The subject line throws me off. Here's the context (from the entry for braten in the Duden Redewendungen volume (2008)): Wenn man dreißig und noch nicht verheiratet oder verlobt ist, brat mir einer 'nen Storch, wenn da alles seine Ordnung hat (Borell, Romeo 70). How would one translate the highlighted bit? Thanks! PS: to my non-native "ear", the "wenn ..., wenn..." construction sounds hilariously clumsy, maybe because it reminds me of Groucho Marx's If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham. I wonder if conveys the same effect to the native "ear".