A cute sentence revolving around hair

Ncoe

New Member
Sweden (Swedish)
"Had my hair been cut neatly, in a due I loved, with every string of hair at the exact length I wanted them, I would probably have thought twice about putting my head forward."

Any corrections or opinions to/on this sentence?
 
  • GreenWhiteBlue

    Senior Member
    USA - English
    "Had my hair been cut neatly, in a do I loved, with every string of hair at the exact length I wanted it, I would probably would not have thought twice about putting my head forward."
    Among other things, I think you want to change this to a negative sentence: you would not think twice about putting your head forward (and what does that mean, anyway -- to "put your head forward"?) if your hair looked nice.
     

    Ncoe

    New Member
    Sweden (Swedish)
    Among other things, I think you want to change this to a negative sentence: you would not think twice about putting your head forward (and what does that mean, anyway -- to "put your head forward"?) if your hair looked nice.
    Ah, I guess it doesn't make much sense without proper context, does it?

    The sentence is a statement from a person who were just asked by another person holding scissors to bend forward, which he did.
     
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