apprenticeship <at/in your facility> [American English]

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Senior Member
I have to apply for an apprenticeship in California and wanted to ask beforehand if I will qualify and what I will have to do to apply.

This is what I came up with :

To whom it may concern,

I'm an Electrician (Mechatronic) from Germany and moving to Riverside, California in September, I've worked in the industrial sector and specialized on the wiring of control cabinets as well as electrical maintenance and repair. I was working for temp agencies only and therefore don't fulfill the requirements ( a total of 8000 hrs on the job) to be a certified board Electrician. Do I qualify for an apprenticeship at your facility with my German apprenticeship? If so, what would I have to do to apply?

I'm not sure about the 'at your facility' part. I can't decide if it should be 'in' or 'at' your facility. Also, the last sentence sounds rather rude. What should I change?
  • Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    We don't do general proof reading (Rule 5). If you have a specific question about a particular part of another sentence, please start a new thread to ask it.

    What sort of business or operation is this? I think that the term 'facility' applies to some businesses, but for others a different word might be better.
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