breath heavy and coarse

Quantz

Senior Member
French
This a sex scene with unease.

"The thick knot of desire in his throat made his breath heavy and coarse."

I'm juggling without being satisfied.

Avec ce nœud épais du désir au fond de sa gorge, il sentait sa respiration lourde et oppressée.
 
  • Kelly B

    Senior Member
    USA English
    If it's any use, I'd say synonyms in English for coarse would be harsh, rough. I don't know which French adjectives are appropriate here, because he isn't ill....
     

    carolineR

    Senior Member
    France
    "The thick knot of desire in his throat made his breath heavy and coarse."
    le noeud du désir lui serrait la gorge, il haletait, le souffle court
    :eek:
     

    Quantz

    Senior Member
    French
    C'est une possibilité, mais "haletant" me semble moins juste qu'"âpre" (coarse).
     
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