Dangling Modifier?

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tutenkharnage

Banned
English, USA
Hi, everyone.

In the following sentence, is "Among the many conditions..." a dangling modifier? If so, how would you recast it? And, doctors technically don't treat conditions per se; they treat patients, correct? My eyes have been glued to pages of text that I'm copyediting, and my brain is fried.

Here is the sentence below.

Among the many conditions Dr. Sawbones treats, he sees patients with acute illness, such as cold and flu, and manages chronic diseases for conditions like hypertension and diabetes.

Any help is deeply appreciated.

Warm regards,

tutenkharnage
 
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  • natkretep

    Moderato con anima (English Only)
    English (Singapore/UK), basic Chinese
    I don't think it is a dangling modifier - that is usually an adjective or a (present or past) participial clause. However, the construction is awkward and I might still recast it.
     

    dojibear

    Senior Member
    English - Northeast US
    Among the many conditions Dr. Sawbones treats, he sees patients with acute illness, such as cold and flu, and manages chronic diseases for conditions like hypertension and diabetes.
    It is normal to say doctors "treat conditions", so that is not a problem.

    But this is: the sentence redundantly says that he both "treats" and "sees patients with" acute illness.

    And "among the many conditions" makes the reader expect a list of conditions. Instead they get a list of 2 general areas of treatment: acute illness and chronic disease.
     

    tutenkharnage

    Banned
    English, USA
    Thank you both.

    Does this option (below) look better?

    Dr. Sawbones treats patients with a wide variety of conditions, from acute illnesses such as cold and flu to chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes.

    Or even one of these recasts?

    Dr. Sawbones treats not only patients with acute illnesses such as cold and flu, but also those with chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes.

    Dr. Sawbones treats patients with acute illnesses such as cold and flu, as well as those with chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetes. (I'm thinking this is the best of the three revisions.)


    Thanks again.
     
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    Glenfarclas

    Senior Member
    English (American)
    In the following sentence, is "Among the many conditions..." a dangling modifier?
    Grammatically yes, since the modifier applies to the subject of the sentence and it is incorrect to say that Dr. Sawbones is among various conditions. It's easily understandable, and it's certainly the kind of thing uncareful people would write with hardly a second thought.

    If so, how would you recast it?
    Your other three versions above are fine. Also:

    Among the many conditions Dr. Sawbones treats, he sees patients are with acute illnesses, such as cold and flu, and manages chronic diseases for conditions like hypertension and diabetes.​

    Here the modifier is correct, as acute illnesses and chronic diseases are "among ... conditions."
     
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