"Do you want to come with?"

roxcyn

Senior Member
USA
American English [AmE]
I'm curious to see if any native speaker uses this phrase. I have heard so many native speakers use it, and I figure there must be a following.

I don't care if it is correct, per se, just wanting to know who uses it.

Is it an American English thing? Or are there other speaks that say it?

"Do you want to come with?" instead of "Do you want to come with me/us?"

Thank you for your replies.

Pablo
 
  • Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    I'm curious to see if any native speaker uses this phrase. I have heard so many native speakers use it, and I figure there must be a following.

    I don't care if it is correct, per se, just wanting to know who uses it.

    Is it an American English thing? Or are there other speaks that say it?

    "Do you want to come with?" instead of "Do you want to come with me/us?"

    Thank you for your replies.

    Pablo

    Have heard of it but haven't heard it used in my area of the world and I wouldn't dream of saying it.:)
     

    JeffJo

    Senior Member
    USA
    USA, English
    I don't recall hearing it except in movies or on TV. I don't think I've ever heard anybody say it, in person.
     

    Blumengarten

    Senior Member
    America / English
    It's common here, but I could never imagine a male saying it. I'm sure you know what I mean.

    I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Are you implying that females don't use proper grammar?

    This is not a common phrase in the United States, and is improper usage, but it will be found in places like Wisconsin where there were many German immigrants, in which language this is a common and grammatically-correct construction.
     

    roxcyn

    Senior Member
    USA
    American English [AmE]
    It's common here, but I could never imagine a male saying it. I'm sure you know what I mean.

    Well I just said it, hahaha!

    Well, thanks for the replies. It is slightly popular in my area, that is why I was asking. It is interesting how people say things, and I would say if the person was using it with me.

    Pablo
     

    Harry Batt

    Senior Member
    USA English
    It is common in the Midwest. The "with" is a substitute for "along." on one hand and it saves time of saying "with you." Blumengarten is right about the northern Europeans who settled in the Midwest. I heard a variety of unusual sentence structures in the Norwegian community where I grew up. Some have stuck with the 2nd and 3rd generations. Recently I heard a woman say, "Wait now. I'm going to go mit." Sometimes there is a charm in being grammatically incorrect.
     

    idialegre

    Senior Member
    USA English
    I've heard this usage a lot in the NYC area. It's what you might call "Jewish" English; just as in the examples mentioned above, with immigrants using constructions from German or Norwegian, many Jewish immigrants in the last century used Yiddish grammar (which is close to German grammar.)

    Check out Leo Rosten's "The Joys of Yiddish" and "Hooray for Yiddish" for a delightful account of the influence of Yiddish on American English.
     

    waspsmakejam

    Member
    UK, English
    I noticed you haven't had a British English perspective on this.

    "Do you want to come with?" or even just "Come with?" is a common useage here in York. (By the way, York is infamously short of Jews, but has strong Scandavian influences.)

    I'm originally from the East End of London, this useage confused me when I first heard it. I tend to say "Do you want to come along?".
     

    liliput

    Senior Member
    U.K. English
    I've known some girls to use "Are you coming with?" in the UK but I think it was due to American influence (a friend from somewhere around Chicago). I would understand it, but it makes me wince a little bit, I want to add "me/us" onto the end.
     

    SA Linguist

    New Member
    English - South Africa
    I am a linguistics student at a South African University and I am currently writing an essay on this. "Do you want to come with?" is very popular in South African English. Here, its use is attributed to the contact between South African English (which generally follows the rules of British English or RP as a result of colonial rule) and Afrikaans (an indigenous South African language of Dutch descent). The direct translation from the Afrikaans sentence "hulle kom saam" is 'they come together', meaning 'they are coming along'. However, some theorists have suggested that this has been misinterpreted by South African English speakers as meaning 'they come with' and is therefore becoming accepted.
     

    sdgraham

    Senior Member
    USA English
    When I was in grade school in Chicago shortly after WWII, the expression was common among children of German immigrants. The German verb is translated literally as "with|coming."

    I suspect this is at least a partial influence.
     

    Blumengarten

    Senior Member
    America / English
    When I was in grade school in Chicago shortly after WWII, the expression was common among children of German immigrants. The German verb is translated literally as "with|coming."

    I suspect this is at least a partial influence.

    You are correct. The German word is "mitkommen" and is conjugated thusly: "Kommst du mit?"

    Since Yiddish is a Germanic language, it is certainly understandable that Yiddish-speaking Jews would use the "are you coming with?" construction.
     

    mathman

    Senior Member
    English-American/New England
    As others have said, this is common in the midwest. My wife is from Chicago, and she says "come with" (as well as "go with": "Do you want to go with?").
     

    boozer

    Senior Member
    Bulgarian
    As a non-native speaker, if somebody asked me that question, my response would, undoubtedly, be "With who(m)?" or "Who's going?". Using it myself is certainly out of the question :)
     

    mathman

    Senior Member
    English-American/New England
    As a non-native speaker, if somebody asked me that question, my response would, undoubtedly, be "With who(m)?" or "Who's going?". Using it myself is certainly out of the question :)

    As would I. The construction drives me crazy, but my wife says that this is how people speak (in the Chicagoland area, at least).
     

    battkam

    Member
    English - Canada
    In Western Canada it is commonly used too; maybe because there are many descendants of German/Dutch/Scandinavian immigrants living in the region. It's not "correct" English to leave a preposition dangling like that at the end of the sentence, but it happens very often anyways, especially in spoken English.
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    It's not "correct" English to leave a preposition dangling like that at the end of the sentence, but it happens very often anyways, especially in spoken English.
    Mmm - for me, it's not the preposition-at-end-of-sentence that's the problem (I do that all the time:)) but the fact that the preposition has no object.

    The construction doesn't work in standard English, but I'm sure it works in varieties of English influenced by German or Yiddish (and maybe other languages).
     

    panjandrum

    Lapsed Moderator
    English-Ireland (top end)
    I come from Northern Ireland and I would definately use this from time to time.
    Agree. It is common around here. The meaning is very clear in the context:
    Do you want to come with (us)?
    Do you want to come with (me)?
    The preposition is not dangling, or without object: the object is understood.
     

    pen22

    Member
    English - USA
    I'm afraid I use it all the time. I'm from a very Scandinavian-heavy/German-heavy area of the United States (Minnesota), and it's very commonplace. It's so commonplace that I would find it more unusual to hear the object tacked on at the end. (As in, "Do you want to come with us?").
     

    walkingdeep

    New Member
    English
    Ok, yeah, the use of this phrase drives me crazy. My wife (who is a Pennsylvania native) uses this all the time. I grew up in Atlanta and had never heard it used until I met her. So here is my question: is there a term for this grammatical error? I'm going nuts trying to find the term for this. I heard someone refer to it on TV once, but I can't remember the show, nor can I remember what they referred to it as. I thought it was a clever response to drop the grammatical term, but can't seem to find a reference to it anywhere. Please, someone help!
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    So here is my question: is there a term for this grammatical error?
    Interesting question!

    To those who use it, it's not, of course, an error.

    I wonder if you could describe it as a calque? Though I suspect that refers more to vocabulary than to syntax...
     

    Esca

    Senior Member
    ATX
    USA - English
    I definitely hear "come with" it to be a replacement for "come along," rather than an omission of the object in "come with me."
    (In this case it could be a calque... my new word for the day!)
    I'd like to point out that nobody perceives "come along" to be an error, even though "along" is also a preposition. It's just that "come with" is nonstandard usage.

    I don't personally use it, nor does my family, even though I have two German Midwestern parents. My Philadelphia Jewish (partially German) ex-boyfriend does say it.
     

    walkingdeep

    New Member
    English
    *sigh* I suppose I will just have to allow this to nag me until the answer presents itself. This is, in fact, the beauty (and frustration) of English as a language. It continues to (and has for thousands of years) adapt to culture after culture, all the while maintaining it's core. No other language can manage that type of flexibility (and no other language can be quite so confounding).
     

    thoroughlyconfused

    Member
    English - Canada
    I'm unconvinced that "to come with" is just really an 'alternate' form for "to come along" (except insofar as the meaning is identical); to me, the former always seems to a short form of "to come with me/us/etc.".

    I'm also unconvinced that it derives from relatively recent influences from German or other languages, though such languages would surely strengthen any tendency to use the phrasal verb "to come with". We've had reports that it is common in the American Midwest, less so in California, common in parts of New York City, conflicting reports about Western Canada, reports of it being common in York, also in South Africa, etc.

    Incidentally, the following link has interesting information:
    http://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2009/05/with-or-without.html

    For what it's worth, I'm not bothered by it (even though I surely once was). Part of it is that I've simply gotten used to it. The other part is that I've since learned some German. :)
     
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