Urdu to English, Persian, and Arabic: congratulations song

Discussion in 'Indo-Iranian Languages' started by Alfaaz, Apr 28, 2013.

  1. Alfaaz Senior Member

    English
    Background:

    مبارک تمہیں ، خوشی کا یہ سماں
    !مبارک! مبارک! تمہیں یہ کہکشاں
    سلامت رہو ، رہو تم جہاں
    !سلامت! سلامت! رہو شادماں
    سہیل راناؔ

    mubaarak tumheiN, khushi kaa yeh samaa
    mubaarak! mubaarak! tumheiN yeh kahkashaaN!
    salaamat raho, raho tum jahaaN
    salaamat! salaamat! raho shaadmaaN!
    Sohail Rana~


    Questions: Since there are great translators in this forum, how could the song be translated into English (Persian and Arabic for comparison)?

    • Specifically, how could the phrase مبارک تمہیں in مبارک تمہیں یہ کہکشاں be translated?
      • What words would be appropriate for کہکشاں here...a literal or figurative translation?
    • Lastly, are there other popular poems in any of the languages for highlighting a joyous occasion?
     
    Last edited: Apr 28, 2013
  2. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    Alfaaz SaaHib, "samaaN". Are you asking people to translate this into Persian and Arabic? They will need to know Urdu, if this is the case.
     
  3. Alfaaz Senior Member

    English
    Interestingly, Platts has this.
    Mainly into English, but if Persian and Arabic are possible, that would be interesting. As mentioned in the OP: (Persian and Arabic for comparison). In this thread, Faylasoof Saahib and you were generous to provide translations in multiple languages, so I included the languages here as well.
     
  4. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    Cherish this ambience of joy
    Cherish and relish this galaxy
    Stay safe wherever you be
    Stay safe, secure and happy

    And a humble effort in Persian although the lines may not be quite correct!

    dar iin xush-zamaan farhaan baashiid
    shumaa-raa iin kah-kashaan baashiid
    salaamat baashiid har kujaa baashiid
    salaamat salaamat shadmaan bashiid

     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2013
  5. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    Nice translation and rhyme.
    I'm not sure if فرحان is used in Persian. If you want to keep the rhyme you may use خوش خوشان and شادمان.
    The second line is sacrificed for the rhyme, brutally:). Based on your English translation, here is my addition:
    در این خوش زمان شادمان باشید dar īn xosh-zamān shādemān bāshīd
    خوش خوشان در این کهکشان باشید xosh-xoshān dar īn kahkeshān bāshīd
    هر کجا هستید در امان باشید/ در امان باشید هر کجا هستید dar amān bāshīd har kojā hastīd
    فرحناک و امن و امان باشید farahnāk o amn o amān bāshīd
     
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2013
  6. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    ^ Thank you aaqaa-ye-Treaty. I like your version especially the amn-o-amaan, which we use in Urdu too. Can we avoid the repitition of "amaan"? Also, I don't quite follow "xush-xushaan". How would you translate this in English?

    Re: farHaan, I was looking for a word that meant "happy" and ended in "-aan". Apart from the Persian "shaadmaan", I could n't think of anything else but the Arabic "farHaan".
     
  7. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    That's why I suggested to use dar amaan at the beginning of the third verse (the rhyme won't be a problem as a typical chahar-beyti doesn't follow the rhyme in the third verse).

    You can use sar-xhoshaan سرخوشان or del-xoshaan دلخوشان instead of xosh-xoshaan. I think they are better and clearer though they are plural. At first, I wanted to suggest xosh o xorram but it didn't fit in the tone.
     
  8. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    ^ Thank you. The original Urdu is not a rubaa3ii (chahaar-baitii as you put it) and I was trying to follow its rhyme scheme. The rhyming words are "samaaN" (atmosphere), "kah-kashaaN", "jahaaN" (where) and "shaadmaaN", all ending in a nasal nuun.
     
  9. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    Sorry, I wrote chahar-beyti! There's not such a thing. I meant do-beytii. I confused it with chahaar mesra'ii (robaa'ee). What about this one for the third verse:
    har kojaa'iid aasudeh jaan baashiid
    aasudeh jan means "feeling safe and comfortable".
     
  10. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    Excellent suggestion. So, if I may present our combined effort.

    dar iin xush-zamaan shaadmaan baashiid
    xush-xushaan iin kah-kashaan baashiid

    har kujaa hastiid aasuudahjaan baashiid
    faraHnaak baashiid amn-o-amaan bashiid
     
  11. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    Excellent!
    Only on issue: I've checked xosh-xoshaan with my friends. They told me it means closer to gradually and smoothly rather than happily. I think sar-xoshaan or del-xoshaan are much better.
     
  12. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    Just a thought aaqaa-ye-Treaty. What about putting in "baraayataan"? This would be closer to the original Urdu.

    dar iin xush-zamaan shaadmaan baashiid
    baraayataan hamah kahkashaan baashiid
    har kujaa hastiid aasuudah-jaan baashiid
    faraHnaak baashiid amn-o-amaan bashiid
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2013
  13. Alfaaz Senior Member

    English
    Thanks for the great Persian translation QURESHPOR and Treaty SaaHibaan! It even seems to fit the original melody! Would mubaarak not be used in this sense in Persian, or was it just not fitting into the whole scheme...?
    Was this meant to be a loose translation QP SaaHib? It seems to convey a slightly different meaning (cherish and relish) than the original.

    This probably isn't the best choice of words, but here's a humble attempt that was in mind:
    Congratulations to you, this moment/time/occasion of joy/pleasure/happiness/euphory/felicity
    Congratulations! Congratulations! to you (for) this (glistening/splendid) galaxy
    Remain safe/secure, wherever you may be
    Safe/Live long/In peace and prosperity/Tranquil! Safe! Remain happy!
     
  14. marrish Senior Member

    اُردو Urdu
    What a lovely rendition into Persian! A real gem.
     
  15. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    I know what you mean Alfaaz SaaHib. I am not happy with it either. I am not certain if "mubaarak" implies "blessed" or "congratulations", hence my difficulty in finding a suitable equivalent for the sense in the poem.
     
  16. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    Sorry for being late in replying. I don't think it is good idea, basically the sentence doesn't make sense. Its meaning would be "for you all you're galaxy".

    You can also use "mubaarak" but your verses will become too long.
    I have another suggestion for the whole rhyme:
    مبارک باد این خجسته زمان بر شما
    mobaarak baad iin xojaste zaman bar shomaa
    گوارایتان باد این کهکشان و سما
    govaarayetaan baad iin kahkeshaan o samaa
    سلامت باشید گر هستید در هر کجا
    salaamat baashiid gar hastiid dar har kojaa
    فرحناک و امن و به دور از بلا
    farahnaak o amn o beh door az balaa
     
  17. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    ^ aaqaa-ye-Treaty, thank you for your alternative version. It is indeed very good and can count as another option.

    The meaning I was taking from my second line "baraayataan hamah kahkashaan baashiid" was "May the whole galaxy be for you/yours!" Am I wrong in thinking this?
     
  18. Treaty Senior Member

    Australia
    Persian
    baash+iid is the 2nd person plural imperative. In the case of "may be" for 3rd person (the galaxy) you should use baash+ad. However, you can use something like "you shall be the owner of the whole galaxy" : saaheb e hameh kahkeshaan baashiid.
     
  19. Qureshpor Senior Member

    Punjabi, Urdu پنجابی، اردو
    Thank you. What I had in mind was second person subjunctive.

    baasham/baashiim

    baashii/baashiid

    baashad/baashand

    But you are absolutely right. For the subject "hamah kahkashaan", the verb ought to be "baashad". Would this do, taking into account your suggestion but with a slight difference.

    dar iin xush-zamaan shaadmaan baashiid
    saaHib-i-hamah-ye-kahkashaan baashiid
    har kujaa hastiid aasuudah-jaan baashiid
    faraHnaak baashiid amn-o-amaan bashiid
     

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