adult in which a child is <to become / going to become>

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menari

New Member
Spanish
I'm writing an essay, and I'm not sure about what phrases or words would be the best choice. I'm not trying to make it look fancy but I don't want it too simple either.

Which one of the following sentences sounds better?
1. He conveys that parental guidance determines the adult in which a child is to become.
2. He conveys that parental guidance determines the adult in which a child is going to become.

Should I paraphrase it?
 
  • Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    "In which" is wrong here:
    Of the two, I prefer 'is going to become' in this context

    He conveys that parental guidance determines the adult [] a child is going to become.
    A side comment: As I understand it, in some languages, people expect the vocabulary used in essays to be 'fancier' than that use din ordinary speech. In English, the vocabulary used in essays is very close to that used in ordinary conversation. In general, we prefer direct and clear expression to language that draws attention to itself. For instance we would not say 'conveys' if we mean 'says'.

    The meaning of your sentence is not clear. Please tell us again what you want to say using other words.
     

    menari

    New Member
    Spanish
    "In which" is wrong here:
    Of the two, I prefer 'is going to become' in this context

    He conveys that parental guidance determines the adult [] a child is going to become.
    A side comment: As I understand it, in some languages, people expect the vocabulary used in essays to be 'fancier' than that use din ordinary speech. In English, the vocabulary used in essays is very close to that used in ordinary conversation. In general, we prefer direct and clear expression to language that draws attention to itself. For instance we would not say 'conveys' if we mean 'says'.

    The meaning of your sentence is not clear. Please tell us again what you want to say using other words.
    ~~~
    I'm trying to say that parents have the responsibility to educate children properly so that when they grow up, they become persons of good will. Not everyone gets the chance to receive proper education or guidance, which is why there are people that do bad things thinking they are ok. That's why I reckon parents play a huge factor in the way would-be adults think and act.

    Should I paraphrase the sentence?
     
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