An awkward sentence

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sedate

New Member
Chinese - English
This is the sentence I wrote:

These problems are mostly associated with "A" and "B", which intrinsically arise from the limited number of "C" that usually requires the activation of "D" as an addition to fully accommodate "E".


Seems to me this sentence is fairly awkward. Also I'm not sure if the grammar is correct or not.

Any helps here?

Thanks a lot!

 
  • Gwan

    Senior Member
    New Zealand, English
    Um it is certainly difficult to understand. Is it possible to re-write with actual words in place of 'A', 'B' 'C' etc. that might make the meaning clearer?
    PS welcome to the forum!
     

    Forero

    Senior Member
    This is like a "House That Jack Built" sentence and seems longer than it needs to be, but it is probably otherwise fine except that "requires" should be "require" to agree with "the limited number of 'C'", referring to how many "C" have the indicated requirement.

    If "C" is not something plural, you could say "limited amount" instead of "limited number" and "requires" would then be right.
     

    sedate

    New Member
    Chinese - English
    Thanks for the replies!

    The original writing was:

    "These problems are mostly associated with the presence of internal constraints and texture, which intrinsically arise from the limited number of slip systems that usually requires the activation of twinning as an addition to fully accommodate plastic deformation."

    Yes. "requires" should be corrected to "require". Thanks for the correction. And, I do believe this is too long to clearly understand. Broken into two shorter sentences, the following is what I just re-wrote:

    "These problems are mostly associated with the presence of internal constraints and texture, which intrinsically arise from the limited number of slip systems; the scarcity of the systems usually requires the activation of twinning as an addition to fully accommodate plastic deformation."

    Any better than the original sentence? or even worse?

    Thanks again!
     

    Forero

    Senior Member
    You have changed the meaning. The original says that the slip systems require the activation, but your version says the scarcity of the slip systems requires the activation.

    The sentence original sentence makes sense, and this is what it means:

    • (Some problems have just been mentioned)
    • These problems are mostly associated with the presence of internal constraints and texture.
    • A limited number of slip systems require the activation of twinning as an addition to fully accommodate plastic deformation.
    • Internal constraints and texture intrinsically arise from these slip systems.
    One thing that could help this sentence would be to replace the abstract Latinate expressions such as "to accommodate plastic deformation" with more up-front wording such as "to allow for warping" (if that is what you mean). If it doesn't change the meaning (I am not a ceramics expert), you could say:

    Such problems happen mostly with internal constraints and texture, due (mainly) to the few kinds of slip that may require using need more twinning to prevent warping.

    Can you say "internal constraints" in plain English?
     
    Last edited:

    sedate

    New Member
    Chinese - English
    I would just say "Wow, such a great help!" Thanks Forero!


    You have changed the meaning. The original says that the slip systems require the activation, but your version says the scarcity of the slip systems requires the activation.

    The sentence original sentence makes sense, and this is what it means:

    • (Some problems have just been mentioned)
    • These problems are mostly associated with the presence of internal constraints and texture.
    • A limited number of slip systems require the activation of twinning as an addition to fully accommodate plastic deformation.
    • Internal constraints and texture intrinsically arise from these slip systems.
    One thing that could help this sentence would be to replace the abstract Latinate expressions such as "to accommodate plastic deformation" with more up-front wording such as "to allow for warping" (if that is what you mean). If it doesn't change the meaning (I am not a ceramics expert), you could say:

    Such problems happen mostly with internal constraints and texture, due (mainly) to the few kinds of slip that may require using need more twinning to prevent warping.

    Can you say "internal constraints" in plain English?
     
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