Awkward Wording?

Ritterbruder

Member
Chinese(Mandarin and Shangahainese), English
Falstaff illustrates minimal willingness to sacrifice in order to preserve his honor, subsequently denouncing the code.

Is the bold part considered awkward wording? I try to make my writing sound more advanced but it could cause it to sound weird.

If it is wrong, could you give me some suggestions as to correcting it?
 
  • Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    Falstaff illustrates minimal willingness to sacrifice in order to preserve his honor, subsequently denouncing the code.

    Is the bold part considered awkward wording? I try to make my writing sound more advanced but it could cause it to sound weird.

    If it is wrong, could you give me some suggestions as to correcting it?
    No, it sounds alright, Ritterbruder - I'm just not sure that you haven't left something out... what is Falstaff sacrificing or is it just a general sacrifice? The phrase "minimal willingness to sacrifice in order to preserve his honour" sounds odd to my ear.
     

    Ritterbruder

    Member
    Chinese(Mandarin and Shangahainese), English
    I didn't post the whole paragraph but it says earlier that he is unwilling to sacrifice life to retain his honor.

    I guess it could be fine because this sentence could be like an "implied understanding" due to its context.
     
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