<A gets more than twice the number of X than B> vs <A gets more than twice as many X as B>

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Roundhouse

Senior Member
Bengali
I wrote the first sentence, but someone suggested I re-write it as the second sentence. Their reason is that the second flows smoother. I have a feeling that for this particular sentence the length of it makes a more stronger/emphatic effect on the reader. I feel that the presence of "than" in my sentence makes the comparison more pronounced.

My sentence: Person A receives more than twice the number of weeks of benefits than Person B. (They don't like the use of "of" twice here)
Suggested sentence: Person A receives more than twice as many weeks of benefits as Person B.

Which of these would a native speaker prefer while reading?
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Note that the full sentence is actually quite long (which might be another reason they prefer the smaller clause):

The very fact that Scarlett receives more than twice the number of weeks of benefits than Melissa, despite them having worked at the same firm and having equivalent work histories, exemplifies the gross inequities that regional differentiation creates between identical workers.
 
  • Cenzontle

    Senior Member
    English, U.S.
    You already said "than" once, right after "more", where it belongs. Don't say it twice.
    In that sentence, the word between "benefits" and "Person B" depends on "twice as many", not on "more".
    Repeating "of" is not wrong, but it's smoother without.
     
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