"...as anger and projects it to the cause of the loss of equilibrium."

Christhiane

Senior Member
English
I'm writing an essay for uni, and my teacher's marked a part of my sentence as ungrammatical. I, on the other hand, fail to see the grammatical breach. Can somebody help me?

If you have a female anatomy, you are supposed to wear at least three pieces of clothing that society thinks is natural for women to wear. If a person refuses to comply, it frightens people and instead of questioning oneself and one’s notions, one masks one’s fears as anger and projects it to the cause of the loss of equilibrium. In the book, people behave threateningly towards the butches and the male cross-dressers, because they become insecure when their illusions about everything being neatly divided into a binary system of female/male is disrupted.
 
  • kardorion

    Senior Member
    Bilingual: English (UK)-Turkish
    I actually couldn't quite understand the meaning. Maybe she marked it because there were too many "one"s? You could shorten the sentence to make it clearer.
     

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    If you have a female anatomy, you are supposed to wear at least three pieces of clothing that society thinks is natural for women to wear. In the book, people behave threateningly towards the butches and the male crIf a person refuses to comply, it frightens people and instead of questioning oneself and one’s notions, one masks one’s fears as anger and projects it to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.
    Hi Christhiane,
    I suspect the teacher is concerned with lack of agreement of nouns and verbs in number. There are two instances of this:

    If you have a female anatomy, you are supposed to wear at least three pieces of clothing that society thinks is are natural for women to wear.

    This is tricky. If you mean, "society thinks it is natural for women to wear at least three pieces of clothing..." than it is possible to write it as you have. To avoid the awkwardness and possible ambiguity of the sentence as written, just eliminate the verb, and add "it":

    If you have a female anatomy, you are supposed to wear at least three pieces of clothing that society thinks is it natural for women to wear.

    That sounds a little clunky. You could try this:

    "...you are supposed to wear at least three pieces of clothing that society considers natural for women to wear.


    "... one masks one’s fears (plural) as anger and projects it (singular)to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.


    As an aside, "projects them to as the cause of..."
     

    Christhiane

    Senior Member
    English
    Thanks.


    "... one masks one’s fears (plural) as anger and projects it (singular)to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.


    As an aside, "projects them to as the cause of..."
    Aha, so that's the problem. 'It' is meant to refer back to 'anger'.

    Does this make it clearer:

    'If a person refuses to comply, it frightens people and instead of questioning oneself and one’s notions, one masks one’s fears as anger, and this anger is projected to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.'
     

    Elwintee

    Senior Member
    England English
    Thanks.




    Aha, so that's the problem. 'It' is meant to refer back to 'anger'.

    Does this make it clearer:

    'If a person refuses to comply, it frightens people and instead of questioning oneself and one’s notions, one masks one’s fears as anger, and this anger is projected to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.'
    Can I suggest that you use "we" (meaning we humans in general) instead of "one"? Also, I feel happier with "projected onto", as "project to" doesn't sound right to me. Likewise, could you perhaps use "our distress" instead of "equilibrium"? This gives:
    'If a person refuses to comply, it frightens us and instead of questioning ourselves and our notions, we mask our fears as anger, and this anger is projected onto the cause of our distress.'[/quote]
     

    Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    Thanks.
    Does this make it clearer:

    'If a person refuses to comply, it frightens people and instead of questioning oneself and one’s notions, one masks one’s fears as anger, and this anger is projected to the cause of the loss of equilibrium.'
    That is much clearer.

    I am not familiar with the usage "project anger to". I would say "project anger onto", although I may misunderstand your meaning.

    (This crossed the previous post.)
     

    Christhiane

    Senior Member
    English
    Can I suggest that you use "we" (meaning we humans in general) instead of "one"? Also, I feel happier with "projected onto", as "project to" doesn't sound right to me. Likewise, could you perhaps use "our distress" instead of "equilibrium"? This gives:
    'If a person refuses to comply, it frightens us and instead of questioning ourselves and our notions, we mask our fears as anger, and this anger is projected onto the cause of our distress.'
    [/QUOTE]

    I suppose 'we' is better, yes, because I do actually use it later in the text.

    You're probably right about wrong use of preposition. I do have slight problems with the right use of prepositions.

    I'll think about 'distress.'

    Thank you so much for all your help.
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top