Can I use "deposit" as inside?

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tievoli

Senior Member
P.R.China
Hi, for the below sentences, can you tell me which one is better?

After negotiation, B agreed to pay A USDXXX and the business relationship between A and B will be terminated once both sides confirm the deposited payment.

A and B made an agreement, once A receives a payment from B, the business relationship between A and B will be terminated.
 
  • DAH

    Senior Member
    USA/California--English
    Sentence A is much better than sentence B. Sentence A may still be improved with regard to the setting forth conditions that result in the business termination.

    After negotiation, A and B have both agreed that B is to pay A USDXXX, and that, once A confirms the payment has been deposited, the business relationship will be mutually terminated by both parties.
     

    whynottail

    Senior Member
    Chinese
    Hi, for the below sentences, can you tell me which one is better?

    After negotiation, B agreed to pay A USDXXX and the business relationship between A and B will be terminated once both sides confirm the deposited payment.

    A and B made an agreement, once A receives a payment from B, the business relationship between A and B will be terminated.
    The second one seems simpler and better. It can be recast as-

    A and B entered into an agreement, which is- once A receives a payment of USDXXX from B, they will terminate their business relationship.
     
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