comma before present participle: projections that did not..., making

[LQZ]

But, these experts say, the government’s accomplishments, and its credibility, are being undermined by overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing. ---taken from New York Times

Dear all,

To my way of thinking, as "making it look as if....." is a modifier of "the vagaries of vaccine produtiion", the comma should be dropped. If not, it would make the sentence more awkward. Your opinions would be deeply appreciated. Thanks.


LQZ

 

[Copyright]

Commas are such personal things that every time I read a book I pay attention to how the author uses them. Some use many of them in the way I learned in school; others use them hardly at all. I am always in the process of streamlining my writing while keeping an eye on understandability.

Which brings me to your sentence and the many-comma writer. First, it's fine as it is for someone who wants the pauses where he or she has placed the commas. Second, I would probably eliminate them all -- except the one you're questioning. I would definitely keep that one. Modifiers are often set off by commas.

But in any case, I believe "making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing" is modifying "overly rosy predictions."

 

[LQZ]

Hi, Copyright, thank you for your prompt reply.

But, these experts say, the government’s accomplishments, and its credibility, are being undermined by overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

I have other questions:

1 What makes it look as if the vaccine effort is failing?
the vagaries of vaccine production.
That is why I think "making it look ...." is modifying "the vagaries of vaccine production".

2 May I rephrase the original like this and the meaning doesn't change?
..., are being undermined by overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine prodution, which makes it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

 

[mikun]

Hi,
I am a non native English speaker and afraid miss a taget of this thread.....
For me many commmas are helpful. I cannot pause without commma or period especialy in case of long sentence.
I have understood the meaning of this article as follows. Is it correct?

But, these experts say, the government’s policy, and its reliability, are being less evaluated for Vaccine production by overly hypothetic theory, so the decreace of Vaccine production were thought as a result of Vaccine effort failing. ---taken from New York Times

 

[Copyright]

I'm in a supermarket check-out line so I'll make this quick so you have an answer.

The rosy predictions make the vaccine effort look like a failure -- the predictions were too optimistic, so when the program figures didn't match the high expectations, it looked like it failed. In fact, the effort might have been considered good or even exceptional if the predictions had been more realistic.

 

[LQZ]

But, these experts say, the government’s accomplishments, and its credibility, are being undermined by overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

Copyright, thank you.

Acutally I can understand its meaning,but the part in red still borthers me. It may take me time to ponder your interpretation, and I will reflect it later.

Thanks again.

 

[LQZ]

But, these experts say, the government’s policy, and its reliability, are being less evaluated for Vaccine production by overly hypothetic theory, so the decreace of Vaccine production were thought as a result of Vaccine effort failing.

Hi,

I don't think you understand the original, and Copyright have explained it well.

 

[panjandrum]

But (these experts say) the government’s accomplishments (and its credibility) are being undermined by overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

In the sentence there are two sets of commas that surround parenthetical comments - replaced with parentheses in the version above

The red comma is essential, as others have said.

The commas around the blue parenthesis are not required and indeed I think the sentence is better without them.

The commas around the red parenthesis may be necessary. They change the meaning of the sentence and I don't know which meaning is intended.
Does "but" apply to "the government's accomplishments ..."? If so, the commas are essential.
Does "but" apply to "these experts say"? Then they must be omitted.

 

[LQZ]

Hi, Copyright and panjandrum, I think finally I am done.

The original is passive voice, now I reverse it to active voice like this:


But, these experts say, overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production are undermining the governemtn's accomplishments, and its credibility, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

Am I right now?

 

[Copyright]

Hi, Copyright and panjandrum, I think finally I am done.

The original is passive voice, now I reverse it to active voice like this:

But, these experts say, overly rosy projections that did not take account of the vagaries of vaccine production are undermining the governemtn's accomplishments, and its credibility, making it look as if the vaccine effort is failing.

Am I right now?

I think the most correct way still gives you a modifying clause:

But, these experts say, overly rosy projections that did not take into account the vagaries of vaccine production make it look as if the vaccine effort is failing, undermining the government's accomplishments and its credibility.

 

[LQZ]

Thank you, Copyright. I got it.