Effect of a story expressing itself in children behavior

fredoon

Member
farsi
Dear native speakers
Could you please help me with the following text? Is the underlined sentence used the words collocated?
Consider a boy watching the news about thieves stealing jewelry worth 1 million dollars. He may think wow! they struck it rich. The story was etched in his mind, and its effect can express itself sometime in his behavior. For example, when he wants a toy in a store and his parent refuses, he might remember the story and attempt to shoplift it.
Thank you in advance!
 
  • DonnyB

    Sixties Mod
    English UK Southern Standard English
    I mean the words I use in this sentence usually come together or simply does this sentence make sense?
    It more or less makes sense from your explanation of the context, but I think I'd have said something like "He remembered the story and copied what he'd read about".
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    ... and its effect can express itself sometime in his behavior.
    "Can" is wrong - I think you want "may" or "might":
    ... and its effect may express itself sometime in his behavior.
    ... and its effect might express itself sometime in his behavior.
     

    fredoon

    Member
    farsi
    It more or less makes sense from your explanation of the context, but I think I'd have said something like "He remembered the story and copied what he'd read about".
    Thank you. How does this sentence imply unspecific time? I'd like to investigate the consequence or repercussions of watching the news on the behavior of a child sometime in the future.
     

    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    I mean the boy heard the story for example 2 years ago and imitates the behavior he saw now.
    I know what you mean, but your sentence doesn’t quite work. The tenses read badly and sometime is misused.

    The story is now etched in his mind, and its effect can sometimes express itself in his behaviour.
    The story [has] etched itself in his mind, and now its effect sometimes expresses itself in his behaviour.
     
    Last edited:

    fredoon

    Member
    farsi
    I know what you mean, but your sentence doesn’t quite work. The tenses read badly and sometime is misused.

    The story is now etched in his mind, and its effect can sometimes express itself in his behaviour.
    The story [has] etched itself in his mind, and now its effect sometimes expresses itself in his behaviour.
    Thank you. How can I use "sometime", under what condition? I thought I could use it here. Could you please explain?
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    Ah - I see that lingo and I read "sometime" differently.
    I read it as meaning "at some time in the future" - that's why I suggested changing can to may or might.
    If you read it as "sometimes", then can is fine:).
     
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