all hands shoot up in the air except one

hly2004

Banned
chinese
Hi, everyone:

All hands shoot up in the air except one slowly rising up, tentatively.

I wonder if the red part is ok.


more explanation:

The teacher asks a question, and every one knows the answer and quickly raises their hand, except one child who usually is difficult in study. But this time, he also knows the answer, but he is not as brave as the rest kids. I'm not sure if the red part is ok, and would appreiciate it if you could provides a better version.

Best wishes.
 
  • maxiogee

    Banned
    English
    Hi, everyone:

    All hands shoot up in the air except one slowly rising up, tentatively.

    I wonder if the red part is ok.


    more explanation:

    The teacher asks a question, and every one knows the answer and quickly raises their hand, except one child who usually is difficult in study. But this time, he also knows the answer, but he is not as brave as the rest kids. I'm not sure if the red part is ok, and would appreiciate it if you could provides a better version.

    Best wishes.
    I think for your purpose I would add 'which; to the sentence.....

    All hands shoot up in the air except for one, which rises slowly, tentatively,
     

    pachomius

    Senior Member
    USA / American English
    All hands shoot up in the air except for one which slowly, tentatively rises.
    All hands shoot up in the air except the one that slowly, tentatively rises.
    All hands shoot up in the air except the one slowly, tentatively rising.

    I can't decide which way sounds best - I think it depends on your own personal preference for the sound and rhythm of the sentence.

    You might also want to consider using 'rises up' or 'rising up' to balance the 'up' at the beginning of the sentence.

    Again, just go with what sounds best to you...
     
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