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mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen (sic)

Discussion in 'Nederlands (Dutch)' started by suma, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. suma Senior Member

    USA
    English, USA
    en mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !!

    I stumbled upon this and I assume its Dutch. I was thrilled that I could make it out. Did I get it right? It says: and my grandmother has 2 testicles!! 100% growth hormone!!
     
  2. NewtonCircus Senior Member

    Singapore
    Dutch (Belgium)
    Dag Suma,

    This is very coarse language. My advice is not to use such phrases.

    The word teeltballen does not exist in my opinion and is either a typo or a pun in the sentence. Context is required to make sense of it.

    Groetjes Herman
     
  3. bibibiben

    bibibiben Senior Member

    Amsterdam
    Dutch - Netherlands
    I don't understand your comment, NewtonCircus. Kloten or ballen may be vulgar words, but teelballen is a perfectly acceptable synonym for testikels. If someone's grandma, by some quirk of nature, happens to have testicles, I wouldn't discourage this person to say, "En mijn moeder heeft twee teelballen!" I would use fewer exclamation marks, though. (And check with grandma if it's allowed to reveal her secret.)
     
  4. NewtonCircus Senior Member

    Singapore
    Dutch (Belgium)
    Dag bibibiben,

    I don't know of I'm the only one but I would. I can't imagine someone using such language, except maybe in 'Louis-Paul-Boon-style' literature.

    Groetjes Herman
     
  5. suma Senior Member

    USA
    English, USA
    Well I don't speak Dutch at all.
    I was just asking was my guess at translating correct? Since it looked so much like English?
     
  6. NewtonCircus Senior Member

    Singapore
    Dutch (Belgium)
    Dag suma,

    That depends on what is meant by teeltballen. The Dutch word for testicles is spelled as teelballen instead of teeltballen, and if it is indeed a misspelling your translation "your grandma has (two) balls" as in testicles, would be correct.

    The confusion comes however from the use of twee and teeltballen. Since the Dutch word for cultivation is teelt, depending on the context is not that hard to imagine that grandma is just planting tulips :) with two "cultivation bulbs", albeit expressed in a somewhat suggestive way.

    Groetjes Herman
     
  7. bibibiben

    bibibiben Senior Member

    Amsterdam
    Dutch - Netherlands
    Yes, your translation is completely correct. Dutch is a member of the West Germanic family tree, just like English, so there are quite some similarities. There are quite a few differences as well, as the English language has been exposed to Romance influences much more than Dutch. Not all sentences will be easy for you to translate, I’m afraid.

    Teeltballen is a not so uncommon misspelling (or rather mispronunciation) for teelballen.

    Apart from it being unlikely, the word should have been teelbollen in that case. I’d say there’s no confusion at all.


    This would be rude, vulgar or coarse: Me grootje heb klote an d’r lijf hangen.
    This is just a neutral statement: Mijn grootmoeder heeft twee teelballen.

    You seem to imply that any conversation about genitals (using the correct medical terms) is rude or vulgar. I beg to differ. Not that I would talk about grandma’s sensitive secret to whomever I happen to see. No doubt Suma will be aware of that as well. Well, unless he or she is a five-year-old.
     
  8. NewtonCircus Senior Member

    Singapore
    Dutch (Belgium)
    Dag bibibiben,

    Unless the TS reveals the context, there is no way to be 100% sure.

    No, I don't. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I really don't see how mijn grootmoeder heeft 2 teeltballen !!!!!!!!!!!!100% groeihormoon !! would be appropriate in a conversation with a M.D. Most would probably burst into laughter :).

    Let's agree we disagree.

    Groetjes Herman
     
  9. bibibiben

    bibibiben Senior Member

    Amsterdam
    Dutch - Netherlands
    Dag NewtonCircus,

    Bulb = (bloem)bol, never bal. So teeltbal, which is clearly either a misspelling or a mispronunciation, can never be interpreted as (cultivation) bulb.But what if teeltbol or teelbol was the intended word? Not likely at all, as those words don’t even exist. So yes, we can be 100% sure.

    Still, mijn grootmoeder heeft twee teelballen is in itself a neutral expression. You know that. Suma, whom I expect to be a grown-up person from planet Earth, doesn’t need to be told to be easy on the exclamation points, not to blurt out stuff without giving any context or discuss any subject with any person he meets. What non-native speakers will need to know, though, is if words or expressions have undesirable connotations, cannot be freely used, have fallen out of use, are considered vulgar etc. For example, teelballen is interchangeable with testikels and is a safe word to use, kloten is not.

    Let’s first make sure that we’re talking about the same thing before agreeing to disagree.
     
  10. AllegroModerato Senior Member

    Amsterdam
    Dutch (Netherlands)
    Correct. Any other interpretation would be a stretch. The growth hormone as well as the amount clearly suggest we´re dealing with testicles here.
     

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