Mettersi insieme

Discussion in 'Italian-English' started by Ludo87, May 26, 2008.

  1. Ludo87 Junior Member

    Padova
    Italian
    How do you say in English "mettersi insieme"? I mean the exact moment in which you decide you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend with someone.

    Thank you!
     
  2. Paulfromitaly

    Paulfromitaly MODerator

    Brescia (Italy)
    Italian
    Puoi dire "to get together".
     
  3. Maltese Senior Member

    Malta
    Malta. Maltese and English
    Ciao Ludo87,

    You can also say "started dating" or "started seeing him/her" or "started seeing each other".

    For example you could say "they started dating last Christmas".
     
  4. Paulfromitaly

    Paulfromitaly MODerator

    Brescia (Italy)
    Italian

    Mettersi insieme
    is something you do after dating the other person for a while.
     
  5. giovannino

    giovannino Senior Member

    Italy
    Italian
    What about "become an item"? I see it used in magazines but I have no idea if it's used in conversation.
     
  6. seawaves Senior Member

    Cremona
    Italian
    In my opinion,I see "to date" as "frequentare" and I think it is different from "mettersi insieme". I would say "get together", probably.

    Sara
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2008
  7. london calling Senior Member

    SALERNO, ITALY
    UK ENGLISH
    We used to say:
    To start going out with someone
     
  8. Paulfromitaly

    Paulfromitaly MODerator

    Brescia (Italy)
    Italian
    I don't know if we mean something different here, but as I see it

    Incominciare ad uscire insieme means start dating someone regularly, with a big chance to get eventually together.

    Mettersi insieme means to get together, that is to decide to be a couple in a stable relationship.
     
  9. london calling Senior Member

    SALERNO, ITALY
    UK ENGLISH
    Yes, Paul, quite right!;)

    Mettersi insieme, "to be a couple in a stable relationship is", I think, the equivalent of the AE expression "to go steady" and I agree it's different from incominciare ad uscire insieme, "to start going out with someone"....
     
  10. SoCalMezzo Senior Member

    Southern California
    English - American
    "go steady" is the right meaning, but sounds a bit "old" now...very popular in the 1950s.
    Today, you might say, "we're seeing each other exclusively"...it's not as efficient as "go steady", unfortunately, but more current.
     
  11. london calling Senior Member

    SALERNO, ITALY
    UK ENGLISH
    Thanks, but if you read the original question, they weren't asking that! ;)

    This "go steady" business was brought up for clarification: have a look at the original post and see what you'd say in AE for "mettersi insieme".....

    Bye!
    Jo
     
  12. Katydid Junior Member

    Kansas
    United States (AE)
    Maybe, "We decided to see each other exclusively" or "It became serious."
     
  13. SoCalMezzo Senior Member

    Southern California
    English - American
    That is what I meant... for "mettersi insieme" in the sense of "the exact moment in which you decide you want to become boyfriend and girlfriend with someone" I would say "now seeing each other exclusively". Otherwise, it would just be "get together", which doesn't really get the meaning.
     
  14. Ludo87 Junior Member

    Padova
    Italian
    So you don't actually have an expression for that precise act? I mean, if you don't have a way for saying it, it also mean that you can not propose it to someone.

    Like, if you have been dating a guy for a while and you decide you want to get serious with him, how do you tell him? Meaning, from now on we are no longer friends but boyfriend and girlfriend.

    And then, if it is not a precise moment, you can't have a sort of "anniversary" of the couple, right? you can just say that you've been dating that guy for 2 years, no matter if the first 6 months you didn't even kiss him.
     
  15. SoCalMezzo Senior Member

    Southern California
    English - American
    Sorry if this is disappointing, I don't know of any better way to say it! :)

    Some couples do keep track of the day they "became serious" or decided they were "not just friends anymore". The issue never arose with my husband...from the first date, it was clear to the both of us that we were "exclusive", because we had already been friends for several years before we started dating. However, if I had needed or wanted to make a statement, I could have said, "So, are we seeing each other exclusively?", or "I would like this relationship to be exclusive, do you agree with that?" Believe me, an American guy will know exactly what a young woman means if she uses the word "exclusive".

    Like I said, I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anything better I could offer you. Perhaps in Britain or Australia they have a better term or phrase to convey the full meaning of "mettersi insieme", but I wouldn't know. I hope you find what you're looking for. :)
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2008
  16. london calling Senior Member

    SALERNO, ITALY
    UK ENGLISH
    Hello!

    We'd say "to start going out with someone", or "to start seeing someone", I think (!), i.e. the moment in which you decide to TRY being a couple: if an American said "to start dating someone", would that mean the same, or as Paul suggests, does it come before "mettersi insieme"? (Personally, I wouldn't say "to date someone" at all in BE, but it may have slipped into British usage!)

    Thanks again!;)
    Jo
     
  17. You little ripper! Senior Member

    Australia
    Australian English
    In Australia going steady (Jo's suggestion) and became an item (giovannino's) conveys mettersi insieme. Seriously dating is another.
     
  18. edfnl

    edfnl Senior Member

    Italy
    italian
    Well, it seems to me that if you go out with someone than he is your boyfriend.... is it right? :p If I say to my boyfriend that "tonight I'm going out with XY" he might get mad!
    I think there are many misunderstandable meanings °_°
     
  19. Paulfromitaly

    Paulfromitaly MODerator

    Brescia (Italy)
    Italian
    That's not true.
    You can go out with your male friends too.

    From my point of view (male last time I checked..)

    Conoscere una ragazza = Meet a girl.
    Dare un'appuntamento ad una ragazza = Go out on a date with a girl.
    Uscire con una ragazza regolarmente/freqentare = Go out with a girl, always the same girl, on a regular basis.
    Mettersi insieme = Decide to be a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend, in a stable relationship (commitment)
    I don't know if we still make a distinction between mettersi insieme e fidanzarsi (be fiancee, get engaged )
     
  20. london calling Senior Member

    SALERNO, ITALY
    UK ENGLISH
    To me, to get engaged is fidanzarsi , which is what a young cousin of mine did recently AND she got an engagement ring!

    By the way some people write fiancéd...
     
  21. rmmiller Junior Member

    USA
    English - US
    This is a good question because it's something that is very difficult to ask in English! Here are a few ways that I would use:

    What do you think about being exclusive?
    What do you think about not seeing other people?

    It's a really hard thing to ask! I think usually there's not a definite moment. I find that usually, someone in the relationship (maybe accidentally) uses the word "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" and the other person says "Oh! So, we're using the words "boyfriend/girlfriend" now?"

    How would you ask a person to be your exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend in Italian? "Vorresti mettersi insieme?" Is it OK to be that direct?
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2008
  22. Lucy Van Pelt Senior Member

    Florence, Italy
    Italian


    The question would be: "vuoi/vorresti metterti con me/ insieme a me"?

    But, to be sincere, I think that this kind of question is perhaps mostly used among teen-agers (at least it was when I was younger - usually teen-agers spoke with friends to be sure that the boy/girl they liked returned feelings, too. Then, they asked this question to their beloved).

    In my opinion a grown-up person would never use this question.
     
  23. SoCalMezzo Senior Member

    Southern California
    English - American
    In America, you can definitely "date" many different people at the same time, if you are not "exclusive" with any one of them. "Dating" often describes this phase...it's something like "trying out" different people. To add to the confusion, though, some people also use "started dating" to mean that moment of becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. The expression "going steady" was ideal for distinguishing that moment, but it is very old-fashioned and never used anymore. At the risk of being a bit philosophical, the "gray area" we have now is somewhat reflective of the "Sex and the City" mentality. :eek: You can date different people, and even be intimate with any number of them, and still not be exclusive. I'm not saying that this is what a great number of people actually do, but it is definitely a current cultural phenomenon. I'm so glad I'm not dating (or whatever) anymore! :D
     
  24. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    Hello everybody.... I have a question.
    I would like to translate the sentence
    "Grazie per non esserti messa insieme a me quell'estate..."

    Of course it's just a joke, something ironic about a girl that didn't get together with a friend of mine..even if he didn't try so much! :) but it's funny to remember it...
    .. i would translate like this

    "Thank you for not having got together with me that summer.. "
    or
    "Thank you for not being together with me that summer.. "
    or
    "Thank you for didn't accept me as boyfriend with me that summer.. "

    .. i think the first is more correct. Any suggestions?

    Thank you!
     
  25. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    to get together means to meet up.

    I would say: Thanks for not going out with me last summer. or
    Thanks for refusing to be my boyfriend
     
  26. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    Thank you Ms_researcher for the quick answer! :)

    Is there a way to say it without say "girlfriend"? .... actually they have never thought to become a couple... just to say "stare insieme" or "mettersi insieme"
     
  27. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    Thanks for not spending any time with me last summer.
     
  28. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    Mmm this is good... but actually they spent a lot of time together, but just as friends.... I know it's quite complicated! :-D :-D :-D
     
  29. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    I think I 'll give up :)
    last try:
    Thanks for spending a lot of time with me without fancying me.../and for not asking me out/for not being interested in going out with me
     
  30. gmambart Senior Member

    italian
    Thank you for not getting engaged with me that summer..
     
  31. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    get engaged means to plan on getting married
     
  32. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    :) :)
    it's 2 days I am thinking on! :)
    However thank you a lot! you gave me a lot of interesting suggestions!

    I think
    "Thanks for spending a lot of time with me without being interested in going out with me"
    it's very close in what I want to say!

    Cheers!
     
  33. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    I didn't want to say boyfriend, engaged or relationship, but i think you can't express this without using them..... so what about

    "Thank you for not having started a relationship with me last Summer"

    Does it sound weird?
     
  34. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    'thank you for not starting a relationship with me last summer'
     
  35. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    Thank you for the correction! :)
    Why it is not correct to use a past ing form here?

    For example, is it correct saying:

    "Thank you for having cooked for us...."
     
  36. gmambart Senior Member

    italian
    Also in italian, maybe I didn't understant What "mettersi insieme" means in this context.
     
  37. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    I mean

    "mettersi insieme solo come coppietta senza avere piani per matrimoni o cose simili. Solo avere la ragazza"
     
  38. L'equilibrista Senior Member

    Terni - Italy
    Italian
    "thank you for not having had an affair/fling/flirtation with me that summer"
     
  39. Alxmrphi Senior Member

    Reykjavík, Ísland
    UK English
    to get together also means 'to hook up', to start a relationship etc.
     
  40. Ms researcher Senior Member

    UK
    Bavarian Dialect
    It is not useful to use 'get together' here since it is ambiguous.
     
  41. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    GREAT! this is a good solution! Is it common saying affair?
     
  42. Overflow Junior Member

    Italian
    So.. can I say
    "to get together"
    to indicate just only dating... without marriage?
     
  43. Alxmrphi Senior Member

    Reykjavík, Ísland
    UK English
    Yep, you sure can.

    [Edit] - Ms_r.... we use the idea of being in a relationship a lot more than meeting up with 'to get together'.
     
  44. neuromatico

    neuromatico Senior Member

    Toronto
    English (Canadian)
    I think Alex's "hook up" is the most appropriate, providing you're looking for something colloquial.

    As usual, context is everything, as it could refer to a casual meeting, a romantic relationship, or a one-time sexual encounter.

    "Thanks for not hooking up with me last summer."
     
  45. rafanadal Senior Member

    Asti, Piemonte
    ITALIANO
    What about this situation:
    "Sono ancora convinto che ci metteremo insieme".

    Said by a grown up man (mid forties) to a grown up (mid forties) woman after they have known each other for ages, had different walks of life, kept seeing each other though, and deep inside they still think that there might be a chance...

    "I'm still persuaded that we will (get together?)"
     
  46. You little ripper! Senior Member

    Australia
    Australian English
    I'm still convinced that eventually we'll end up together.
     
  47. rafanadal Senior Member

    Asti, Piemonte
    ITALIANO
    Thanks Charles.
     

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