an awkward sentence

Honza

Senior Member
Czech / Czech Republic
Hello,
I'm to translate a sentence saying that defendants (in a law suit) did not take the opportunity to express themselves on their case and they neither expressed their opinions by means of their guardian. My final translation is:

Defendants did not express their opinions on the case even through their guardian.

However, it sounds awkward to me. Would you have any suggestion how to make this sentence better? Or is it ok like that?
 
  • nycphotography

    Senior Member
    American English
    In this matter Defendants failed to make statements [to the court] either personally or through guardians.

    You may wish to add TO WHOM they were expected to make statements.
     

    maxiogee

    Banned
    English
    As it was an opportunity, and not an obligation, I wouldn't say "failed" as that carries huge negative connotations. I think I'd prefer "The Defendants declined to make any statements, either personally or through their guardians.
     

    nycphotography

    Senior Member
    American English
    maxiogee said:
    As it was an opportunity, and not an obligation, I wouldn't say "failed" as that carries huge negative connotations. I think I'd prefer "The Defendants declined to make any statements, either personally or through their guardians.
    Good point. I had assumed (possibly incorrectly) that it was a prosecutors brief.

    I suppose it depends on whether you are representing the Defendents or the Prosecution.

    DEFINITELY choose your version carefully. :)
     

    nycphotography

    Senior Member
    American English
    river said:
    The defendant and their guardian declined comment on the case.
    Which is an excellent journalistic style.

    Interesting contrasts:

    Accusatory legal style.
    Defense legal style.
    Journalistic style.
     
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