attitudes about oral sex

[fenixpollo]

I discovered that there are very few words in Spanish to describe oral sex (whether it be practiced on a man or woman), while in French and English there are many words.

Does the lack of vocabulary to describe this practice indicate that it is not culturally acceptable, considered important, or widely practiced? What about in other cultures? What are the attitudes about oral sex in your culture?

Descubrí que hay muy pocas palabras en español para descibir el sexo oral (aún el que se le da al hombre o a la mujer), mientras en francés y en inglés, hay muchas palabras.

Les pregunto si la falta de vocabulario para describir este acto indica si no es aceptable, considerado importante o practicado por mucha gente. ¿Cuáles son las actitudes comunes hacia el sexo oral en otras culturas?



This question is not an excuse to discuss the sexual habits of forer@s or to describe sex acts. I would simply like to hear your viewponts on how other cultures value oral sex. Esta pregunta no es un pretexto para hablar sobre las costumbres sexuales de los forer@s, ni para describir actos sexuales. Simplemente me gustaría escuchar sus opiniones acerca de los valores que otras cultures ponen al sexo oral.

Gracias and thank you for your participation.

 

[ANNY06]

Hola fenixpollo:
Soy colombiana y en realidad este tema del sexo oral sigue siendo un tabú para la mayoría de las personas. Desafortunadamente uno observa como en las diferentes charlas, conferencias o cualquier otra conversación sobre sexo, casi nunca o nunca se toca este tema del sexo oral, de manera abierta. Pienso que sí es considerado importante y es practicado por mucha gente; sin embargo sigue existiendo cierta sombra de timidez para enfrentar públicamente este asunto; en consecuencia, esa puede ser una de las causas de la casi no existencia de palabras para referirnos a él.

 

[Dr. Quizá]

Me gustaría saber qué palabras conoces en inglés y en español al respecto, porque siempre me ha parecido que en palabras "vulgares" el español es muuuucho más variado que el inglés con su omnipresente "fuck". El único sitio del he oído que estas prácticas son ilegales es en algún estado de EE.UU. (lo ví en alguna de esas listas de leyes absurdas del tipo "está prohibido que la mujer lleve sombrero verde los jueves en Alabama").

De todos modos, me parece a mí que a este lado del charco se percibe a EE.UU. como más puritano que cualquier país europeo en cualquier aspecto, y que España no se ve a sí misma ni a algún país hispanoamericano con el que haya bastantes vínculos (como Argentina, por ejemplo) menos "moderna" en estas cosas que Francia o el Reino Unido...

 

[fenixpollo]

La auto-imagen de España, y la imagen que tienen los españoles de los americanos, es exactamente lo que quiero explorar. No pienso que los americanos somos puritanos en este respeto -- al contrario, nos imagino más "modernos", como dices.

Podemos usar como punto de referencia estos hilos anteriores:

Español -- uno, dos, tres, cuatro

Francés -- uno, dos

Inglés -- uno

Saludos.

 

[Sulizhen]

I think (and that's only my opinion) that this is due to (at least until a short while ago) the general belief that sex was a mere accesory for the marriage. I mean, for generations like my parents' one (they're on their 50's now), many people -specially women... although I'm generalizing now, so I'm not saying that there are not exceptions- did not consider sex as a source of joy, a way to enjoy with your partner, a way to share experiences and blahblahblah, but an imposed duty. So, if they had to do it, then... why do they have to do "extra" things like oral sex?

I guess that Spanish society lived "anchored" for years due to the dictatorship, so, while the rest of the world spun, and experienced different changes, Spain remained "chaste"...

Things arrived late here. I still remember when, some years ago (maybe 10 or 11, I'm not really sure), a program about sexual education was aired on the public TV. In one of its sections, people from the street were asked about their sexual habits. They asked one person (I'm going to say that she was a woman, because I can't remember if he/she was a man or a woman, so maybe the anecdote should be told the other way round) if his husband had ever touched her clitoris. She said that he tried once, but she vomited... In the end they found out that she was talking about her uvula, and not about her clitoris. With this I just try to make you figure out what was the general sexual education by that time -we're talking about the 90's!

I guess that there are social factors behind that too. Language reflects the society that uses it, and -although I imagine that this happens in almost all (western) societies- here it's not very "well-accepted" the fact of talking about sex in public. Of course you can talk about it with your friends and so on, but, in general terms, sex (and all of the "activities" that it involves, oral sex included) is still considered something dirty in some way... Some still think that those who practise oral sex are nasty perverts. Not to talk about the Catholic Church opinion that sex is something that must be done just with reproductive purposes.

About the "US-image-in-foreign-countries"-thing... I don't know the opinion of the rest of my compatriots, but I think that the general perception -at least among the people I know- is that US people are innovative (and here I include sex), but they get restrained by the "puritanist waves" from time to time. It's like... if they have freedom in certain fields, but they're afraid to show it in public...(I don't know if I'm explaining it right, since I'm not that good at English)

Anyway, as my English slang is limited, I don't really know if there are more vocabulary in English than in Spanish to refer to oral sex...

 

[luis masci]

Que temita te mandaste Avefenix!!!

I discovered that there are very
few words in Spanish to describe oral sex (whether it
be practiced on a man or woman), while in French and
English there are many words.

Yo no lo creo así.
Mirá todo lo que hay(y perdón por el vocabulario
pero…vos empezaste ¿no?)
-sexo oral (formal)
-felatio(formal)
-cunilinguis (formal)
-mamada (vulgar)
-chupada (vulgar)
- un pete (vulgar)
-una bajada(vulgar)
-un sesenta y nueve (vulgar)
A esto tenemos que sumarle lo que dicta la imaginación de cada uno (comer la…comer el…y muchos etc más)
Así que ya ves… no se si les ganamos a ustedes. Al menos en las denominaciones, ya que en actividad…bueno, nunca se sabe. Pero la sensación que tenemos quienes vivimos en estos confines del mundo y los vemos (via internet, televisión, etc) desde
aquí abajo (dicho en el sentido que se interprete) a ustedes en los llamados países del primer mundo, como gente que lo tiene todo, que ha superado esas necesidades primarias que todavía tenemos por aquí de tratar de comer todos los días y cosas por el estilo, y entonces se aburren e inventan cosas “raras”. Como el “swinging”. Pero cuando estaba logrando entender
que diablos era eso, me aparecieron con el “dogging”.
Y ese me resulta todavía más difícil de entender porque para colmo la palabreja desorienta ¿viste?
Porque te hace pensar que es algo con los perros y nada que ver (¿o si? Bueno con ustedes nunca se sabe)
Ahora espero que no inventen nada más hasta que, al menos logre entender totalmente eso del dogging.

 

[Chaska Ñawi]

Well, Luis, I must admit that I never heard of dogging until I read your post. I had to look it up on Wikipedia and then take a look at a British site on the topic. I am still recovering ....

I think you could have heard my shrieks of laughter all the way to Cordoba when I read a post from a female dogger. I won't get into details of what she was describing (suffice to say that the activity was relevant to the topic of this discussion, and involved a motorcycle as an accessory).

The part that made me laugh and laugh was her informing the reader that she liked to wear gloves because it added a fetish element to the whole experience!!!!!

 

[danielfranco]

Supongo que en español mexicano se usan más que nada eufemismos chuscos en lugar de los descriptivos, como parecen ser los que se dicen en inglés:
"luchar contra los tiburones, tomar arroz con popote"
vs.
"giving a hmm, giving a blow job"
Algunos otros foreros también intimaron que la diferencia podría ser la actitud en general hacia el sexo. Pero cabe decir que por más tabús (¿tabúes?) y prejuicios que inculque una religión (meto a la religión aquí porque en México casi había una homogeneidad religiosa aun hasta el siglo XX) y la sociedad en general, un hombre y una mujer habrán de experimentar sexualmente con más o menos entusiasmo según sus preferencias personales (algunos sufren náuseas nada más de pensarlo).
Que hablemos o no al respecto creo que no tiene mucha relación con la incidencia de la práctica en la vida cotidiana...
Digo, al menos hasta donde he visto, parece ser que ni en México ni en los EE. UU. se habla abiertamente acerca del sexo en ninguno de sus matices, sino que aun se considera poco amable mencionarlo en compañía mixta, hablando muy en general, claro. Y sin embargo aquí (en Dallas, al menos), el sexo oral parece ser el contacto sexual más frecuente...

 

[cuchuflete]

I discovered that there are very few words in Spanish to describe oral sex

Ay Pollo, ¡no mames! Sí que hay muchísimas maneras de indicar este tipo de contacto sexual. Es que los malditos lexicógrafos son muy tímidos.

 

[fenixpollo]

Gracias, Luis, por los sinónimos. No quiero meterme en una competencia para ver "quién tiene más palabras"... por lo menos aquí. ¿Por qué no participas en el otro hilo (el "uno" arriba) acerca de este tema?

Cuchu, creo que no mames se refiere a amamantar al bebé. Pero gracias de todas maneras.

Bueno, no quería ofenderles a nadie, ni sugerir que los hispanohablantes son unos reprimidos porque no tienen palabras para describir el sexo oral. La falta de participación en un solo hilo no significa que no existen frases en el idioma... solamente que pocas personas quisieron participar en el hilo.

Por el otro lado, me hizo pensar en las diferencias en actitudes entre culturas. ¿Existen actitudes parecidas en diversos países que hablan el mismo idioma? ¿O depende en el lugar y/o en la persona?

Y gracias, sulizhen, por tu opinión tan franca y bien expresada.

 

[Fernando]

Sadly I must say I am far better in written oral sex than in oral oral sex. I know several euphemisms for oral sex, but I can not compare it with English.

Anyway, oral sex is considered disgusting for many people (mostly women?) and I hear from time to time that someone is disappointed because his girlfriend/wife dislikes it and there are several jokes on the matter. Some people consider it humiliating for the sucker (con perdón) and other simply physically disgusting.

You do not speak very much on the topic, but you do not speak very much about the sex topic in general with other sex friends. Remember that, for Clinton, it is not real sex.

 

[Chaska Ñawi]

Fernando, thank you for my second really good laugh of the day - I love the idea of written oral sex versus oral oral sex.....

However, I'm afraid that I really must ask .....

what do you mean by "other sex friends?"

 

[Fernando]

I meant (obviously) people who joins my famous Saturday Night orgies.

Damn English adjectives! I meant "people with different sex" (not size, but shape).

Mods, feel free.

 

[ElaineG]

At the risk of embarassing myself, I will state for the record that I had a Mexican boyfriend many many many years ago, and while his attempts to teach me Spanish never got very far, I do remember that he had a variety of terms for all things related to sex, including several colorful and heartfelt ways of describing oral sex in both directions.

I think Cuchu is right and the dictionaries don't record everything that is out there.

 

[Gusso]

Estoy de acuerdo con Fenixpollo, en español existen pocas palabras para describir el sexo en general, la felación o el cunnilinguus. Yo soy poeta de esencia y cuando me he atrevido a hacer una que otra poesía erótica me he topado con ciertas dificultades de expresión que considero molestas, porque o bien sueno demasiado técnico (...bajo los labios entreabiertos para hacer en ti el cunnilinguus que tanto habia soñado... [!!!]), demasiado metafórico (... bajo los labios entreabiertos para llegar hasta el lumen abismal que habia soñado... [!!!]) o demasiado vulgar (... bajo los labios entreabiertos para hacerte la mamada que tanto habia soñado... [!!!]). Por lo general siempre me voy por el camino de la bondadosa metáfora (bondadosa para quien lo lee)
Saludos

 

[Outsider]

What about in other cultures? What are the attitudes about oral sex in your culture?

Voy a contestar sólo esto.

A pesar de los estereótipos, me parece que las sociedades latinas aún son muy conservadoras con respeto al sexo. Acá se habla bastante, pero sospecho que no se hace tanto. Y cuando digo que se "habla", me refiero a chistes entre amigos o adolescentes; conversas serias son mucho más raras.

 

[Gusso]

Claro que se habla y se oyen mil chistes sobre el tema, en México se da mucho el humor picante y de doble sentido que toca el tema de las relaciones sexuales en cualquiera de sus formas, pero formalidades son muy pocas y muy técnicas; para el lenguaje hablado y coloquial está bien, pero para el escrito formal es molesta la estrechez

Un saludo

 

[timpeac]

Es que los malditos lexicógrafos son muy tímidos.

O poco experimentados ya que nadie los quiere

 

[Foraneo]

I discovered that there are very few words in Spanish to describe oral sex (whether it be practiced on a man or woman), while in French and English there are many words.
What are the attitudes about oral sex in your culture?

I don't agree with your premise that in Spanish we have fewer words.
Anyway and leaving that aside, it is very difficult (if not impossible) to have an exact statistic about the attitude because most people think that what happens in the bedroom is top secret. We can only get an idea from the jokes and laughter on the subject. But in reality no one is willing to sincerely reveal their activities in the bedroom.

 

[ewie]

Sadly I must say I am far better in written oral sex than in oral oral sex.

 

[merquiades]

Sadly I must say I am far better in written oral sex than in oral oral sex. I know several euphemisms for oral sex, but I can not compare it with English.

You mean "written or oral accounts of oral sex"?

You do not speak very much on the topic, but you do not speak very much about the sex topic in general with other sex friends. Remember that, for Clinton, it is not real sex.

If you say something is not real you mean it's fake

I meant "people with different sex" (not size, but shape).

?

 

[Penyafort]

I discovered that there are very few words in Spanish to describe oral sex (whether it be practiced on a man or woman), while in French and English there are many words.

Does the lack of vocabulary to describe this practice indicate that it is not culturally acceptable, considered important, or widely practiced? What about in other cultures? What are the attitudes about oral sex in your culture?

La auto-imagen de España, y la imagen que tienen los españoles de los americanos, es exactamente lo que quiero explorar. No pienso que los americanos somos puritanos en este respeto -- al contrario, nos imagino más "modernos"

It's actually funny. It seems that Americans think Spaniards are more puritan, either because of a lingering image of Spain as a Catholic country under Franco or because they see Spain as an extension of Hispanic America, while Spaniards -and I'd say most Europeans in general- see Americans as much more puritan, probably due to movies, cases of censorship on nipples, lesser or restricted display of public affection, of breasts in beaches, and so on.

As for the supposed lack of vocabulary, I myself can come up with several ways of calling it only in Spain. A quick search and there are more than twenty if we add regional ways from several Hispanic American countries. English may be richer in this, I just don't know as I only know a couple of them, but I'd say more than twenty ways in Spanish, some of them being quite descriptive of variations in the performance, is more than enough. And that not including all those non-lexicalized creative metaphors most would understand.

 

[LoQuelcomiste]

Hey, you being an English speaker, I find that it's natural that you will think of more words for it in English (a language you'll have heard your whole life and in all kinds of circumstances) than in Spanish. Note that, for this matter, even Spanish-speakers that have grown up outisde a Spanish-primary medium won't be of much help, because most of these terms aren't learnt at home, but with peers. This, I think, happens everywhere: Spanish-speakers may find English dirty-talk oh-so-lacking, while it's not uncommon to be amazed at one's language proclivity for such expressions. I myself can only think of three expressions in English that refer to oral sex, but surelky tgere are many more.

At any rate, I don't think that Spanish lacks in terms to refer to oral sex, specially on penis-havers. (Keep in mind that Latin profanity is still a part of Spanish sonetimes, «minga» comes from «mēntula» and it still hasn't washed-off it's original dirtyness.) Some of them are kind of dated, some of them are not. Some of them may be used in other context without much thought given to their sexual connotations («no mames» or «a chuparla» meaning «fuck off»), just as in English. I don't even speak that much spanish in my day to day and so there's surely maany more words that I haven't even heard of, in Spain and elsewhere. For cunnilingus, there are less terms, but as many of the Spanish slang for oral sex is based on non-sexual words meaning «to eat / lick / suck», these + a slang-term for female genitalia are usually used (and there is plenty of that, too). If you look it on a dictionary, many of these won't appear, just because their primary meaning is not sexual (but, of course, neither is the definition of «head» on the dictionary).

Of course, it has already been said, the use of slang to define these practices is in sone way a signal that they are taboo. One example comes to mind: PDA in most Spanish-speaking countries is, I feel, less policed than in much of the USA. As such, «Frenching someone» means to have a kiss involving the tongue, whike Spanish «hacer un francés» is... well, oral sex. Because, you see, I don't think that it is particularly seen as nasty to have tongue involved during kisses in Spain and, so, I struggle to even think of a slang term that refers specifically to that (I think it wouls be implied by «besar», which is the word for general kissing, unless it was specified otherwise).

I think current actitudes to oral sex in Spain aren't particularly prudish. Most people would think of it as a typical part of sex or, if anything, as less-than-sex, but rarely anyone would think of it as more taboo than penetrative intercourse. Now, of course, your mileage may vary.

 

[Encolpius]

Maybe a few words, but plenty of paintings, sculptures left through history since Ancient Egypt, including the Middle Ages, not only in Europe, of course. And oral sex is a softer theme you can notice on them. 😂

 

[Włoskipolak 72]

What about "blow job" in other languages ??
I think in Polish this therm doesn't sound too bad, vulgar..🤣

robić laskę
robić loda
ciągnąć druta
ssać pałę
chapać dzidę

 

[merquiades]

What about "blow job" in other languages ??

A bit outdated now...

Go down on someone
Suck someone off
Give someone head
Give someone throat

All are extremely vulgar for people who don't consider the subject polite conversation.

 

[Pedro y La Torre]

All are extremely vulgar for people who don't consider the subject polite conversation.

I can't imagine you'd find yourself discussing such a topic over tea and biscuits with your great-aunt, merquiades.

 

[merquiades]

I can't imagine you'd find yourself discussing such a topic over tea and biscuits with your great-aunt, merquiades.

True, unless your great aunt were Madonna.

 

[Penyafort]

What about "blow job" in other languages ??

In Catalan, the typical vulgar ones for the standard una fel·lació are:

- xuclada
- mamada
- francès

The first one means an action of sucking, a suction, a lick. From the verb xuclar.
The second one means an action of sucking milk from a breast, as the verb mamar means to nurse from a breast. Here it's obviously a transposition of that meaning to a parallel type of suction. The word is most probably just calqued from Spanish slang.
The third one means 'French' but used as a noun. I'd say it's slightly dated these days but still understandable for most people.

The word pipada also exists, but unlike in French, it's mainly used for puffing or dragging a cigarette or pipe. If used in the sense of fellatio, it'd be more a metaphore than a lexicalized term. As often with these terms, there are other ways too that are also figurative forms understandood by context but not terms you'd find in a dictionary.

 

[Pedro y La Torre]

Why "French"?

 

[Penyafort]

It probably has to do with the association of everything related to sex and prostitutes with France by the beginning of the 20th century. You know, what went side by side with that artistic Belle Époque...

 

[gato radioso]

Why "French"?

I don´t know really...
I´d expect you call it un espagnol in France. Is that right?

We also say un griego for anal sex.

 

[friasc]

Does the lack of vocabulary to describe this practice indicate that it is not culturally acceptable, considered important, or widely practiced?

In Chile, I've often been told exactly the opposite, namely that the use of colorful double entendres and euphemisms to talk about sex is a symptom of an uptight, conservative culture where calling things by their name is taboo. I have to admit that, to my American sensibilities, using all those metaphors and animal names seems childish, like you never got past the age of drawing vulgar cartoons in your school textbook. Then again, I also think it's cultural: our American sexual vulgarities and pillow talk would sound out of place over there, just as theirs would here. The obligation to speak indirectly can also be a stimulating creative constraint: how many songs and poems owe their charm to the ingenious periphrases and rhetorical figures used for coitus? On the other hand, I can't think of a more erotic song than the frank and direct "Let's get it on"!

 

[Pedro y La Torre]

I don´t know really...
I´d expect you call it un espagnol in France. Is that right?

We also say un griego for anal sex.

No, there are no nationality-based terms in French that I am aware of for this kind of activity.

 

[aefrizzo]

If you happen to wander along the streets of my town, even in the very center, you will read at times this graffiti: XXXX SUCA. Literally it means "suck me" and is extremely vulgar. So do'nt ask, please and do'nt mention it.
Actually it has lost any sex or gender innuendo and is just a despising defy to an imaginary or actual enemy (xxxx), as f.i. either a soccer or political team.

 

[merquiades]

No, there are no nationality-based terms in French that I am aware of for this kind of activity.

Well, there is la branlette espagnole...

 

[gato radioso]

Well, there is la branlette espagnole...

That practice is called una cubana in Spain.
I expect the people from Cuba to use another word of course.