Before investigations were performed...

Discussion in 'English Only' started by shiningstar, Feb 9, 2010.

  1. shiningstar

    shiningstar Senior Member

    turkish
    Hi,

    "In this project, investigations carried out with ZnAl15 materials for joining zinc coated steel sheets of TI094 WWP+E1(thickness 1,1 mm). Before investigations were performed by resistance spot soldering and show that using low temperature melting materials leads to a lower damaging of the zinc coating."

    This passage is from a research report. Second sentence doesn't seem make sense as it begins with "Before". I need your opinions.
     
  2. Copyright

    Copyright Senior Member

    Penang
    American English
    Here's a guess: put a comma after "Before."

    Before, investigations were performed by resistance spot soldering... (second sentence)
    Now, they are carried out with ZnAl15 materials... (first sentence)

    See if that makes sense.
     
  3. shiningstar

    shiningstar Senior Member

    turkish
    Before, investigations were performed by resistance spot soldering and show that using low temperature melting materials leads to a lower damaging of the zinc coating. (new technique)

    I tried to highlight the incongruence here. Even when I used comma, it doesn't make sense.
     
  4. shawnee

    shawnee Senior Member

    Melbourne
    English - Australian
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2010
  5. shiningstar

    shiningstar Senior Member

    turkish
    :) Now, it makes sense. Thanks.
     
  6. Copyright

    Copyright Senior Member

    Penang
    American English
    Before, investigations were performed by resistance spot soldering, which showed that using low-temperature melting materials results in less damage to the zinc coating.
     
  7. entangledbank

    entangledbank Senior Member

    London
    English - South-East England
    shawnee's analysis seems correct, and the original sentences are both in error. Minimally, the first needs 'were' added, while the second needs a comma and the change of tense to 'showed'. But 'before' without a complement here is rather colloquial: 'previously' is much better for such a report.

    Oh yes, and 'a lower damaging' is wrong too. (I just noticed Copyright's reply above.)
     
  8. Copyright

    Copyright Senior Member

    Penang
    American English
    Yes, previously is much better.
     
  9. shawnee

    shawnee Senior Member

    Melbourne
    English - Australian
    I agree, the 'lower damaging' needed to be altered also.
     

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