absorbing conflict

prpeggy

Senior Member
Chinese-Taiwan
From "What Makes Love Last?" by John Gottman:

Slowly, they begin to keep their dissatisfactions secret. They avoid confiding their needs in order to prevent absorbing conflict. This attempt to “save” the relationship has theopposite effect...

What is "absorbing conflict"?
Thanks for response.
 
  • owlman5

    Senior Member
    English-US
    "Absorbing conflict" looks odd to me, Peggy. I understand it to mean that these people don't discuss their needs because they want to avoid conflicts with other people. If they have to argue with others regarding their needs, the conflict can be damaging and stressful.
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    "In order to prevent absorbing conflict" also looks very strange to me. I don't know how to explain it:(.
     

    prpeggy

    Senior Member
    Chinese-Taiwan
    Ofttimes it's reassuring enough to know an expression sounds odd to the native speakers too. :)
     
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