a good slam packed their face meat against its sharp edge

JeSuisSnob

Ombudsmod
Mexican Spanish
Hello, Foreros. I have a few doubts with my translation (with the bolded part, but also with the last sentence). These are Chuck Palahniuk's words:

"The shuttle takes me to downtown Phoenix and every bar I go into there are guys with stitches around the rim of an eye socket where a good slam packed their face meat against its sharp edge. There are guys with sideways noses, and these guys at the bar see me with the puckered hole in my cheek and we're an instant family."

And this is my attempt:

"El ir y venir me lleva al centro de Phoenix y en cada bar que me meto hay tipos con puntadas alrededor del borde de la cuenca de un ojo, donde un buen madrazo/golpe empaquetó/empacó la carne de sus caras en contra de su borde afilado. En el bar hay tipos con narices ladeadas y al ver que tengo el hoyo fruncido en la mejilla, casi instantáneamente somos como de la familia."

As always, I appreciate your time.
 
  • bibliolept

    Senior Member
    AE, Español
    No me parece mal. Personalmente, consideraría "empaco/relleno la carne de sus caras contra su borde afilado".

    No sé si optaría por "carne facial" ya que se pierde algo del sabor.
     
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