Being unable to make a decision/choice

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123xyz

Senior Member
Macedonian
I am looking for an idiomatic expression that can be used to describe the situation one finds oneself in when one is faced with a dilemma that one cannot resolve and so decides to remain passive, thus not being able to enjoy the benefits of either choice (thus, one is neither here nor there, if I can put it this way). I vaguely remember such an idiomatic expression existing, possibly involving the word "hang" and/or "between", but it doesn't come to mind now. I don't know how to look it up because I don't know what to look for. The only things I've found so far are "between a rock and hard place" and "hanging in the balance", but both of these have different meanings from the one I'm looking for (the former specifically refers to a dilemma where both of the choices are disagreeable and the latter refers to a state of uncertain future). Does anyone have any suggestions?

I'll provide a sample context, such that you may understand better what exactly I'm looking for:

She's in love with her best friend and it's killing her, but she doesn't wish to terminate the friendship because she can't bear to lose him whereas she doesn't wish to ask him to be in a love relationship with her either because she fears that she'll be too devastated to ever recover in case things don't work out, so she's just ____.

Thank you in advance
 
  • 123xyz

    Senior Member
    Macedonian
    Thank you, that seems to be a suitable choice.

    I was familiar with this expression, but was under the impression that it only means to refuse to take sides in an argument/conflict. Now, though, I've looked it up and realised that it has a broader scope, i.e. it can apparently be used to refer to being undecided in general. Anyway, I'll go with it in the text where I need it, but if someone has other suggestions, I would still be interested in hearing them.
     

    amatriciana

    Senior Member
    English - UK and US
    Another option is "she's in limbo", or "she's in a limbo", a state of suspension between wonderful (heaven) and miserable (hell).
     
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