comma before 'and' [conjunction]: a conception which..., and with

[Sextus]

"Hence, one needs more than an undecided or undecidable conflict of moral realistic positions to deny the objectivity of morality; what one needs is a conception of the world which one takes to be objective, and with which moral realism is at odds."

Should I take out the last comma in this paragraph?

Thanks

Sextus

 

[Kelly B]

Um, no.
Please tell me this is a translation of an equally incomprehensible original text. Reading it is like slogging through quicksand.

 

[Sextus]

Well, it's not a translation. It is part of a paper on a philosophic subject.

So, your "no" means that I shouldn't take the comma out?

Sextus

 

[Kelly B]

Please forgive me if I've been rude. I'll try for helpful instead.

The comma belongs in your original sentence to separate the two "which" phrases. But you might consider rearranging the words to make it easier to read. Here is an attempt:

Therefore, to deny the objectivity of morality, one needs more than a conflict of moral realistic positions. One needs an objective conception of the world with which moral realism is at odds.

Is the phrase "undecided or undecidable" essential? I had trouble getting past it. If it is, then by all means use it.
Is the phrase "which one takes to be objective" essential? If not, the phrase can be reworded.

 

[panjandrum]

It says something for the sentence that you use "paragraph".

I'd hang onto that last comma, it is really important in that context.
I think I'd like to dump the first one
"Hence one needs...."