Dessert, madam. Mister Smith.

odelbee

New Member
British English
I'm using the line "Dessert, madam. Mister Smith." in an English work of fiction. The words are in French, spoken by a waiter at an expensive restaurant. The restaurant may be formal, or more of a hip sort of place.

The waiter knows Smith, but not the woman. He's a little odd, gliding around the restaurant. He glides to their table, presents the menus, and glides away.

I'd like the line to be as short and unfussy as possible. Right now, I have "Dessert, madame. Monsieur Smith." No question marks, because of the gliding thing.
 
  • atcheque

    Senior Member
    français (France)
    Bonjour,

    I don't understand the context of that conversation.
    It looks like the waiter is correcting her speak and is saluting Mr Smith.

    If he is bringing dessert menus, it is finally OK :thumbsup: ;)
    If he asked for dessert order, a question mark is required in French (but really not in English? :confused:).
    Moreover, Madame is an apostrophe and needs capital.
     

    odelbee

    New Member
    British English
    He presents a menu to the woman and says, "Dessert, madame." He then presents a menu to the man and says, "Monsieur Smith." It's as if he's saying, "Dessert, Monsieur Smith", but he doesn't repeat "dessert" because he just used the word with the woman. Clearer? :)

    These are more statements than questions, hence the lack of question marks. Normally, yes, there would be question marks in English.

    Capitalisation is something I was wondering about with "madame". I seem to remember from earlier research that lowercase is preferred, but I'm not sure.
     

    Language Hound

    Senior Member
    American English
    If this is supposed to be in French, it doesn't seem right to me.
    I would expect him to say "La carte des desserts" when presenting them with the menu.
    "Dessert," singular and by itself doesn't make much sense to me.
     

    odelbee

    New Member
    British English
    As I said, I'd like the sentence to be as short and unfussy as possible. In English, one would say, "Dessert, madam." If possible, I'd like something as simple as that :)
     

    odelbee

    New Member
    British English
    Still confused on the M/madame thing. I'm seeing it spelled both ways in what appears to be this sort of context.
     
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