as many as you do when you

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ridgemao

Senior Member
Chinese - Mandarin
Hello:

Today I told my daughter: If you want to choose two drama classes simultaneously, you have to memorize twice as many scripts as you do when you choose one class.

Can I simplify the above underlined sentence to the bold sentence below?
You have to memorize twice as many scripts as you choose one drama class.

I think the bold sentence is not a parallel construction for the words before "twice as many...as", but I think the underlined sentence is too long, do you have a better way to say it?

Thank you.
 
  • Sparky Malarky

    Moderator
    English - US
    No. The resulting sentence does not make sense. It would sound as if you mean "... you have to memorize twice as many scripts as you have to choose drama classes" or something kind of like that.

    But you could shorten it to "...twice as many scripts as for one class."
     

    Myridon

    Senior Member
    English - US
    Grammatically, I can only read "as" as "because" in your new sentence. It makes no sense.
    You have to memorize twice as many scripts if you choose two drama classes.
     

    panjandrum

    Lapsed Moderator
    English-Ireland (top end)
    If you want to choose two drama classes simultaneously, you have to memorize twice as many scripts as you do when you choose one class.

    For me, the natural English version simply ignores the underlined text.
    Also, you should omit the "want to" because it is not the wanting to that creates the necessity to memorize more scripts, it is the consequence of the choosing.
    And the consequence of choosing two classes is a future consequence, so you "will" have to memorize more scripts.
    And finally, I'm not sure that "simultaneously" is needed.
    So:
    If you want to choose two drama classes simultaneously, you will have to memorize twice as many scripts as you do when you choose one class.
    If you choose two drama classes you will have to memorize twice as many scripts.
     
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