account for the highest percentage/proportion/share

meijin

Senior Member
Japanese
Hi, please see the following example I created, imagining it is a sentence in a survey report.

Men in their 60s account for the highest ________ among smokers.

1. percentage
2. proportion
3. share


Which of the above three options work?

(I have a feeling that there's a much simpler way to say what the sentence is trying to say...)
 
  • meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    That's quite simple and good. At the same time, I'd like to know if #1-3 in the original post also work and sound idiomatic. I might have to use one of them when the "...is the largest group" expression doesn't work well in a sentence.
     

    meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    I would say that it's the largest group.
    I've just noticed something. If I incorporate "it's the largest group" into the original sentence, it will be...

    Men in their 60s is the largest group among smokers.

    Is "men + is" OK? It should be "are", shouldn't it?
     

    Glasguensis

    Signal Modulation
    English - Scotland
    No, if one of your suggestions had been idiomatic I'd have said so. "Men in their 60s" is a category in your survey and is singular.
     

    meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    "Men in their 60s" is a category in your survey and is singular.
    Oh...that's really good to know.

    No, if one of your suggestions had been idiomatic I'd have said so.
    I see, now I need to find out what was wrong in that sentence. I found the following sentences in: theconversation.com - Another cost of smoking: Sky-high insurance.

    Of the uninsured adults in the United States, 37 percent are smokers, even though smokers account for only 17 percent of the total U.S. population.

    So, looking at the bold part, I realize that the preposition ("among") was wrong, and the percentage was not mentioned, in my example.
    If I correct these mistakes, it will be...

    Men in their 60s accounts for 30% (highest) of the total smokers.

    Now it sounds idiomatic....I hope. It's interesting that "the highest percentage/proportion/share" doesn't work in the underlined part.
     

    meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    I found the this sentence "This age group accounts for the highest percentage of prior fraud victims (34.3%)" in: Cambridge & District: Scam Awareness Month July 2017

    So I think the following version (which is only a slightly edited version of the sentence in the OP) works at least in documents like survey reports.

    Men in their 60s accounts for the highest percentage of smokers.
     

    Glasguensis

    Signal Modulation
    English - Scotland
    Your second to last post still doesn't work. Your last post is just about possible but it's still not terrific, and not as good as the example you quote, where the subject is "group".
     

    meijin

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    and not as good as the example you quote, where the subject is "group".
    I was actually wondering how to convert "Men in their 60s" into "the xxx group" (I have struggled doing this before). "The male 60s group" might work in documents intended for marketing people.
     

    Glasguensis

    Signal Modulation
    English - Scotland
    I already told you in post 4. There is absolutely no reason to search for different and more awkward alternatives.
     
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