僕たちのこの意思を刻んで

[Sammo]

僕たちのこの意思を刻んで

This phrase comes from this song here. Although on the lyrics page there it's typed out as "僕たちの　この意思を　刻んで "

What is an accurate translation for this? Is it any of these:


1 - Let our ambitions be engraved in us

2 - Engrave into us these ambitions we have

3 - These ambitions we have, engrave them into us

4 - Remember these ambitions


Or would it be something else?

Thanks. 🙂

 

[gengo]

Literally, it's something like "engrave this intention of ours," but I don't think the lyrics are supposed to convey any deep meaning. The words were likely chosen more for how they sound, and in that respect they are more like music than lyrics.

This type of songwriting, mixing English and Japanese words together, was made popular back in the 1980s by サザンオールスターズ (Southern All-Stars), and the lyrics are like abstract poetry, giving flashes of meaning without being very coherent. Of course, Japanese haiku has a long tradition of painting a scene with vague references.

 

[Sammo]

@gengo

I appreciate the explanation of the history of how English got into common use in Japanese contemporary music. But I would like a direct answer to my question. 🙂

You say that literally, it's something like "engrave this intention of ours". But this isn't telling me if any one of the options I put up is the best translation in this context. Also, no offense but opinions on the quality of the lyrics are not of any relevance here because it doesn't help. Is any of the translation options that I listed the best and if not, what would be then in this context?

Thank you.

 

[gengo]

I didn't say anything about the quality of the lyrics. I merely said that they are more like abstract poetry than linear, logical prose. That means that you can't really do a normal translation. (And I happen to love Southern All-Stars, so I wouldn't be condemning this style at any rate.)

Specifically, things we don't know include:
exactly what 意思 means here (it has a fairly wide range of possible translations)
where that 意思 is to be 刻まれる (in the singers' hearts, etc.)
who the subject of the verb 刻む is (who is doing the action)
etc.

That's why I can't really tell you if any of your translation attempts reflect the intended meaning of the original. If a translator really wanted to do a good job on these lyrics, he would have to interview the songwriter to learn what the lyrics were intended to evoke in the listener.

That said, if my feet were pressed to the fire, I might translate the line as: This desire is etched in our hearts.

 

[SoLaTiDoberman]

5 - Recording (Engraving) (the footsteps of) these ambitions of ours
................................................

"アスファルトに書いた　壮大な My Dream (actually "Our Dreams" would be better) "
アスファルト is the metapher for "the urban city or life."
Therefore, this line is mentioning about "Our dreams written (－－－＞planned) in an urban city."

This lyrics is talking about the infinite potential/possibillities of the young, but at least they don't seem to include "a country life as a farmer" or something like that.

アスファルトに書いた　景色があるんだ
"There is a sciene/landscape written (－－－＞shown) in that urban city."

僕たちの　この意思を　(アスファルトに）　刻んで
I think this means that they are going to carry out their dreams step by step.
I personally don't think that this 刻む means "to remember in one's mind well" but "to go forward step by step and record the footprints of their attainment step by step."

In this phrase, they are talking about the fulfillment of their dreams/ambitions, the next step of their plans/dreams/ambitions.

For this reason, I would disagree with the translation, "This desire is etched in our hearts," although it might be correct.

Of course, there are plenty of interpretations and you should ask the writer himself.

 

[Sammo]

That said, if my feet were pressed to the fire, I might translate the line as: This desire is etched in our hearts.

Thank you for the detailed follow-up. So I suppose from what you say, it could be either a command or just a statement since the first one you wrote was a command ("engrave this intention of ours") and this one is just a statement ("This desire is etched in our hearts").

Of course, there are plenty of interpretations and you should ask the writer himself.

If that option was available to me, I wouldn't be here asking this question. 🙂 Even if you are not 100% positive, giving an informed opinion can still carry value. Thanks for providing a response to my question.