Awkward sentence - logic or sentence structure

oprah

Senior Member
English/US
I need help in revising the following sentence:

To consider the web map interface for efficiency of use, Fitts’ law is a basic guideline to design an interface to deal with time and distance factors.

I'm not sure if it's the logic or the sentence structure that's making it awkward. Can anyone help?

Thanks,
Oprah
 
  • Murphy

    Senior Member
    English, UK
    "When considering the web map interface for efficiency of use, Fitts' law can be used as a basic guideline for designing an interface to deal with time and distance factors"

    What do you think? (Hope I've understood the sentence:confused: ):)
     

    Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    I need help in revising the following sentence:

    To consider the web map interface for efficiency of use, Fitts’ law is a basic guideline to design an interface to deal with time and distance factors.

    I'm not sure if it's the logic or the sentence structure that's making it awkward. Can anyone help?

    Thanks,
    Oprah
    I'm not sure about the logic but what does "To consider the web map interface for efficiency of use..." mean? Is Fitts' law something that reviews the interface for efficiency of use? Without really understanding the issue, I perceive two different subjects in this one sentence.
     

    JamesM

    Senior Member
    It does seem like there are two complete sentences here, although Murphy did a great job of connecting them. It seems like it could be simplified to something like:

    "Fitts' law may be used as a basic guideline to evaluate the web map interface for efficiency of use."

    If it's important to explain Fitts' Law in the same sentence, you could add it as an explanatory clause:

    "Fitts' law, a model dealing with time and distance factors, may be used as a basic guideline to evaluate the web map interface for efficiency of use."
     

    bellerophon

    Member
    English - Canada
    It doesn't seem as though there are 2 complete sentences, but I think the awkwardness stems from the fact that your first phrase should be subordinate to the second.

    Murphy has done a good job at showing the reader that the phrase supports the second. "When considering..."

    This could even be made shorter by jumping right into "Considering..."
     

    oprah

    Senior Member
    English/US
    I think Murphy's rewording worked. It now reads more logically, for me, at least.

    Thanks for everyone's help!!
     
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