word starts with c

Discussion in 'English Only' started by suspensefullife, Nov 13, 2005.

  1. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Looking for a word that starts with "c" and describes how one person feels about another, which may be followed by "of" or "over". The word will indicate a distinct lack of emotional attachment. It approximates how you feel when you learn your second cousins' wifes' mother is ill.
     
  2. nycphotography

    nycphotography Senior Member

    I do be learnin stuff
    John-Paul Miller, NYC
    unconcerned?

    callous
    cool
    colorless

    generally: apathetic, distant, emotionless, indifferent
     
  3. *Cowgirl*

    *Cowgirl* Senior Member

    USA English
    careless?

    You wouldn't happen to be doing a crossword puzzle would you?
     
  4. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    The first word that came to mind was "callous," but that can't be followed by "of" or "over," can it?
     
  5. *Cowgirl*

    *Cowgirl* Senior Member

    USA English
    I don't think so.
     
  6. babdiaz Junior Member

    US (English)
    how about coldhearted?
     
  7. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA

    No, writing a short story. I had a boyfriend who said this to me once, and the minute he said it, I knew the relationship was over. It would equate more to "fond regard". All I remember is telling myself before falling asleep after he said it to remember C O, and I would remember the exact words, but now I'm racking my brains and it just won't come.

    Thanks.
     
  8. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    "Fond regard" and "distinct lack of emotional attachment" seem to be too very different things -- am I missing something? :confused:
     
  9. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Not really. When a person I was very much in love with used this particular phrase in expressing concern for me, (which I am racking my brain and reading the entire "C" letter of the Webster's Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary to find), I remember my immediate response was that it was not something you said about someone you loved. It was something you said to describe your attachment to a distant relative you met once at a family reunion when you were in the fourth grade. "Fond" is probably too strong a word for comparison.
     
  10. Aud Duck Senior Member

    Illinois, USA
    English--United States
    I haven't got any word suggestions, but do consider the possibility that it doesn't start with a "C." Sometimes, when that happens to me, I find that the word I was looking for didn't start with the letter I just KNEW it started with.

    Please post the answer if it ever comes to you. I don't think I know of any words with that definition, and it sounds very useful.
     
  11. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    That, my new Word Reference friend, is a depressing thought. Do you know how many words are in this stinking dictionary?????
     
  12. babdiaz Junior Member

    US (English)
    concern, consciousness, consideration, connection, cogitation, contemplation, considerateness, constancy, coolness, insouciance (it has a c in it!)...best I can do for now. it's back to work for me. thanks for letting me procrastinate a little.

    wait, is it a noun? adjective? verb?
     
  13. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    I thought of "cognizance" - as in, "I am cognizant of your troubles" - but that seems too detached and doesn't seem to fit the context with the ill distant relative.

    Suspense - I don't mean to pry into your personal life, but is there any more context you could share? Do you remember the sentence he said? Part of it? Of course, don't share anything that's too personal; but the more context you provide, the more likely we are to be able to help you.
     
  14. foxfirebrand

    foxfirebrand Senior Member

    The Northern Rockies
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    Cordial?
    Compatible?
    My little cauliflower blossom?
    .
     
  15. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Thanks for the laugh. I'm going to bed now. Maybe I will dream the answer.
     
  16. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Can't be too private if I'm trying to weave it into a short story. Anyway.

    Here is the jist of it:

    A few months ago I was flying from Florida to Ohio, via Philly. I had been to FL to visit a girlfriend and the visit turned out to be horrific and depressing for reasons that are not really relevant to the rest of the story. I was really sad on the flight to Philly and decided I did not want to spend any more time in an airplane with strangers. So I rented a car and started driving, on what later turned out to be a 575 mile road trip. I ended up stopping outside Pittsburgh and driving the second half of the trip the following morning. My boyfriend was also traveling at the time, so we did not talk until I was driving the second leg of the trip. When I explained what had happened in FL and about renting the car to drive home, I told him "I'm just not ready to get back to my life."

    The next evening we were talking and he asked "How's your head?"

    "Fine, why?"

    "It really bothers me that you drove back from Philly without knowing how long the drive would be."

    "I love to drive, and it helped me to take the time alone to figure out what to do about (my friend in FL)."

    "OK, then."

    End of conversation for the moment. Later that evening, right as we were getting to sleep, I asked him why it worried him that I drove home from Philly. He knows I love to drive and often just take off on day trips to "get lost" and find new places.

    His reply: (I'm trying to get as close to the actual words as possible here, so bear with me)

    It really worried me when you said "I'm not ready to get back to my life." It sounded like you had fallen into a dark hole.

    Me: I was in a dark hole a for three months last year (job change, sick mother, etc.) but this was just a day and a drive. I'm fine. But thanks for your concern. That is really sweet.

    Him: Well, I just didn't want to see that happen to someone I (or I'm) C O. (the words I cannot remember).

    I did not respond, because whatever those words were (which I swear I almost got out of bed to write down) my very visceral internal response was "Wow, this is really over. That is something you would say to express your feeling for a cousin you met once 20 years ago at a family reunion."

    It officially ended three weeks later.

    There, more context than you ever wanted.

    Thanks. Let me know if you come up with anything.
     
  17. daviesri Senior Member

    Houston, TX
    USA English
    Now that I have seen how it was supposedly used, I am going to have to agree with Aud Duck in saying, "Are you sure it started with a c?"
     
  18. Amityville

    Amityville Senior Member

    France
    English UK
    This is it Suspenseful, I knew from the first post. He didn't want to see it to happen to someone he cared for. It's not that bad, you know.
     
  19. Concerned over?

    Contemptous of (obviously that's not it, but...)

    Concerned for (but that's not CO)...



     
  20. nycphotography

    nycphotography Senior Member

    I do be learnin stuff
    John-Paul Miller, NYC
    Perhaps you'd have more luck with a thesaurus. <wink>
     
  21. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Connected with?
    Correlated with?
     
  22. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Oh, I have tried that. Then I just spent hours on a website called visualthesaurus.com

    For a person who loves words, these things are like a drug.

    But I found this site, and I love it. I may never remember the word but I have enjoyed meeting all of you. Thanks.

    Little cauliflower
     
  23. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    I know I'm not expressing myself well, and when I finally do think of the word, I promise to post it in big bold letters. Cared for would imply a higher level of personal attachment than what he said.
     
  24. suzi br

    suzi br Senior Member

    Stoke on Trent
    England and English
    are you sure it wasn't just "care for"? or "concerned about"?
     
  25. foxfirebrand

    foxfirebrand Senior Member

    The Northern Rockies
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    Cognizant of? Or is that too far down the emotional scale?
    .
     
  26. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    Since my suggestion of that in post #13 did not elicit a cry of triumph, I fear that we are no closer to pinpointing that elusive description of emotional detachment.

    Unless, of course, she didn't notice it the first time...
     
  27. foxfirebrand

    foxfirebrand Senior Member

    The Northern Rockies
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    I guess you did suggest "I am cognizant of your troubles." I was thinking of an expression of cognizance that she even exists.
    .
     
  28. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    I'm beginning to think I made the whole thing up. I have read all the posts and none of them ring a bell, though cognizant is a close approximation to the level of emotional attachment, I'm not sure my friend has ever used that word in a sentence.

    Still searching the dictionary.

    PS. I've decided that I wish he had said "my little cauliflower" as it would have indicated more affection!
     
  29. Walker New Member

    GB English
    After suffering through the TIME-CONSUMING registration process especially for you -

    The word you are looking for simply MUST be:

    "comfortable" (with)

    Ok, do I win a prize for that :) ?

    Chris Walker
     
  30. foxfirebrand

    foxfirebrand Senior Member

    The Northern Rockies
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    Exactly what's been rattling around all this time in my head, without quite breaking the surface of unconsciousness. Not that I'm the one with the elusive c-word, though. Welcome to the forums, Chris.

    Yes, that moment in a relationship where you suddenly realize you are furniture.
    .
     
  31. Amityville

    Amityville Senior Member

    France
    English UK
    I think it's got to be comfortable or cared for. Suspenseful, no shame in admitting it's an ordinary kind of word, at post #999, we've been there.
     
  32. panjandrum

    panjandrum PongoMod

    Belfast, Ireland
    English-Ireland (top end)
    That's the best fit so far.
    All we need now is suspensefullife to come and confirm.

    I hope, Chris, that this is the answer.
     
  33. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    But would you say you're comfortable with a great-aunt you met at a reunion in fourth grade? I'm not questioning the applicability of the term to this particular situation (I agree with everyone else that it works superbly), but I don't quite follow the analogy with the distant relative.
     
  34. nanami Junior Member

    china
    chinese
    i think it's maybe not that important to get the word C O back, as you did get the meaning. just let life goes on.
     
  35. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Very sorry to say that it is not. However, I know how time consuming the registration process is, having done it myself just to post this query. The only prize I can offer is a heartfelt thank you for making me laugh out loud this morning.

    I appreciate everyone's input, and I am thinking it is time to move on. I may just use "cognizant of" in my story, as it really is the closest approximation I have found. I will continue to peruse the dictionary. I promise if I ever come up with the answer I will post, post-haste.
     
  36. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    truly, in my life I have moved on. I really wanted to capture the feeling of that moment for my story.

    It has been really fun having this discourse with all of you, and even if I never think of the word, the search lead me to this amazing community, and I believe that is my reward.
     
  37. Walker New Member

    GB English
    The funny thing is, I too experienced a “quest for a word I knew I had heard way back sometime”. It was a word in a quote in a book I had read. I too spent weeks (literally!) exploring the depths of my brain and when I finally “remembered” it, it didn’t start with the expected letter. To top things off, some time later I stumbled upon “that quote” and the word I had “remembered” was not part of the quote either…

    As for the rest, and I don’t know whether this has been suggested here already, why don’t you ask your ex what he said?

    And anyway, what’s wrong with being “comfortable” (or whatever similar word you want to insert into your memory gap) with someone? Reliable sources tell me that good relationships usually and inevitably progress from passionate to comfortable over the years (with several intermediate stages along the way).

    Chris
     
  38. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Urbana-Champaign, IL
    Am. English, Pal. Arabic (See profile)
    If it doesn't have to start with a c, could it be "acquainted with"? :cool:
     
  39. Amityville

    Amityville Senior Member

    France
    English UK
    wouldn't want it to happen to someone who's a colleague of mine ? :rolleyes::)

    That's a long shot but you never know.
     
  40. suspensefullife Junior Member

    Ohio USA
    English USA
    Doesn't ring a bell, but that really could be it!!!!! We worked together for about three years.

    I'm going with that in my story unless something else rings in!



    Thank you.
     
  41. foxfirebrand

    foxfirebrand Senior Member

    The Northern Rockies
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    Co-worker, then? Cohort? Old crony? Not cohabiter, I assume!
    .
     

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