Discussion in 'English Only' started by huskydog, May 2, 2011.

  1. huskydog Senior Member

    English - Great Britain
    If there's an activity you enjoy doing but you suddenly get on the wrong side of the person who's involved in organising it, could the following sentence sum up that dilemma?

    "How could I have jeopardised those pursuits which I look upon with abundant tenderness!"

    Thanks for any help.
  2. envie de voyager Senior Member

    Niagara Falls, Canada
    Sounds a little too flowery for me, like something from Dickens or maybe Shakespeare.
  3. Parla Senior Member

    New York City
    English - US
    You give your native language as English, but you don't give a location. What "brand" of English do you speak? This would not be said in US English, nor would it be said by any of the British or Australian people I know.
  4. huskydog Senior Member

    English - Great Britain
    Hi guys. Thanks for the replies. Just got back around to viewing the thread. I'm in the UK. I agree it's a little flowery, but these activities - like mixed-wrestling for instance - were dearly enjoyed by me.
  5. owlman5

    owlman5 Senior Member

    From what I've seen of your writing, Husky Dog, you have a style and you're true to it. You sure as hell don't write like Hemingway, but that's OK. If "jeopardised those pursuits" and "abundant tenderness" flow naturally from your pen, then I don't think you should hesitate to use them. If you find yourself straining too hard for effect, then you're probably not writing naturally.
    Last edited: May 3, 2011
  6. huskydog Senior Member

    English - Great Britain
    Hi Owlman :)

    Your comments are much appreciated. I concur that it's best to write in a fashion that springs forth naturally otherwise what results on paper may appear forced and insincere. I probably do try a little too hard at times so I must give that some thought.


  7. Hermione Golightly

    Hermione Golightly Senior Member

    SW London
    British English
    You asked about the use of jeopardise, not "abundant tenderness". I had already decided to have synchronised swimming as the activity for my examples so I'll stick to that.

    This might seem like nit-picking, but it is not the sport itself that has been jeopardised by your getting on the wrong side of the organiser, but your future participation in it, or your future enjoyment of it.

    The committee's new ruling that swimmers must wear transparent swim suits has jeopardised the future of synchronised swimming.
    Your chances of being chosen for the team will be seriously jeopardised by your refusal to shave under your arms.
    I've jeopardised my chances of being chosen for the team by falling out with the trainer.

    I'll just say this: If you are using a thesaurus, please chuck it out. "There is no such thing as a synonym", quote my dad. It's admirable to seek to improve one's use of one's own language but it's not necessarily very easy. Write as you would speak with due regard for "register", or, 'the right word in the right place'.

    All the best

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