by selling unicef cards

jjshin

Senior Member
korean
Coordinated a fund-raising by selling Unicef Cards that resulted in a 60% increase over the previous year.

Hi
I am writing a resume.
Can I say "by"?
 
  • xqby

    Senior Member
    English (U.S.)
    As written it sounds like the selling of the cards was the active agent in the coordination.
    Frankly I'd just omit mention of the cards:
    "Coordinated a fundraiser which resulted in a 60% increase compared to the previous year."

    I assume you've made mention to what you're increasing? Revenue in dollars? Number of people angry with you?
    I wouldn't recommend leaving things ambiguous like they are.
     

    jjshin

    Senior Member
    korean
    Coordinated a fundraiser resulting in a 60% fund increase compared to the previous year.

    How about this sentence?
     

    envie de voyager

    Senior Member
    english-canadian
    Coordinated a fundraiser resulting in a 60% fund increase compared to the previous year.

    Almost perfect. I would try:

    Coordinated a fundraiser which resulted in a 60% increase in donations compared to the previous year.
     
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