Collected out of

< Previous | Next >

Extasine

Member
French
I have a text written by Elizabeth BOWEN (in 1929) to translate, and I have many questions but I will start with the first sentence of the extract:

"About six o'clock the sound of a motor, collected out of the wide country and narrowed under the trees of the avenue [...]"

The main problem is "collected out", and for "the wide country" I guess it's an expression so I thought of something like "le fin fond de la campagne" but I'm not sure at all.

Thanks for your help!
 
  • Extasine

    Member
    French
    I don't think that's the meaning of the sentence :s I tried this:

    "Aux alentours de six heure le son d'une voiture, résonna à travers toute la campagne et s’engouffra sous les arbres de l’avenue"

    I know that's not the original meaning of "to collect out" and "to narrow", but it makes sense and I think that's the idea.. so what do you think?
     

    la grive solitaire

    Senior Member
    United States, English
    I don't think that's the meaning of the sentence :s I tried this:

    "Aux alentours de six heure le son d'une voiture, résonna à travers toute la campagne et s’engouffra sous les arbres de l’avenue"

    I know that's not the original meaning of "to collect out" and "to narrow", but it makes sense and I think that's the idea.. so what do you think?
    By ignoring the meaning of to collect out and of to narrow, you've missed the point of Bowen's unusual but elegant sentence.
     

    Extasine

    Member
    French
    I know..but that's the best I can do, I can't think of anything better to express the same meaning and make sense in French
     

    hampton.mc

    Senior Member
    French
    "About six o'clock the sound of a motor, collected out of the wide country and narrowed under the trees of the avenue [...]"

    "Vers six heures le bruit d'un moteur envahit toute la campagne puis s'intensifia (s'accentua) sous les arbres de l'avenue."
     

    la grive solitaire

    Senior Member
    United States, English
    I know..but that's the best I can do, I can't think of anything better to express the same meaning and make sense in French
    The English is unusual, thus the French should be as well. The noise [of the car's motor] is being "gathered up" from the countryside the car has been crossing, and then "narrowed down" beneath the trees as the car approaches the house. The sound moves from "wide" to "narrow". Bowen has brilliantly taken a visual image and applied it to sound to describe the car's arrival.

    About six o'clock the sound of a motor, collected out of the wide country and narrowed under the trees of the avenue, brought the household out in excitement on to the steps.
     

    Extasine

    Member
    French
    So something like "le son d’une voiture, s’amplifiant à travers toute la campagne et s’affaiblissant sous les arbres de l’avenue"
     

    la grive solitaire

    Senior Member
    United States, English
    Another way of looking at it:

    As the story opens, the noise has "bloomed" over the quiet countryside. It is now being "gathered / collected" and will be "distilled" under the trees.
     

    Extasine

    Member
    French
    C'était ma première idée de traduire par moteur, mais je crois que c'est plutôt en américain et qu'en anglais motor signifie plutôt voiture, et comme l'auteur est irlandaise, j'ai opté pour voiture
     

    akaAJ

    Senior Member
    American English, Yiddish
    "... the sound of a motor [car] ... brought the household out"

    la grive is doing his best to put the point across. Inelegantly, one can imagine the sound, trapped, bouncing back and forth across (let us say) the hilly countryside, as in a funnel (entonnoir), to be concentrated into the funnel exit, the narrow avenue leading to the country house [stately home ???]. A vague hum barely catches the attention of the household, as the awaited car approaches in the distance, until it comes roaring out of the funnel of the tree-lined avenue, announcing its arrival and stirring the crowd into action.

    My shot: "Vers six heures le bruit d'une voiture, résonnant à travers la campagne pour se concentrer dans le faisceau de l'avenue de peupliers, mit en branle la maison"

    Aside: "motor", or "motor car", is quintessentially BE; in USE it's "car", "automobile", or, sometimes, "auto".
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top