Are children disrespectful these days?

Discussion in 'Cultural Discussions' started by luis masci, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. luis masci

    luis masci Banned

    When I was a child most children just went home after school and worked doing chores. Now the children must be chauffeured around to their very important appointments. Also, children do not get punished the way children were punished when I was young. Many young people treat their elders with a level of disrespect that never would have been tolerated in previous generations. Is that true there as well or is it just en los EEUU?
    The above, is part of a mail that my American friend wrote me.
    I always thought it would be fairly normal for my country Argentina, still recovering after to live many years under dictatorships, where people feel fed up of authoritarian powers and for that reason they have now an extremely permissive attitude with their children. But why it is the same in a powerful country that have not passed under those sadly circumstances is a real puzzled to me.
    So my questions would be:
    Are you in agreement with my friend? (For those who are living in USA)
    Do you feel this statement would be true also for your country/state /city/town? (For all members)

    Corrections of my attempts to write in English are welcome anytime
  2. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    It is entirely possible that this is what has been said by each generation of grumpy old boors ever since Adam was a lad.

    So many people have a selective memory with regards to 'the good old days'. People talk about how dangerous life is today as compared to when I was a kid. Pish and tosh.
    Just 100 years ago it was not safe to walk the streets of Sydney due to mob violence.

    I suspect that the problem encountered here is trying to view life through the distorting lens of the media which will continue to focus on every single banal action with nothing too petty or mean for their purpose of depressing an audience so that their commercials can sell you the next flipping useless thing to cheer you up from the news induced gloom.

    I keep hearig about these disrespectful kids but it is always a vicarious experience reported relating to somebody that a mate knew who had a friend who read it in a magazine in the dunny of a prawn trawler.

    Kids today are exactly as wonderful as their parents.

  3. Brioche

    Brioche Senior Member

    Australia English
    Ask a teacher who's near retirement this question:
    "How likely was it when you began your career for a teacher to be assaulted by a student?
    How likely is it now?"

    But as .,, says, Kids today are exactly as wonderful as their parents.

    So the next question for our retiring teacher:
    "How likely, then and now, for a parent to assault a teacher?"
  4. maxiogee Banned

    If I may abuse your friend's text to make a point…
    Children do not get chastised the way children were physically beaten when I was young. Many adults back then treated younger people with a level of disrespect that never will be tolerated in future generations​

    Thank one's God that those days are gone.
    'Respect' in your friends piece was - back then - a euphemism (in many homes in Ireland, at least) for terror and dread.
    Those parents are finding their twilight years to be lonely ones, as they find themselves estranged from the children they beat so routinely years ago.

    Although we were never estranged and we had a reconciliation over several matters, my mother and I had a very fraught relationship in which I certainly resented the beatings I used to fall victim to, and she was very much against my decision not to use violence on my son - a decision she never commented to me about, but did to my siblings.

    My wife and I have raised a fine young man who is a far better person, and who has a much better relationship with his parents, than I was/had at his age. Does he disrespect us - only when we do something stupid! ;)
  5. mirx Banned

    Well it might be just me and my family, but I totally agree with the first post.

    A few examples:

    My generation were taught to always adress our elders by "usted" my small cousins don't seem to know what this means.

    I would always refer to my uncles and aunts as, Tío Julio or Tía María, kids now won't bother with the title, their elder relatives are simple Julio and María.

    When I was told to do something by any family member, it was done right away, my cousins now retort "I´m busy", "I'll do it later", "Not now" and so on.

    Just the other day my aunt brought some friends home and asked my little cousin (and her niece) to heat up some food for them, the answer, she stared at my aunt for 4 or 5 seconds, then laughed and walked away, not a single word and obviously no heated food!!!

    I've also heard some of them cursing and swearing, my aunts and uncles can't seem to control them.

    Children are given too much liberty, but then again, it might be (it is) the parent's issues of their own traumatic childhoods.
  6. Etcetera

    Etcetera Senior Member

    St Petersburg, Russia
    Russian, Russia (St Petersburg)
    It certainly is true for Russia.
    Children have acquired much more freedom during the last decades. I don't know about Western countries, but here in Russia there are now much more activities available for children. Yes, I mean TV and the Internet, among other. Parents are no longer as authoritative as they were once.
  7. maxiogee Banned

    Respect is more than a mere form of words.
    I told my nephews and nieces - at an early age - that they could address me as Tony or Uncle Tony, as they wished. I said I would be happy with wahtever they were comfortable with. Some say Uncle Tony and some don't. Some of the ones who use 'uncle' are less respectful than some who don't.

    But, if the job can wait, what's wrong with someone saying "I'll do it later."?

    Sounds like the 'little cousin' (how young?) felt that the aunt was asking for more than she was entitled to ask for.What authority did she have to make such a request? In whose home did this happen? What was to prevent the aunt from heating up the food herself - it was for her and her friends, after all.
  8. Chaska Ñawi

    Chaska Ñawi modus borealis

    an old Ontario farmhouse
    Canadian English
    I certainly think that adults are more respectful of children these days.

    When I was a child, teachers and babysitters were free to smack, strap, or use whatever other forms of physical discipline appealed. Parents were free to use more intense physical "discipline". Many teachers routinely humiliated children in a way that they would never have done to an adult. In addition to the three Rs, these teachers taught by example that respect was about power and not courtesy.

    Regarding titles, I see many people of my own generation who refuse to use them when addressing seniors. The worst offenders are employees of hospitals and retirement homes. The children with whom I work are far more respectful to their elders than many adults who work with seniors.

    Respect isn't about obedience, and it isn't about using titles. It is about treating others with courtesy and dignity. Ideally, children who obey parents, teachers and other people in authority do so from respect ... but realistically, some children obey because the alternatives are worse. Their obedience is not the same as respect.

    The apple falls close to the tree. Most children who do not respect others learn this from their parents. As .,, says, disrespectful young have been lamented by every generation.
  9. Alxmrphi Senior Member

    Reykjavík, Ísland
    UK English
    Short answer: Yes, kids nowadays seem to think the world owes them something
  10. Veggy Senior Member

    I think that the parents and teachers Chaska Nawi talks about did not teach or even want respect from the younger ones, they just wanted obedience which would have made their life easier and make them feel poweful. What they taught in fact is that through punishment, strengh and violence one wins. In the case no introspection is done, some people continue in exactly the same manner to treat their own children. I really beleive it is the cause of emotional blindness we find today in adults regarding all kind of suffering.
    Sometimes, when we get from a child or a very young person a reaction we do not expect, we mistake it for lack of respect but sometimes it is only a right reaction to our lack of respect towards them. Some adults think they are always right when they deal with young people but it is not so. It happens that the younger ones know very well the adult is wrong or is acting disrespecfully, they just don't know the "appropriate" answer at that specific moment.
    Before we judge someone disrespectful, are we sure we really know what respect is?
  11. xarruc Senior Member

    Kids aren’t respectful of anything. Kids beat up on each other constantly (physically or otherwise) for the slightest reason at all. Kids are discouraged by their peers from developing unusual or unfashionable interests (Also known as “uncool”) and instead coerced into being cool (basically defined as what every the dominant kids are into). This is all part of the learning process as they learn about power and how to use it.

    Adults on the other hand are nowadays expected to be respectful of everyone, no matter how different their tastes are. The overriding philosophy seems to be you can do what you like, whatever it is. The current test on incest law is part of that trend.

    The problem puts adults at a disadvantage, much like a pacifist against a bully. In the past it was overcome through severe punishment and as correctly noted in other posts merely obedience without respect.

    However adults should be respected, to some degree. They have many things kids often don’t have, such as experience, knowledge, maturity, compassion for others and respect. That makes an adult’s opinion, on the whole, more valuable than a child’s.

    People also try to teach kids things. Perhaps by asking a kid to do chores the parent is teaching them a work ethic, a community ethic, perseverance, the value of money (if paid), a skill and a sense of reward for doing something for someone else – valuable things needed in life. If the kid replies “go f** you self” and is allowed to walk off then at the end of the day it’s their choice and their loss – or is it? Perhaps its society’s loss because the world listened too much to the do-gooders and too little to common sense.

    Speaking in a vulgar manner to your mate may not be insulting, but it is to your teacher. Kids may not respect adults any more these days than they did before (all kids give their teachers silly (childish!) names – the difference is before they didn’t say it to their faces.

    A kid should be taught to do what an adult says – within reason – and - a kid should not insult or attack an adult. If these can’t be done through respect then obedience through fear of punishment is good enough for me.

    The thing is how do you make them obey those rules? Not all punishment is corporal. Not all punishment is demeaning or humiliating. Shying away from obliging obedience is not the answer.
  12. maxiogee Banned

    Having been born in 1950 I feel fairly confident in saying that that sentence could have come from any of the six different decades I have experienced so far in this life. It was — more or less — ever thus.
  13. TrentinaNE

    TrentinaNE Senior Member

    English (American)
    That might be true, Tony, but I think the difference lies in what is tolerated (and therefore tacitly approved) by parents compared to earlier generations. The Boston Globe weighs in on this very subject today.
    In my experience, too many of today's parents prioritize protecting their children from the world over preparing them to deal with it, which includes learning how to stand up for oneself while still respecting others. The parents I admire manage to strike an appropriate balance, which admittedly takes some skill and a willingness to be perceived as "the bad guy" on occasion.

  14. french4beth

    french4beth Senior Member

    It's not the kids' fault if the parents don't teach the children how to behave respectfully; however, many adults don't deserve respect, nor do they give it.

    Many parents appear to think that the more crap they buy their kids, or the more activities they sign their kids up for, the better the parent they are! Most kids don't have any real 'down' time where they can just play and actually use their imagination. Quality family time is not about rushing thru the drive-thru and gobbling down a meal while rushing to the day's practice/game/match/lesson.

    I made a point of showing my children respect from a very tender age, including saying "please" and "thank you" to them when they were infants. They all have excellent manners, and no, I didn't have to beat it into them, scream at them, terrorize them or otherwise threaten them (which is the way I learned manners from my parent, for the most part).

    I agree with TrentinaNE - most parents these days can't seem to stick to their guns - there are no consequences if children behave inappropriately, and parents are too busy trying to be the kids' "buddies" rather than giving the kids what they need, that is, love & structure.
  15. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    Is there one parent willing to put their hand up and say that their own children fit this stereotype?

    Does anybody stop to think who children emulate as they grow?

    Many of the negative comments made here relating to children could have been made by peole with little or no contact with children today other than the 3% of loud and obnoxious young people on the streets.
    Nobody notices the kids giving up their time in soup kitchens.
    No one seems to care about the kids who go and visit granny even though she smells weird and the kids have to be quiet.
    No one mentions the kids who share their food at school with kids who are a bit hungry that day.

    No body notices the stunning number of random acts of kindness committed by these young people because they are not reported with anything like the schadenfreude that delivering bad news can bring.

    Has anybody noticed that women are less polite these days?
    Has anybody noticed that men are more chauvenistic today?
    Has anybody noticed that {fill in the blank space} deserves to be criticised because I am no longer part of that group?

    Could we not equally ask;
    Has anybody noticed how useless parents are these days?

  16. maxiogee Banned

    Sadly - this, also, was ever thus.
  17. mirx Banned

    What happens when you DONT give them that possibility and still they do it, it means that they will call you whatever they want.
    And anyways that's not the point, I am comparing what it was then and what it is now, 10 years later.

    Again, not saying is good or bad just comparing.

    The young cousin was 12, she was old enough to do what she was asked and no, she didn't have a practical obligation to do anything, and that's when respect and courtesy come about, and what prevented her for doing a favor -it was that, a mere favor- was her rudeness and her inability to show any discipline.

    Is there one parent willing to put their hand up and say that their own children fit this stereotype?Many of my married cousins will.

    Does anybody stop to think who children emulate as they grow?I do

    Many of the negative comments made here relating to children could have been made by peole with little or no contact with children today other than the 3% of loud and obnoxious young people on the streets.
    I have worked with them for three years and babysat many of my young cousins. Still I think children are mean.
    Nobody notices the kids giving up their time in soup kitchens.:confused:
    No one seems to care about the kids who go and visit granny even though she smells weird and the kids have to be quiet. What about the ones who say in her face, after being asked what took them so long to visit, "I don't like to come becasue you smell weird"?
    No one mentions the kids who share their food at school with kids who are a bit hungry that day. Many more beat up the next in the row, take away his food and initimate him. An applause to those who share their food.

    No body notices the stunning number of random acts of kindness committed by these young people because they are not reported with anything like the schadenfreude that delivering bad news can bring.
    I think everybody notices and since it's so unsual evreybody comments on it. "You shoul do as XXX, he's a lovely child their parents must very proud of him, but you are..." These kids are very well appreciated respected and loved, an applause to them too.

    Has anybody noticed that women are less polite these days? I have, although them I can't compare with the women before, I'm not that old enough.
    Has anybody noticed that men are more chauvenistic today? Not where I live and used to live. If anything some women got chauvenistic with these "extrme feminism trends".
    Has anybody noticed that {fill in the blank space kids} deserves to be criticised because I am no longer part of that group? They do as a matter of fact.

    Could we not equally ask;
    Has anybody noticed how useless parents are these days? We can and we should, just not in this thread.

    I agree a 80% with Xarruc.

    Of course I can't blame the children they are nothing but a mirror.
  18. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    "Well I'll be buggered!" he said unsurprisingly.
    The good old days are only the good old days because of selective memory.
    97% of parents raise 97% wonderful kids and 100% of them go on to raise 97% perfect people.

    The 97%ers will outclass and outlast the 3%ers.

  19. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    Could you ask one of them to come here and say it directly rather than as a vicarious anecdote from you?

    Then you get my drift.

    When I was young I thought that my younger cousins were little shits and we treated each other appallingly but this was reserved for cousins not others. I would hate to be judged on the opinions my older cousins held of me when I was a bratty little sprat but for a cousin of mine to extrapolate our childhood behaviour and consider that all children treated all children in the same way would be spurious.

    What are you confused about here?
    Does your society not have soup kitchens?
    Are those soup kitchens not staffed in some way by your youth?

    A 3%er whose granny is also a 3%er. Don't you reckon that the kid would have been happy to visit the old bag if she gave the kid some reason to do so rather than just being guilted to do so?
    Did you see this happen or is this a reported story?

    That's pure rubbish. The rest of the kids would not tolerate such behaviour.
    Again, have you seen this or is this a theory?

    You have again been able to take a positive and twist it around to a guilt trip.
    You should write a post modern novel about the separation of society and youth and the nihlistic view produced.

    How do you pronounce irony?

    Why do kids in general generally deserve to be criticised generally?

    I am so pleased that you found that there is something that the kids didn't do.
    On this point we concur.

  20. maxiogee Banned

    Why then do psychiatriatrists and psychoanalysts have queues and waiting lists?
    Why could most people name one member of their family circle (grandchildren of two of the same four grandparents - aunts/uncles/cousins) who doesn't 'get on' with at least one other member?

    Parents 'play it by ear' a lot of the time.
    They do what they generally think is right for the child but they can, at times, be very mistaken.
    Is there anyone who suffered more severe chastisement as a child than the occasional wooden spoon or slipper on the read end who thinks that 'a beating' did them any good.
    The children's welfare agencies/charities cannot cope with the volume of calls they get from parentally abused, or sibling abused children (and not all of it is sexual violence, there's a lot of physical and psychological trauma going on behind closed doors - and there has been for generations. But - speaking out about it when your abuser is alive is very difficult and when they're dead it often appears pointless.

    Violence against children was endemic and systemised and was well known to be occurring in the Ireland of my youth. Apart from myself, I knew several lads who suffered regular beatings at the hands of parents who couldn't cope with what life had handed them. My sister tells me of girls in her school who were beaten at home - though a smaller percentage than that of boys.
    The religious teaching order, the Christian Brothers, is still dealing with the volume of accusations made against its members from ex-pupils. We, as children, knew that this went on, so the parents who sent they're children to these schools cannot plead ignorance of the situation. What was happening was that the state was getting a damn good education service (and a separate orphanage service and a reformatory service) and from these people, and from similar orders of religious sisters (who could be just as cruel) for next-to-nothing. The parents were then in thrall to the Church and the whole sorry situation was ignored by 'the blind eye'.

    So, I query that 97% figure.
  21. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    The 97% is completely off the top of my head and may be off by a point of two but not by much or we wouldn't have survived as a species. It is possible that 98% or 99% of people are wonderful.

    Just take a town of 10,000 people. If 97% are wonderful this still leaves 300 arseholes.

    A family of 100 still has 3 mongrels.

    We are a vast swarm and a small percentage of loosers is all we can support.

  22. mirx Banned

    Unfortunately they're no where around here, but I am sure they will if asked.

    I don't judge my cousins only based on how they behave, this is not either a thread of "Are children being treated fairly?", I am respectful to them and they are to an extent respectful to me, but they parents let them get away with things never thought of before, and the same child that years ago submissively accepted a scolding, will now retort back and try to have his way. Whether this is a minus or a plus is not the point of the thread.

    I do not know what a soup kitchen is.

    That's what I'm talking about, even if the granny was bitter and mean to the kids, these would tolerate her. Now you can't expect them to even try to deal with her moods, much less tolerate them. Is this good, bad? Not the point.

    When was the last time you were in an elementary school?
    It happens all the time in american school, I am not sure if it happens where I live now, but I am certain it happened all the time where I lived before.
    I've given similar opinions.

    Because I am not part of that group anymore.

    I do not hate kids, and I want that to be clear, I just happen to notice how enormously different they behave to when I was a kid.

    Another absolutely important thing that we (I) have been missing is the cultural differences, I can now only speak for American and Mexican children and Canadian children, and I don't see why it should be different in the rest of the continent.

    We should also get clear as to what "dis/respectful" means. Some of you have been mistaking it wiht "justice" or "fairness". And probably I have mistook it for something else.

    We can't generalize absolutely anything, but I don't have the figures.

    Let's say 25 percent of children are disrespectful, what I mean is that the proportion to which these kids are disrespectful exeeds the level of disrespectfulness their, probably parents, had 30 or so years ago.

    Again not the kids fault.
  23. karuna

    karuna Senior Member

    The planet Earth
    Latvian, Latvia
    Children are just naturally more vivid, energetic and inclined to run arround, play, shout etc. As we get older we start to like peaceful atmosphere more and more. Therefore children's behaviour may irritate us even though it was only natural for their age. When their behaviour is wrong and they should be corrected there is no need to take offence because children are trying to assert their place in this world and have not yet learned how to do it correctly. And of course, a few spoiled brats damage the general perception of children. But to me it seems that children today are not much different from my childhood time.

    I hear a lot of shocking stories how discipline has degraded in schools but then it must be the problem with these schools because it looks that when those children come home they become normal again.
  24. ElaineG

    ElaineG Senior Member

    Brooklyn NY
    Well, I was born more or less 20 years after Tony, yet it's still been 20 years since I was a child, and all the above statements certainly applied to my growing up.

    I remember putting tacks in the teacher's chair, vandalizing the science lab, mooning traffic cops, telling my mother to go f*ck herself... and I was considered a "goody goody nerd" at my school, valedictorian, Ivy bound, and all that.

    A generation before, my father and mother grew their hair long, burned their bras (not my dad!), refused to call their parents' friends "Mr. & Mrs.", told their parents outright that all of their values were "establishment," "square" and "fascist", and generally treated their parents with disdain. My father and his father got into fistfights over things like my father's getting thrown out of his high school graduation for wearing an anti-nuclear weapons armband.

    A generation before that, the same grandfather who used to beat up my father for being a hippy used to openly defy his immigrant father by eating non-kosher foods in front of him, refusing to go to synagogue every day and playing jazz records in the house. They didn't speak for about 10 years starting when my grandfather was 14, because he made it very clear to my great-grandfather that he thought Orthodox Judaism was a dumb hangover from the old country.... Talk about lack of respect ;). And those battles - with youthful rejection of old-country values were going on all over America back then, not just in Jewish households.

    And if you want to talk about youthful violence, the stories that my grandfather used to tell me about inter-ethnic gang wars (the Irish kids. v. the Italian kids v. the Jewish kids) on the streets of Brooklyn in the teens and the 20s makes everything I've heard of since pale in comparison. They really beat each other up.

    I suspect that kids as a generalized whole have always been pretty similar.
  25. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    A place where food is given to poor people.

    Now we may be getting to the nub of the opinion.

    Just to clarify the issue could you indicte how long this phenomenon has taken for you to notice? How many years since you were a kid and acting normally to now being an adult and noticing kids acting abnormally?

  26. Bonjules Senior Member

    It is, of course, a good thing that this previously 'accepted' violence in upbringing/schooling is not accepted any more ( there still is a lot, in some places more- violence agaist kids).
    But children still need someone to bring them up, somebody to be there as a positive experience ( to show by example how to treat otheres with love and respect) and to counterbalance the occasional need for (non-violent) correction or disciplining. In industrialized societies, there often is nobody around. And when you finally roll in, exhausted ('the dog won't even get up from the sofa anymore'): Who wants to waste or burden those precious times/moments with 'negative stuff', hear about problems or discipline the child? So nothing much gets done, either way. And the child is angry, rightly so.
  27. winklepicker

    winklepicker Senior Member

    English (UK)
    Are children disrespectful these days?

    Yes, of course. They always have been. If children accepted what their parents said, the world would never change. Thank goodness children are neither credulous or as jaded as old fogeys like me. I know I can't change the world: children haven't discovered that yet. Hooray!
  28. loladamore

    loladamore Senior Member

    Zacatecas, México
    English UK
    I don't know about Adam, but I quite like this quote:

    "Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers."

    Socrates (quite some time ago, I gather)
  29. cuchuflete

    cuchuflete Senior Member

    Maine, EEUU
    I used to live in a large, suburban town not far from NY City. After my sons were born, I began to notice some of the neighborhood teenagers, and imagine what my boys would be like when they reached that age.
    The local youths wore what to me were strange clothes, and they had some odd hairstyles. When I got to know them I discovered that the great majority were very nice young people. A few were jerks.

    My sons grew to that age, and wore funny clothes and had some intriguing hairstyles. They were nice people.
    Now my sons are grown, and I live in a tiny hamlet, hours away from any large city. The youth of today wear
    very strange clothes, which I am used to. They have piercings and tatoos, which I am used to. Most all of those I have met and got to know are very nice young people. A few are not.

    When I was a child, most of my schoolmates were very nice people. A few were not.

    If a massive sea change in behavior has taken place, I must have had the good fortune to always live somewhere else. The little boy who lives next door honors me (or takes advantage of me...if you are of a cynical bent) by coming over to ask me to play ball with him. He says please. When I give him a new bat, and there is no other adult around to hear him, he says thank you. All but one of the other kids in the neighborhood acts about the same. The one who doesn't seems to be imitating his father, who is a 3%er also.

    The sky is not falling, Chicken Little.
  30. mirx Banned

    That's what I understood from the beginning, but what do children have to do with soup kitchens? In my society some schools have, some don't, but how does this affect a child?

    that's a joke
    If you pay a little attention to my first posts you'll get the answer.

    I couldn't agree more to this.
  31. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    I was referring to the fact that some kids give up their time to work in soup kitchens. Another random act of kindness that goes unreported.

    Nope. An observation. You are not a young person any more.

    So I will guess that this phenomonon is of the past 10 years or so.
    Do you have a theory as to this sudden change in behaviour by children?

    I really have to think that this was an ironic comment.

  32. mirx Banned

  33. Poetic Device

    Poetic Device Senior Member

    New Jersey
    English, USA
    Oh, kids today are horrible! There is no respect for anyone,including themselves. For example, before I had my daughter I went on a little trip to a nearby "city". During my travels I saw this girl that could not have been more than twelve that was dressed like the run-of-the-mill street walker, and she was on her cell phone saying, "&^$* Mom! You're a &*^& ^%&#$! It really sickens and disheartens me.

    This is true, but I have to put my two cents in...

    I KNOW I am nothing like my mother (and trust me that is a good thing), and the same goes for a few of my friends. I would tend to think where we are better than the parents, there has to be at least one person in the world that is worse than their 'rents.
  34. luis masci

    luis masci Banned

    Oh my goodness!!! If nowadays kids in USA have this kind of behavior, it’s scaring to think some of them will be the future presidents of the most powerful country in the world.
    Well… :rolleyes: thinking it twice the situation will be not quite different than now with the current president, will it be?
  35. cuchuflete

    cuchuflete Senior Member

    Maine, EEUU
    And let us not investigate whether the following were well-behaved, well-spoken, respectful children who did what their parents told them to do- Videla, Viola, Galtieri and Bignone :D

    We might decide to have a healthy respect for bratty children.
  36. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    Nope. They must have been little goody two shoes.
    A perusal pf these forums reveals that it is apparently only American politicians who are meanspirited and corrupt.

  37. Brioche

    Brioche Senior Member

    Australia English
    I didn't realise that Paul Keating, Phillip Ruddock and Mark Latham were American.:D
  38. Rick Shaw Member

    Portland, OR
    English, USA
    Respect is earned. Respect is not given freely based on age, income, or position in society. Respect is earned based on how you treat other people. It is not more complicated than that.


  39. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    Perfectly said R.S.

  40. Veggy Senior Member

    Hi Rick can you explain exactly what you mean? Because it seems to me that you are saying that anyone who is not able to give or show respect (like a small child for example) does not deserve it.
  41. Sallyb36

    Sallyb36 Senior Member

    Liverpool UK
    British UK
    Everyone no matter how small can show respect, they only need teaching how to.
  42. TrentinaNE

    TrentinaNE Senior Member

    English (American)
    At a personal level, I would agree. But I think we're also discussing basic civility here. Just because someone hasn't yet earned my respect doesn't mean I feel entitled to treat him or her rudely. As a practical matter, even when others are rude toward me, I find it often disarms them to respond politely. ;) But I fear I'm venturing off the topic here...

  43. TRG Senior Member

    english USA
    Mores do change over time, but I think it's mostly for the better. To think otherwise is to believe that the humanity is not now and never has made any moral progress. This is silly. The young people I encounter, which isn't very many, seem very polite and respectful. I am often amazed at the maturity that young people demonstrate, certainly more than I did at the same age. So my answer to the question is no.
  44. Poetic Device

    Poetic Device Senior Member

    New Jersey
    English, USA
    This IS well said, but are you referring to the parents deservin respect from their children? If so, do you really think that is fair to say? How can young progeny define respect and decide who deserves it and who does not?
  45. Veggy Senior Member

    This brings us back to my first post in this thread where I asked what is respect. It seems to me, nobody answered. To Sallyb I'd say that not the entire world have identical values.
  46. Sallyb36

    Sallyb36 Senior Member

    Liverpool UK
    British UK
    Respect is consideration.
  47. french4beth

    french4beth Senior Member

    i think that Rick said it best. An infant may not be capable of understanding "respect", of course, and it may be difficult for a toddler to understand, but I believe that respect must be earned. I would still be polite to someone that I don't respect, out of common courtesy, but that's about it; I would avoid much interaction with such a person as much as possible.
  48. . 1 Banned

    Ferntree Gully
    Australian Australia
    Are children disrespectful these days?


    I do not understand the confusion. In the context of the question this answer can only mean one thing.
    If children are disrespectful to adults it is as a result of the actions of the adults that did not cause the children to respect the adults.

    Maybe I am wrong.

  49. maxiogee Banned

    Children very quickly learn who to respect.
    The human infant may well be hard wired to appreciate love and fairness, honesty and integrity.
    Watch any infants in their first interaction with a bunch of non-familial adults - say the neighbours on their street. They very quickly comne to kbnow who they 'like' and who they don't - and these judgements are often quite sound.
    Also, look at the interactions of families in situations such as a supermarket when the big weekly shopping is being done and the parents are trying to mind the children and do the shopping. You can tell which kids fear their parents and which resepct them, and also you can tell which ones iknow the limits they can push their behaviour to.

    I don't think that a child automaitcally owes respect to a parent.
  50. Poetic Device

    Poetic Device Senior Member

    New Jersey
    English, USA
    Nor do I, Maxi. However, you also have to take into consideration what happens when the kids go to school. If Sally sees Alice get away with treating her mother/father horribly, she is going to wonder if she can get away with it. Depending on what kind of people Sally's parents are, they will either act accordingly or let her do it for one reason or another. how they repremand Sally will have a big affect on whether Sally tries it again or not as well. Ya know?

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