Is this phrase correct?

Discussion in 'English Only' started by albertop9, Jul 26, 2005.

  1. albertop9 Senior Member

    Caesaraugusta, Hispania
    España • español
    "Would you please tell me what's the right address I should send my proposal to for his personal consideration?"

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Would you please tell me the correct address to send my proposal to for his personal consideration?

    or

    What is the correct address to which I can send my proposal for his personal consideration?

    or, more concisely

    To which address should I send my proposal (for his personal consideration)?
     
  3. modgirl Senior Member

    USA English, French, Russian
    Just a suggestion, but I'd personally say,

    What is the correct address where I can send my proposal for his personal consideration?
     
  4. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Yes, that's possible too.

    "Where" emphasizes the aspect of place.

    "To which" emphasizes the act of sending it by mail.
     
  5. modgirl Senior Member

    USA English, French, Russian
    Better yet: I'd like to send my proposal for his personal consideration; would you please give me the correct address?
     
  6. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Some suggestions on my part:

    I would like to send in my proposal for his personal consideration; would you please give me the correct address?

    this is probably a formal inquiry

    sounds better with "in"
     
  7. modgirl Senior Member

    USA English, French, Russian
    I agree; the in sounds better! However, the would sounds a bit stiff, in my opinion. Old-style books say never to use contractions in formal writing; however, if they aren't overused, I think most find them acceptable and a bit more friendly.
     
  8. albertop9 Senior Member

    Caesaraugusta, Hispania
    España • español
    Wow… I'm gonna have to study this!
    THANKS A LOT guys! :)
     
  9. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Call me old-fashioned if you want, but I punctiliously stick to the no-contractions-in-formal-writing rule. ;)
     
  10. modgirl Senior Member

    USA English, French, Russian
    Completely depending on the circumstances, though, you may be giving a message you may or may not care to give! Writing with absolutely no contractions can be a very stiff style, thus suggesting that you are either 1) not flexible, or 2) unwilling to change with the times, or 3) uncomfortably stiff in your style. I'm not saying those are absolutes at all! But, you may want to consider your audience when never writing contractions.
     
  11. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Let's just say I consider the register more fastidiously than I do the audience. :)

    I would sincerely hope that my style wouldn't be dubbed "stiff" when I'm just trying to write in keeping with the register! :(
     
  12. modgirl Senior Member

    USA English, French, Russian
    Elroy, to use an extremely colloquial (but very bad grammatically) phrase: if it ain't broke, don't fix it! I didn't mean to criticize. If what you've been writing is working well for you, then there's no reason to change it!
     
  13. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Well, there would be if it were suffering from the possible problems you listed.

    I guess the question was whether it is indeed "broke." ;) You think it might be (sometimes); don't think it is. I get your point clearly. Thanks for the suggestion!

    (Now let's try to get back on topic. ;))
     

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