A past due premium in the amount of $XX.XX

Quillaray

Senior Member
English, USA - Español, Chile
Hello fellow forum members and good afternoon from California,

I'm not confident of my translation of the phrase "...a past due premium in the amount of $XX.XX."

The complete sentence in English is as follows:
Our records indicate that you have a past due premium in the amount of $XX.XX.

My best effort:
Nuestros archivos indican que usted tiene una prima vencida de $XX.XX.

I'm unhappy with this translation but can't seem to improve on it. Does it successfully convey everything that the English does? Is there any change you would make to improve it?
 
  • mrgshelton

    Senior Member
    USA--English
    Hi, Quillaray...
    You might try changing the syntax. For example (and I'll change some othet stuff, just for variety): "Se nota en su cuenta que usted tiene vencida una prima de $XX.XX"
     

    Quillaray

    Senior Member
    English, USA - Español, Chile
    mrg, do you feel that that version improves the fluidity of the translation? I'm not sure.

    Bevj: no estoy seguro que "pendiente" implique lo mismo que "past due" en este caso. Según mi entender, pendiente quiere decir que ha llegado el momento de pagar la prima, pero que el pago no está atrasado. "Past due," en cambio, significa que ya pasó el plazo para pagar, y que el pago ya está atrasado.

    Qué opinas?
     

    Bevj

    Allegra Moderata (Sp/Eng, Cat)
    English (U.K.)
    No soy nativa o sea que seguro sabes mejor que yo :)
    Entonces 'Segun nuestros datos Ud. tiene una prima vencida.....'
     

    mrgshelton

    Senior Member
    USA--English
    Hi, Quillaray...
    In my mind, there is better fluidity in my version. BUT...if this is a late notice being sent, a more "demanding" or business tone is fine, and conversational fluidity can be less important.
     
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