the correct version is:

    Talvolta stranamente un cupo riso
    stridea su 'l labbro pallido e sottile,
    e c'era un raggio ne 'l suo sguardo fiso
    che ti giungeva a 'l cor come uno stile.


    Then it is not a lugubrious verse, as appeared to me, but part of a pretty, melancholic, love poem.

    The poem which title is "Norah", belongs to the collection of poems "Primo vere", the first published by Gabriele D'Annunzio, in the 1879; at the age of sixteen.

    I will not try to translate it again, 'cause I don't want to tear down it another time.


    P.S. Please, correct my English, and Italian too.
     
  11. DAH

    DAH Senior Member

    Los Angeles
    USA/California--English
    Yes, you are quite right. I looked at the etymology of stridere and of course I agree with you. Amazing that this person wrote like this in 1879 at the age of sixteen, much like Rimbaud.
     
  12. niklavjus Senior Member

    Italiano (Italia)
    Oh. Thank you for confirm my impression about the verbs "to jar/stridere". I thought to start a thread to ask about...

    I remain surprised too, by any talented youngs. About D'Annunzio and Rimbaud though, although I am not an expert, I think that this is the only point in common they had.
     

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