Ali

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abadi

New Member
arabic
plaese read this story and give me your opinion


Farmer’s Ali

A long a long time ago an orphan called Ali. When he was three years old his mother married someone from anther village. As result, his mother gave him to his uncle. While Ali became nine years his uncle was very hard with him. He had farms and animals he made Ali as worker in the farms and shepherd. Ali spent much time in this case and he lived very hard life. His uncle used to hit him and send outside house.
His uncle and some of relatives used to travel to makkah, Jeddah and Riyadh for trade, but Ali was stayed in the village with the farm and animals.

When Ali became adult, he married A girl from the same village. Her name was Monerah afterward he had three daughters. In the same time he moved to kames Mashete in the south of Saudi Arabia for working in a British Company working for Saudi Air Forces.

After A year, he had a son. An important change for this family happened. Ali's Uncle and some relatives were worried for the coming the boy because Ali share them farms and animals. So they decided not to give him any thing. Furthermore, they send the family out without anything just their clothes.

As result, Ali left his job and came back to his family and moved to his wife's family and lived with them for sometimes. A lot of people were very sad about Ali after he spent those years with his uncle as worker. He started building his house in a deserted place. Then he got a job in Electric Saudi Company.

Subsequently, Ali had a big house and with a family consists of daughters and boys. He also forgave his uncle, and he didn't forget what happened in the past. Now Ali became old and his house and his sons are employees in high jobs at the government and the daughters married, BUT his wife passed away.
 
  • fenixpollo

    moderator
    American English
    Hi, abadi, and welcome to the forum. I think you want a critique in English... right? I will offer a few suggestions:
    abadi said:
    Ali, the Farmer

    A long a long time ago, there was an orphan called Ali. When he was three years old his mother married someone from another village. As a result, his mother gave him to his uncle. When Ali was nine years old his uncle was very hard with him. He had farms and animals he made Ali as work on the farm and herd sheep. Ali spent much time in this way and he lived a very hard life. His uncle used to hit him and send him outside the house.
    His uncle and some of his relatives used to travel to Mecca, Jiddah and Riyadh for trade, but Ali was stayed in the village with the farm and animals.

    When Ali became an adult, he married a girl from the same village. Her name was Monerah. Later, she had three daughters. At the same time he moved to kames Mashete in the south of Saudi Arabia to work for a British Company working for the Saudi Air Force.

    After a year, they had a son. An important change for this family happened. Ali's Uncle and some relatives were worried for the coming of the boy because Ali share them farms and animals.(??) So they decided not to give him anything. Furthermore, they send the family out without anything, just their clothes.

    As result, Ali left his job and came back to his family and moved to his wife's family and lived with them for some time. A lot of people were very sad about Ali after he spent those years with his uncle as worker. He started building his house in a deserted place. Then he got a job with the Saudi Electric Company.

    Subsequently, Ali had a big house and with a family consisting of daughters and boys. He also forgave his uncle, and he didn't forget what happened in the past. Now Ali grew old and his house and his sons are employees in high jobs at the government and the daughters married, BUT his wife passed away.
    Abadi, it's not clear what the problem was with the birth of Ali's son and why the family treated him and his family badly.

    Hope this helps.
     

    abadi

    New Member
    arabic
    Thank you so much and I got idea
    This some traditions in our life if some one lived some time with his relatives finally he should take some animals or farms
     

    cinnamon

    Member
    ITALIAN
    abadi said:
    Thank you so much and I got idea
    This some traditions in our life if some one lived some time with his relatives finally he should take some animals or farms
    you mean farms and animals are come into, that is, who lives with own relatives probably will have farms and animals as heritage.
    is that right?
     

    el alabamiano

    Senior Member
    English (US)
    A long a long time ago an orphan called Ali. When he was three years old his mother married someone from anther village. As result, his mother...

    Just to point out here, an orphan is someone who has lost both parents. Since the mother is living during this point, you should change "orphan" to "boy".
     
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