Не обижайтесь на нас.


Senior Member
USA, English
Hi all. I could use some quick help with a text message from the parent of one of my Russian-speaking students. The student is having attendance problems and the parents are struggling to figure out how to help their child. The father has not been involved at all until last week, when he texted me and is expressing serious concern about the situation (which is a good thing -- it is serious).

He texted me this morning that his child will stay home today ("Я сказал ему чтоб он находился дома," which I assume means he is to stay at the house.) and that he would see me Monday for the meeting at school.

I wrote back: "Ладно. До скорого."

He texted back:
Я в курсе.
Не обежайтесь на нас.

I assume he meant обещайтесь. But I wanted to get some perspectives of native Russian speakers. Is he expressing that we (the school) should not take offense to what is happening? Or is he saying to not offend them, his family. If it's the latter, I'm concerned, because maybe I miscommunicated something. If it's the former, it makes more sense and I'll respond appropriately. But I could use some quick help on this, just so I'm sure.

  • Maroseika

    Correct spelling is не обижайтесь. And обещаться means quite different thing - to promise.
    And the sense is: don't be offended.



    Senior Member
    It's the former, "don't take offense at us" (note the misspelled "обИжайтесь"). Have to add, though: I find use of this expression a bit odd in the situation you're describing... he probably wouldn't say that to a teacher in Russia )


    Senior Member
    USA, English
    I think the family is truly struggling with how to react. They’re embarrassed that their kid isn’t coming to school. Maybe humiliated.

    I appreciate everyone’s quick replies. My big issue wasn’t making sure he wasn’t telling me (perhaps in an angry or frustrated way) not to offend them.

    Thanks, all!


    Senior Member
    "Я сказал ему чтоб он находился дома,"
    I would say "Я сказал ему, чтобы он оставался дома."

    Yes, in the case you described I think he meant "Do not be offended at us because of this entire situation."

    However in certain situations the reply "Не обижайтесь на нас/меня." can be a reaction to the word "ладно" which, when pronounced in an indifferent voice with a touch of sadness in it, can be interpreted as "Okay, whatever..." or "Okay, I don't care anymore..." or "Okay, it's up to you..."
    "Хорошо" can have the same effect but "ладно" is used more often for this purpose.

    BTW one of my friend always says "Не обижайтесь, если что не так" ("Do not feel offended if something went wrong") right after saying "Good-by" when he is about to leave my house :) Just his personal ritual :)

    I only saw this one in Pushkin's "Сказка о царе Салтане" - "... К нам он в гости обещался, А доселе не собрался..." ("доселе" = "до сих пор")

    Я в курсе.
    There is a Franch phrase that sounds similar "être au courant" ("to be aware of") :)

    P.S. This is just my personal opinion and my personal experience. I know I'm late, and the reply is not longer relevant, but you might need it for future reference :)
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