a finding that flies in the face of a Statistics Canada report

Ume

Banned
Japanese
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=ed336bd4-6b69-4d74-a5fd-8c23600031b5&k=8560085600
Moreover, the survey said only nine per cent considered their offspring overweight, a finding that flies in the face of a Statistics Canada report that 26 per cent of children under age 18 are overweight or obese.
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I don't believe that this sentence is grammatical. I would say, "Moreover, the survey said only nine per cent considered their offspring overweight. However, according to a Statistics Canada report, 26 per cent of children under age 18 are overweight or obese." How about you?
 
  • TrentinaNE

    Senior Member
    USA
    English (American)
    Although the original sentence is a bit complex, it is not grammatically incorrect. Some might consider your revision, however, to be a stylistic improvement, once you move the "however." ;)
    "Moreover, the survey said only nine per cent considered their offspring overweight. However, According to a Statistics Canada report, however, 26 per cent of children under age 18 are overweight or obese."
    Elisabetta
     
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