and friendship that is created

erroranalysis

Senior Member
German
One of my students wrote:

The book is an adventure story taking place in Australia. It shows the prejudices some people have and friendship that is created by not caring about the way someone looks.

Do you believe the highlighted structure is in order? I am not so sure about how well create collocates with friendship. Create might not be a good choice, and the whole structure is bothering me. Would it be better to rewrite it or would you just leave it as it is? This is my suggestion:

It shows the prejudices some people have and that true friendship develops by not caring about the way someone looks.
 
Last edited:
  • BLUEGLAZE

    Senior Member
    English - USA
    Yes your sentence is much better. 'Created' doesn't work as well. 'Arises' is another choice.
    I would say, "...how true friendship arises when not caring..." or that it can develop.
    It's still a pretty good sentence for a student.
     

    sdgraham

    Senior Member
    USA English
    This might be a bit esoteric for learners, but we use the conjunction "and" to connect things that are more or less in consort with each other in the context of the sentence.

    Your student's effort, on the other hand, lists two situations in opposition to each other.

    Thus, I would have written the sentence:

    The book is an adventure story taking place in Australia. It shows the prejudices some people have as opposed to friendship that is created by not without caring about the way someone looks.

    (lack of prejudice does not cause a friendship, it just doesn't get in the way. :))
     
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