Biometric technologies

[MichaelCa]

Hi everyone,

I'm a french marketing manager. I had to create a packaging for the new biometric product my company is about to launch. Since this box will be distributed in french, english and spanish speaking countries, i translated the text in these three languages. My spanish is ok but my english is not as good as I wish it was.

I 'd be very pleased if someone could have a look and tell me whether thoses sentences/ expressions are correct or not.

Thanks a lot,
Michael

Text:

- Fingerprint acquisition device

- 3 integrated technologies: Biometrics / RFID cards / PIN Code
- Fingerprints recording and RFID cards encoding directly from the software
- Optional Desktop RFID Cards Writer
- Only the LRC Readers integrate a RFID antena

- "Turnkey" solutions adapted to your needs
- Fast to implement and easy to use
- available in 2 versions: 100 and 500 users

- Identification specialist since 1993

 

[coolbrowne]

Greetings!

Hi everyone,

I'm a French marketing manager. I had to create a packaging for the new biometric product my company is about to launch. Since this box will be distributed in French-, English-, and Spanish-speaking countries, I translated the text in these three languages. My Spanish is ok but my English is not as good as I wish it were.

I 'd be very pleased if someone could have a look and tell me whether thoses sentences/ expressions are correct or not.

Thanks a lot,
Michael

Text:

- Fingerprint acquisition device

- Three integrated technologies: Biometrics / RFID cards / PIN Code (1)
- Fingerprints recording and RFID cards encoding directly from the software (2)
- Optional Desktop RFID Cards Writer (2)
- Only the LRC Readers integrate a RFID antenna (3-???)

- "Turnkey" solutions adapted to your needs
- Fast to implement and easy to use
- Available in 2 versions: 100 and 500 users (1)

- Identification specialist since 1993

Purple codes
(1) Not really a mistake, just style: capitalization consistency, plus spelling out a low number (3 -> Three)
(2) Nouns acting as modifiers must be in the singular, e.g. Fingerprint is used as a modifier (adverb) for recording
(3-???) Aside from the missing n, the phrase does not make sense. What was the original?

Regards

 

[MichaelCa]

Thank you very much for your responsiveness
Your answer is well organised and really constructive.

This box will be used to sell two types of biometric readers (budget restriction, no money to print two visuals):

- The "LR Readers" which are only fingerprint readers (+ keypad)
- The "LRC Readers" which also integrate a RFID antenna.


The original text for this paragraph is the following:

- Three integrated technologies: Biometrics / RFID cards* / PIN code

* Only (the?) LRC readers integrate a RFID antenna.

Does that make sense now?


Can I ask you few more advices?

• Is "Fingerprint capture device" better than "Fingerprint acquisition device"?

• Is "Three built-in technologies" better than "Three integrated technologies"?

• Is " Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding via the software" better than " Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding directly from the software"

• 
  [*]Is "Two versions available: ..." better than "Available in two versions..."?
  

Best Regards,
Michael

 

[coolbrowne]

- Three integrated technologies: Biometrics / RFID cards* / PIN code

* Only (the?) LRC readers integrate a RFID antenna.

Does that make sense now?

Yes, it does: I suggest RFID antenna (orsensor) available only for LRC readers

1. Is "Fingerprint capture device" better than "Fingerprint acquisition device"?
2. Is "Three built-in technologies" better than "Three integrated technologies"?
3. Is "Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding via the software" better than "Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding directly from the software"
4. Is "Two versions available: ..." better than "Available in two versions..."?

1. Yes
2. No preference. Maybe "embedded"
3. I was going to suggest "in software", but I realize now that I don't fully understand what this means
4. No preference, but your change from 2 to Two is an improvement that I had missed . Also I suggest 100-user and 500-user (no error in repeating the word user)

Regards

 

[MichaelCa]

Thanks a lot for everything!
I will integrate each of your recommandations; and this is not just copy & paste: you took the time to explain me everything. Thank you for that.

3. Is "Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding via the software" better than "Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding directly from the software"

3. I was going to suggest "in software", but I realize now that I don't fully understand what this means

This means that those two functionalities (Fingerprint recording and RFID card encoding) are integrated to our access control software. (Those functionalities are normally managed by one or two additional programs which have their own HMIs).

I first wanted to say:

"Fingerprint recording" and "RFID card encoding" functions integrated to the software. But that sounded very bad in my ears.

Any suggestion is welcome.

Thank you vey much for everything,
Best regards
Michael