...and must turn: but how?

Irelia20150604

Senior Member
Chinese
The context comes from Jane Eyre Chapter 4

...My look or something else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation. I got up, I went to the door; I came back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up to her.

SPEAK I must: I had been trodden on severely, and MUST turn: but how? What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist? ...
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Hi everyone! I don't quite understand the bold part. Could I interpret it as "I must turn against her, but how do I turn against her"?
 
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