Archaic words

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Ahmed Al Saady

Senior Member
Arabic
Hi, everyone!
I hope everything's alright.

I wrote the following poem about two months ago.
Here it is:

The night your lips
First uttered to me
The words "I love you"

I felt as if I soared above
The celestial palaces of love

The Moon poured
Its light, beauty, charm
Into my heart

The shimmering stars
Caressed my soul

And then I replaced some words in it with archaic ones.
Here they are:

Th' Nyght thy lips
First utter'd to me
Th' words "I love thee"

I felt as if I soar'd above
Th' celestial palaces of love

Th' Moon pour'd
Its light, beauty, charm
Into my heart

Th' shimmering stars
Caress'd my soul

My question is:
Do the archaic words replaced with everyday English ones, in the 2nd poem, are correct?
There's another question:
May you kindly tell me what the archaic words for "I" & "me" are?

Thank you very much!
 
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  • GreenWhiteBlue

    Senior Member
    USA - English
    Your use of Th' in place of "the" is not "archaic", but simply incorrect. The only place where Th' can be used is before a word that begins with a vowel sound, and you are indicating that you are running two syllables together into one. This is a common practice in languages such as French or Spanish (for example, the Spanish words la alma, which means "the soul", would be pronounced as two syllables, rather like "lal-ma"), but much less common in English.

    The apostrophe is also used when you want to ensure that a syllable is dropped. For example, "blessed" can be pronounced either as one or as two syllables, depending on context, and spelling it as bless'd ensures that when read aloud it is said only as one. However, poured and soared can only be said as one syllable, so there is no reason to change the spelling. None of this strikes me as deliberately archaic or poetic; it merely seems affected and pointless.
     

    Myridon

    Senior Member
    English - US
    "Night" isn't spelled with a Y even in The Canterbury Tales. ("That slepen al the night with open ye." from The Prologue)
     

    Hermione Golightly

    Senior Member
    British English
    While everybody is familiar with the old second person singular forms thou and so on, the other 'old' words are a very different language. You are in danger of writing 'forsoothery'. It's a misguided attempt and only spoils what could be rather agreeable. Sorry!
     
    Last edited:

    Ahmed Al Saady

    Senior Member
    Arabic
    Your use of Th' in place of "the" is not "archaic", but simply incorrect. The only place where Th' can be used is before a word that begins with a vowel sound, and you are indicating that you are running two syllables together into one. This is a common practice in languages such as French or Spanish (for example, the Spanish words la alma, which means "the soul", would be pronounced as two syllables, rather like "lal-ma"), but much less common in English.

    The apostrophe is also used when you want to ensure that a syllable is dropped. For example, "blessed" can be pronounced either as one or as two syllables, depending on context, and spelling it as bless'd ensures that when read aloud it is said only as one. However, poured and soared can only be said as one syllable, so there is no reason to change the spelling. None of this strikes me as deliberately archaic or poetic; it merely seems affected and pointless.
    Thank you very much for the answer and the explanation!
     
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