comma before 'as' [long sentence, conjunction]: have... and..., as

P

pyroknife

Banned
American Eng
I used the search function to see if I can find any information regarding commas before as, but the conditions of using a comma varies, so I remain indecisive.

This is the sentence:
I have constructed myacademic career to gain extensive experience in fluid mechanics andinterdisciplinary engineering research and am excited to apply toMIT's MASS program as it will be a great opportunityto expand my experience in these areas.

It's a somewhat long sentence. I don't like using a comma before the as because I feel it makes it sound less smooth. Is it gramatically correct not to use a comma in this case?
 
    • As I'm sure you found out by reading all the other threads on "comma before as", this is not a grammar rule but a style choice and that's why it varies. In many cases, the use of because (as in this case :D ) would remove the as, but the sentence is already overly long - in my style book! You will have to decide on your own style - but be sure to include spaces between each word :D :eek:.
     
    Okay, thank you. To avoid asking additional questions regarding commas before as, how do you know when a comma is appropriate? I have seen multiple cases, but I still can't find out which is right.

    Is this one of those cases where using a comma wouldn't be considered wrong?
     
    JulianStuart said:
    As I'm sure you found out by reading all the other threads on "comma before as", this is not a grammar rule but a style choice and that's why it varies. In many cases, the use of because (as in this case :D ) would remove the as, but the sentence is already overly long - in my style book! You will have to decide on your own style - but be sure to include spaces between each word :D :eek:.
    Click to expand...
    Yes! that's what I thought too. My old high school english teacher taught me to never use comma before because. Generally, if I see "as" in a sentence, I will automatically not put a comma there if "because" can be used instead of "as."
    Is that an accurate practice?

    And sorry about the spaces, I pasted that from a word document, but I'm not sure why it didn't paste some of the spaces.
     
    pyroknife said:
    Yes! that's what I thought too. My old high school english teacher taught me to never use comma before because. Generally, if I see "as" in a sentence, I will automatically not put a comma there if "because" can be used instead of "as."
    Is that an accurate practice?
    Click to expand...

    Your teacher was passing on hist style preferences. This is not an "accuracy" thing. If you are writing something that will be published by someone else - a journal, newspaper, publisher etc., you should follow their style guide. If not, you can still choose to adopt one of them anyway and thereafter be consistent :D If it's an "application for admission to an institute" kind of letter (a wild guess) the institution may have a style guide to help curry favour :)
     
    I agree that you don't need a comma there - and in fact, I'd say a comma is...well, I won't say "wrong" because this is an area in which there are few hard-and-fast rules, but I will say that I don't think it's a good idea.

    I'd also like to say that I think the sentence is too long - by my standards, at least. It's certainly not wrong as written (except for those pesky spaces ;)) , but it does make your readers work pretty hard to understand it. Sometimes this is necessary, but I confess that I don't see why it's necessary here. Why not just put a period after "engineering research"? But hey, your letter, your choice, of course.
     
    If you didn't want to go the whole hog with a period [post#7], Pyro, you could use a semi-colon instead. Like Julian and Kate, I find your sentence a bit on the long side: it needs some form of punctuation somewhere.

    Commas are for allowing the reader a breath:)
     
    JulianStuart said:
    Your teacher was passing on hist style preferences. This is not an "accuracy" thing. If you are writing something that will be published by someone else - a journal, newspaper, publisher etc., you should follow their style guide. If not, you can still choose to adopt one of them anyway and thereafter be consistent :D If it's an "application for admission to an institute" kind of letter (a wild guess) the institution may have a style guide to help curry favour :)
    Click to expand...
    It's a statement of purpose for a graduate school admission. It's also for the College of Engineering. I don't think they care as much as say, the College of Language Arts, about these "more trivial" grammar issues, but they certainly care about the more obvious cases.

    JustKate said:
    I agree that you don't need a comma there - and in fact, I'd say a comma is...well, I won't say "wrong" because this is an area in which there are few hard-and-fast rules, but I will say that I don't think it's a good idea.

    I'd also like to say that I think the sentence is too long - by my standards, at least. It's certainly not wrong as written (except for those pesky spaces ;)) , but it does make your readers work pretty hard to understand it. Sometimes this is necessary, but I confess that I don't see why it's necessary here. Why not just put a period after "engineering research"? But hey, your letter, your choice, of course.
    Click to expand...
    I did feel it was a tad long, but splitting it into 2 sentences sound a bit less smooth? I'm not sure how to describe it.
    This is the first sentence, somewhat like a hook, to my 500 word essay. I feel like I should get my overall point across. That point is a combination of my past experiences and what I hope to gain. I feel that by splitting it into 2 sentences, the "I hope to gain part" is not as striking and a bit delayed. My introduction is only 2 sentences long (including the sentence in my original post).
     
    ewie said:
    If you didn't want to go the whole hog with a period [post#7], Pyro, you could use a semi-colon instead. Like Julian and Kate, I find your sentence a bit on the long side: it needs some form of punctuation somewhere.

    Commas are for allowing the reader a breath:)
    Click to expand...
    Oh yes, why didn't I think of the semi-colon.
    How is:
    I have constructed my academic career to gain extensive experience in fluid mechanics and interdisciplinary engineering research; I am excited to apply to MIT's MASS program as it will be a great opportunity to expand my experience in these areas.

    Does this semi colon interrupt the flow I was trying to achieve?
     
    Having now seen it with a semi-colon ... I have to say I'd prefer a period:( (There isn't enough 'connexion' between the two parts for a semi-colon, in my [personal] opinion.)

    Does this semi colon interrupt the flow I was trying to achieve?
    Click to expand...
    Weeeeellll, there's flow and there's flow, Pyro. Pardon me for saying it but your original didn't so much flow as flood:D ~ I don't think the sentence suffers at all from being split into two:)
     
    Oh okay.

    This is what I have (my whole introduction):
    I have constructed my academic career to gain extensive experience in fluid mechanics and interdisciplinary engineering research. I am excited to apply to MIT's MASS program as it will be a great opportunity to expand my experience in these areas. The program allows for theintegration of knowledge and experience I have developed in my undergraduatestudies and research experience.

    Actually sounds pretty good now. Sometimes, you have to actually insert the punctuation instead of making judgments.
     
    Pyroknife, what sounds smooth to you sounds breathless to me. :) Now, breathless isn't necessarily a bad thing - I have in my time written sentences that were deliberately long and ran on and on - but if that's not what you're going for, you might want to be careful. What's more important: flow or ease of reading? You're the only one who can decide that.

    I think so long as your related thoughts are in the same paragraph, your flow will be fine. But maybe that's just me.

    (Cross-posted with Ewie and Pyroknife)
     
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